Weird news

Money maneuvers



Attorney Michael Lazaroff, 50, pled guilty in St. Louis in June to federal charges that he gave clients extravagant gifts over the past seven years, totaling $380,000, but then surreptitiously inflated their bills with phony charges in order to make clients pay for their own gifts. Lazaroff's "generosity" included concert tickets and trips to Las Vegas.

Names in the news



99 Daniel McGill (on occasion of his marriage in March, Knoxville, Tenn.); Will Wynn (who promised his supporters he would win a city council seat in Austin, Texas, and who, in May, did win); Chunky Click (defeated for re-election in June as sheriff in Carlsbad, N.M.); Priscilla Feral, president of the group Friends of Animals (protesting mistreatment of gophers during a June festival in Viola, Minn.).

One of a kind



Britain's national patent office disclosed in March that it had received a first: poet/waitress Donna Rawlinson MacLean's application for a patent on herself. MacLean told The Guardian newspaper that her application qualifies (that she meets the legal standard of "novel" and "useful"): "It has taken 30 years of hard labor for me to discover and invent myself, and now I wish to protect my invention from unauthorized exploitation."

The price of drugs



The Manchester (Conn.) Journal Inquirer reported in March that heroin was so cheap in nearby Hartford that one police lieutenant had seen the price as low as $2.50 per dose (a 10th of a gram), which would mean that someone buying it in a convenience store parking lot, for example, would be paying less for it than a pack of cigarettes sold inside.

-- Send your Weird News to Chuck Shepherd, P.O. Box 18737, Tampa, Fla. 33679 or Weird@compuserve.com, or go to www.NewsoftheWeird.com/.

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