Fly Over THIS Country, Metro
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
How many blogs have been written on the theme of “words I hate”? Too many, I’d venture. Well, here’s another one, bitches.
1. Flyover country
NATIONAL NEWS ANCHOR: “So-and-so was seen campaigning in flyover country yesterday.” Flyover country? Surely you’re not referring to the great Midwest. Know what, New York? I call YOU flyover country. As in when I’m flyin’ from Kansas City to Europe with my nuts hangin’ out, skeet-skeetin’ on your Statue of Liberty. (As Darnell Jackson famously told The Kansan before KU beat Memphis in the title game, “We just say ‘let your nuts hang.’ Just let them hang.” I’ve adopted that mantra, since it obviously worked.)
2. Homelanders
A few months ago I was listening to NPR and some asshole who’d written a book was discussing the finer differences between “metros” and “homelanders.” He was full of backhanded compliments like, “Both sides can learn from the other. Metros are tolerant of gays and people of different cultures. Homelanders know how to slow down and smell the roses.” Hey, why don’t you slow down and smell the front of my pants? You know what us “homelanders” say to guys like you? We just say ‘let your nuts hang.’ Just let them hang.
3. Chill
As in, “That bar is chill.” Maybe I’ll jump on the gravy train and start saying it in a few months, but I don’t think so. Chill as an adjective, I hates it.
4. Freakonomics
It’s not really a catchphrase, more just the name of a book I haven’t read. But I dislike it. Oh, look at you, authors of Freakonomics, you’re so smart and clever.
5. Breauxheim
As in, “Hey, breauxheim, let your nuts hang.” Actually, I like it.
6. Blergh
Tina Fey says “oh, blergh” all the time on 30 Rock. Is this catching on? I hope so, actually. Once again, I give it the thumbs up.
THE END.
Lawrence.com blogs are collections of short, frequently updated posts by members of the Lawrence community. Blog writers, and comment posters, are solely responsible for what they say. (Please take the time to read our full policy.)
If you're interested in writing a blog on lawrence.com, send us a couple of sample entries.
Sera Cahoone :: Pursuing a country-noir muse speckled with reflective acoustic numbers, soft drums, violin, banjo, and pedal steel, this Seattle songwriter calls to mind twilight mood-setters like Cowboy Junkies and Mazzy Star ... More info
- Keith Martin / Monday's Millionaires (early all-ages patio show)
- HOT FEST: Helping Others Together
- Reception for Tim Pennington art show
Comments
lawrence.com does not necessarily agree with comments posted below - responsibility lies with the relevant user alone. Read our full policy
Posted by tomking (Tom King) on May 15, 2008 at 10:09 a.m. (Suggest removal)
” Hey, why don’t you slow down and smell the front of my pants?"
I just fell off my chair.
Posted by OnShakedown (Chris Tackett) on May 15, 2008 at 10:29 a.m. (Suggest removal)
nice blog, broseph.
Post a comment
(Requires free lawrence.com registration.)