Lists for May 20, 2008

From Deadwood Edition #196

On Deck

...wherein we listen to what Lawrence's movers and shakers are moving and shaking. to.

  1. Selda Bagcan, "Selda"
  2. Vetiver, "Thing of the Past"
  3. Dr. Dog, "We All Belong"
  4. Los Mirlos, "El Canto de los Mirlos"
  5. Dead Meadow, "Old Growth"

Tubers

...wherein local TV connoisseurs intimate what keeps them on their couches.

  1. The Office "I like it because when it started it was very mundane, but now it's this weird absurdist comedy. It's fantastic. As far-fetched as it has become, I can't relate to it, but I can still enjoy it. I love Steve Carrell-his training in Second City and his background on 'The Daily Show'? That guy's got chops."
  2. Planet Earth "It's a BBC and Discovery Channel documentary series. They somehow got funded hundreds of millions of dollars to travel around the earth and film things you and I will never ever have a chance to see. They got the very first film of a living snow leopard. It's pretty amazing. I love experiencing things without actually being there-I can just pretend how cold that mountain was."
  3. Late Night with Conan O' Brien "He's a redhead, and my wife is a redhead-I have a natural attraction to redheads. Conan's like the Barack Obama of late night-he's gangly and elitist, and I love it. He also thinks I'm bitter, which I am. I'm bitter, I've got guns, and I cling to my hatred of organized religion and the concept of God. All life is truly just floating energy presenting itself in the form of matter, and we're all one in the god-brain. It's going to be tough when Conan is replaced by Jimmy Fallon. I won't watch that."

Bound Up

Currently reading: "A Dictionary of World Mythology" by Arthur Cotterel "I got it at Half Price Books today and am just kind of scanning through it. It's got little tidbits about each deity. I think it's interesting what each culture is fascinated by and what gods they worship. Who didn't love the Greek Mythology section of Junior High? I enjoyed how there's overlap between various religions, like the similarities between Christ and Buddha."

One book everyone should read: "Jesus' Son" by Dennis Johnson "It's really depressing and a short read-a really good book. It's about a guy on this crazy drug binge, his experiences and the random jobs he gets. It's kind of a modern day 'On the Road.' One moment I was just thinking of is when he gets a job at a hospital with his friend. It's epic. He and his friend are really drugged out because the friend has been stealing pills from the hospital. He somehow gets a knife in his leg but isn't aware of it, so he keeps mopping up a bunch of his own blood without realizing it's his. It's so far out there and not my life that I can live vicariously while I read it."

Top 20 Disproportionately Harsh Punishments For Darrell Arthur's Alleged High School Grade Fixing

1. Exhuming Robert Naismith's corpse, setting it on fire
2. Stripping KU of oxygen
3. Forcing team to watch entire season of "America's Next Top Model"
4. Napalm
5. Kicking puppies
6. Placing Bill Self in the stocks
7. Chopping off Mario Chalmers' hand
8. Renditioning Lew Perkins to Guantanamo Bay
9. Replacing hardwood in Allen Field house with spike pit
10. Euthanization
11. Swapping team's coffee with Sanka
12. Jockstraps now made of poison oak
13. Drawing and quartering Baby Jay
14. Mandatory Panic at the Disco concert
15. Basketball program replaced with cockfighting
16. State of Kansas officially annexed as part of Missouri
17. First born
18. Third term for President Bush
19. Crucifixion
20. Making Arthur retake high school algebra...that's harsh

Naked Data

Age of Tupac Shakur at death: 25

Notorious B.I.G.: 24

Aaliyah: 22

Jimi Hendrix: 27

Jim Morrison: 27

Janis Joplin: 27

William S. Burroughs: 83

Virginia Woolf: 59

Arthur Rimbaud: 37

LSD inventor Albert Hofmann: 102

Martin Luther King Jr.: 39

Malcolm X: 39

Annie Oakley: 66

George Washington: 67

Susan B. Anthony: 86

Mother Teresa: 87

John Lennon: 40

Jesus Christ: about 33

Moses: 120

Noah: 950

Napoleon Bonaparte: 51

Alexander the Great: 32

Julius Caesar: 56

Adolf Hitler: 56

Abraham Lincoln: 56

Roberto Clemente: 38

Buck O'Neil: 94

-compiled by Frank Tankard