#ASSJAMZ New Years Eve Edition 2

Granada

2015 IS UPON US. THIS PAST YEAR HAS BEEN ALL OVER THE PLACE, BUT ONE CONSTANT IS HOW VERY GREAT ALL OF YOU #ASSJAMZ PEOPLE HAVE BEEN. COME CELEBRATE WITH US BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.



CAN YOU FEEL THE ENERGY THAT'S BEEN BUILDING UP FROM A YEAR OF BEAUTIFUL BOOTY SHAKING? IT WILL FILL THE GRANADA TO THE BRIM AND WHEN THAT BALL DROPS, ALL BETS ARE OFF. IF YOU BRING THE BOOTY, YOU MUST BEWARE THE BOOTY. RESPECT THE BOOTY.



~~~BECAUSE WITHOUT BOOTY, THINGS DON'T SEEM TO GO AS WELL.~~~



100% ORGANIC, CORN FED, USDA APPROVED BOOTY SHAKING 

NO MSG, NO SATURATED FATS, ZERO CALORIES, GLUTEN FREE, NO GMO, FAIR TRADE. TASTES GREAT, EVEN LATE.



#ASSJAMZ COMING AT YOU AGAIN ON NEW YEAR'S EVE, WITH ALL THE BOOTY SWEAT AND BOOTY SHAKING THAT YOU COULD EVER WANT OR NEED. ONLY 10 BUCKS???. THAT'S STILL CHEAPER THAN EVERYWHERE ELSE.



I WAS VISITED BY A SPIRIT IN THE NIGHT AND IT INFORMED ME THAT EVEN IN THE AFTERLIFE THERE IS MUSIC, AND EVEN IN THE AFTERLIFE THERE ARE CLERBS. WE WILL BE PLAYING CLERB MUSIC. WE WILL BE PLAYING ALL YOUR FAVORITE JAMZ FROM TODAY, YESTERDAY, TOMORROW, SEVENTEEN YEARS FROM NOW, THE ROMAN EMPIRE, AN INFINITE LOOP OF TIME AND SPACE, THE 1860s, QUANTRILL'S RAID, 65,000,000 BCE, THE NORTH QUADRANT OF THE UNIVERSE, KING KAI'S PLANET, NEXT SUMMER, LAST SUMMER, 1,400 SUMMERS AGO, THE SUMMER OF '69, BEFORE LABOR DAY, AFTER LABOR DAY, THE POSTMODERN ERA, THE RESURRECTION, THE BRONZE AGE, THE NIGHT YOU WERE CONCEIVED, THAT RADIO STATION THAT ALWAYS PLAYED AT THE POOL, THE SEVEN KINGDOMS, MORDOR, GAUNTLGRYM, THE AFTERLIFE, AND BACK IN THE DAY WHEN YOU WERE JUST LEARNING HOW TO SHAKE YR ASS IN THE MIRROR.



WHOEVER STUCK TO THEIR NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION FROM LAST YEAR GETS THEIR OWN PERSONAL RYAN SEACREST AND A BOTTLE TO POP.



~~~~CHECKLIST~~~~



BOOTY√

CONFETTI CANNONS√

BUBBLY√

DRINKS√

FRIENDSHIP√

HIGH FIVES√



$10 DOLLARS FOR EVERYBODY, 69 YEARS OLD TO GET INTO THE CAVIAR ROOM, UNDEAD TO GET INTO THE BLOOD ROOM, AND OF COURSE SO MUCH BOOTY SWEAT ON THE GROUND YOU MIGHT DROWN IN IT.



BRING YR FRIENDS, BRING YR ENEMIES, JUST MAKE SURE THAT WHOMEVER YOU BRING IS READY TO SHAKE THEIR ASSES LIKE IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD.



WE THANK YOU IN ADVANCE.



SHOW US THE TRUE MEANING OF BOOTY SWEAT.


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