Lists for September 16, 2008

From Deadwood Edition #213

On Deck

...wherein we listen to what Lawrence's movers and shakers are moving and shaking. to.

  1. The Beastie Boys, "Paul's Boutique"
  2. Art Blakey and the Jazz Messengers, "Moanin'"
  3. Built to Spill, "Keep It Like A Secret"
  4. The Roots, "The Roots Come Alive"
  5. A.A. Bondy, "American Hearts"

Tubers

...wherein local TV connoisseurs intimate what keeps them on their couches.

  1. Mad Men "It's the best recreation, in my mind, of the 1960's Madison Avenue advertising world in New York. It might be the only one, but it's the best one. The costumes are perfect, the dialogue is spot on, and the gender relationships-how men relate to their wives and mistresses-are pretty great. The main character, Don Draper, is not who he says he is. However, Draper is so man pretty he's able to successfully build an entirely separate life around his new identity. January Jones plays Draper's wife and she's gorgeous. I have a girl crush on her."
  2. It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia "It follows Charlie, Dennis, Dee and Mac, who own a bar in Philadelphia. They basically drink a lot of beer and make fun of anyone less fortunate than them. Charlie is borderline illiterate and huffs paint. In one of the episodes I watched recently, Dennis decides to run for office-comptroller, I believe-and Charlie manages his campaign. Charlie's strategy consists of Dennis standing in front of an American flag beach towel for a public access commercial and reading a speech, written by Charlie, where he says 'You am vote America me!'"
  3. Heroes "Number one, Hayden Panettiere should not be dating Milo Ventimiglia. She is 18, he is 31. Panettiere's the little alpha-troll midget who plays the cheerleader, and I hate her. She is bendy, however. The cast's romantic entanglements aside, it is a show full of ellipses. The narrative structure is extremely confusing. Mohinder Suresh, the Indian professor in the show, should be classified in skin tone as wheatish-dark. All that aside, it's an interesting watch because it lets you escape from reality while at the same time forcing you to confront your reality, having you construct your own set of morals in deciding how you would behave had you the super powers the main characters have."

Bound Up

Currently reading: Currently reading: "Tropic of Capricorn" by Henry Miller "It's about Miller's early life. 'Tropic of Cancer' is about his time in France and this is about his time in New York. I started it this summer and have just been reading it a little bit at a time. It's supposedly one of his filthier works, but I don't find it that scandalous. I can see how-at the time-it might have been scandalous, but now it's kind of hard to judge. It's taken me three months to read. I'm not all that wrapped up in it and have been reading other things at the same time. My favorite of Miller's is 'Big Sur and the Oranges of Hieronymous Bosch.' I'm actually making my students read that one this semester."

One book everyone should read: Book everyone should read: "Middlesex" by Jeffrey Eugenides "It's about this immigrant family in Detroit and it goes into their history. Incest and all of these family secrets that come out. The protagonist is growing up in the '60s and he/she is a hermaphrodite. So it's about the history of this family coming to America and also about the changes in American society while this kid is growing up. It's awesome. From a narrative point of view, the way it pulls you into the story is interesting because it's told backwards. It uses this kid to talk about the changes in America and how identity is forged to the body-which is also what my dissertation is about."

Top 20 Entries from twitter.com/lcom

1. And with his choice of Biden as running mate, Obama has locked up the crucial 'hair plug' vote.
2. John McCain can't remember how many homes he owns. Cut him some slack...he can't remember where he put his pills, either.
3. 'Broner'--when a man is in the full bloom of bromance.
4. I want to step inside a wind tunnel that's fed a constant stream of ham gravy. We'll call it the "pork tornado."
5. Ken Burns is my favorite lesbian.
6. The wind farm out by Ellsworth is actually pretty beautiful. Give me a fist full of shrooms and I'll watch those turbines all damn day.
7. Denver has enough attractive, tattooed women to launch a thousand roller derby leagues.
8. Michelle Obama is in town. Will she strap on a suicide vest and implode the Pepsi Center to spite whitey? Only Fox News knows for sure.
9. This place is locked down tighter than Bob Dole's face.
10. For my money, the Red Hot Chili Peppers are about as painful as Larry King's Anal Warts.
11. They say Washington is Hollywood for ugly people. That being the case, political conventions are the Oscars of ugly people.
12. Sebelius just spoke. Oh, what could have been...Joe Biden doesn't look nearly as good in a dress.
13. I...I can sense my thetan level rising. Is great Xenu near? Oh...it's just Greta von Sustren standing next to me.
14. I'm in prime spitting trajectory of Blitzer's beard.
15. Evan Bayh, a Quayle averted.
16. Certainly not a new observation, but Robert Reich is shockingly tiny. Of course, that's what most women say about me when I'm nude...
17. If you believe that Jesus wrote the Constitution and life begins at ejaculation, hell yeah I want you a heartbeat away from the presidency!
18. As I'm typing this, a Palin-somewhere, possibly involving a moose-has spawned.
19. All right, who put the Chinamen in my office?
20. You're going to get your pit sizzled!

NAKED DATA

Number of prisoners incarcerated at all levels as of June 2007: 2,299,116

Average annual growth in prisoner population since 2000: 2.6%

Average inmate age: 38

Percent male: 93

Percent white: 57

Percent black: 39.5

Percent Native American: 1.8

Percent Asian: 1.7

Percent Hispanic: 31.7*

Percent serving more than 20 years: 13

Percent serving more than 10 years: 41

Maximum times an 8.5x11 piece of paper can be folded in half: 7

Mt. Everest climb death to success ratio: 1 to 10

Average life of a major league baseball: 7 pitches

The age of the youngest pope: 11

Maximum depth at which a SCUBA diver can fart: 33 feet

Sources: Bureau of Justice Statistics, Bureau of Prisons, Depart of Justice, and General Interesting Facts-compiled by Phil Cauthon

*Note: For all you math whizzes out there: stats for Hispanic inmates kept separately under "ethnicity" (vs "race" for whites, etc.)