Lists for October 23, 2007

From Deadwood Edition #170

On Deck

...wherein we listen to what Lawrence's movers and shakers are moving and shaking. to.

  1. Bonde do Role, "With Lasers"
  2. Girl Talk, "Night Ripper"
  3. Lil' Momma, "Lip Gloss"
  4. Sonic Youth, "Daydream Nation"
  5. Black Dice, "Load Blown"


...wherein local TV connoisseurs intimate what keeps them on their couches.

  1. Heroes "It's a show basically about eugenics. There are people in the world that have genetic abnormalities which allow them to have super powers. There are civilian groups trying to save or destroy these various factions of enhanced people. It speaks to my love of eugenics, my love of religion, and my love of science fiction. Even though it's technically a 'comic book,' I don't really read comic books. I don't like having to imagine what's going on in between the frames."
  2. Weeds "It's about a woman whose husband died of a heart attack and the only way she could possibly support her family is by selling marijuana. The story has gotten convoluted to the point where she's married a DEA agent and involved with gang-banger drive-by shootings. It's a very hilarious comedy."
  3. Pushing Daisies "Tim Burton and Roald Dahl had a baby, and that baby grew up to be the most amazing writer/director/cinematographer ever--and he produces this show. It's a complete fantasy world--narrated--with beautiful, beautiful, beautiful visuals. It tells the story of a man who can touch dead bodies and bring them back to life, but if it goes more than one minute, somebody else in the proximity or something of the same stature in the role of life has to die. He discovered this by touching his dead dog and then squirrels and birds died. He touched a human, brought them back to life, and the neighbor died. He collects reward money for unsolved murders on the side of his true interest, baking pies, but he's in love with a woman whose father he killed when he brought his mother back to life. He can't touch this girl, but they've brought in plastic and rubber, so it speaks to my true fantasies about sexuality. Latex, stockings, gloves--anything like that."

Bound Up

Currently reading: "The Humble Little Condom: A History" by Aine Collier "It's not humble--it's a really long book about condoms. It's gotten very tiresome. They talk a lot about STDs, and I've learned about syphilis being a pox and spreading all over the globe. It first showed up when Europeans came to the new world and the Portugese brought it back. As it spread through different countries, they called it the 'Portuguese disease,' then when it got to France it became the 'French disease,' and so on. It spread all the way to the East, and it has many different names. Back then, condoms were known to prevent syphilis, but they lost that reputation in America and became known primarily as a contraceptive device and people got upset by that--you know how Catholics are."

One book everyone should read: "Ishmael: An Adventure of the Mind and Spirit" by Daniel Quinn "It teaches you about natural law and about what's happening to the planet. It makes so much sense. If everyone read it, maybe we'd return to a balance with the world instead of spreading like the plague that we are. It's told from the third person perspective of a talking gorilla."

Top 20 Alternate Titles For Our Special Halloween Fun Time Inserts

1. Mahmoud AHHHHHH!-madinijad
2. Mah-in-the-mood-for-blood Ahmadinijad
3. Mahmoud Ahmadina God of Despair
4. Mahmoud Amephistopholesisdad
5. Wilt Chamber Slain
6. Wilt Chamber of Horrors-lain
7. Wilt Chamber-laid-to-rest
8. Were-Wilt
9. Wilton's Paradise Lost Chamberlain
10. The Hillary Has Eyes Clinton
11. Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Hill Clinton
12. Kill Hill Vol. 2 Clinton
13. Damned to Hill Clinton
14. Burn in Hill Clinton
15. Hillary Sins Tons
16. Hillary Cruel Clintentions
17. Cursed Lady Hillary Clinton
18. Dissected Ca-Dever/Alien Chestnut Burster
19. Rob Chest Wound/Mike The Dever's Advocate
20. Things To Do In Dever When You're Dead/Grave Rob Chestnut

Naked Data

Number of years the universe has been in existence: 6,010 (a once widely accepted figure put forth by Bishop James Ussher [1581-1656])

Date God created the universe, according to Ussher: Oct. 23, 4004 B.C.

Rank of the United States in the Reporters Without Borders 2007 Worldwide Press Freedom Index: 48

Rank of Eritrea, a small country in East Africa, among 169 countries: 169

Rank of Iceland every year since the index was first published in 2002: 1

Number of feet a dolphin can jump out of water: 20

Number of stomachs a dolphin has: 2. (One stores food and one digests it.)

Median age of Kansans: 36.3

Percent of Kansans who are of German ancestry, the highest ancestry demographic in the state: 25.9

Percent of Kansans who are of Irish ancestry, the next highest demographic: 11.5

Years during which a state board censored films in Kansas: 51

Sources: Reporters Without Borders, Discovery Channel, U.S. Census Bureau, "Banned in Kansas: Motion Picture Censorship, 1915-1966" by Gerald R. Butters, Jr.