Lawrence.com

One small step in the right direction for Late Night with Roy Williams, and a giant leap for Squatch, the dunking Seattle SuperSonics mascot.

Last year, Late Night was mesmerizingly awful. Fans packed Allen Fieldhouse and witnessed forward/center Jeff Carey getting a haircut. Sadly, Terry Allen's Village People-style mustache was already gone at the time, or else it could have been a double-header � Carey's trim followed by Allen's mustache shaving. Let me tell ya, that would have been a party.

But this year, Late Night flowed smooth like platelets to a wound. Well, except for the sound system that couldn't handle a Bon Jovi cover. But who cares that the audio screwed up, I'm just happy there was some honest-to-goodness entertainment prior to the midnight scrimmage.

Night moves

This Late Night was an improvement over last year's, but that's still not a great compliment. It would be like a music critic saying that Shaquille O'Neal's second album was better then his first. Both basically sucked, one just sucked less, and the only reason we were paying attention in the first place was because basketball was loosely involved.

Here are a few random thoughts about the event:

l The Krispy Kreme "Extreme Acrobatic Slam Dunk Team" was truly insane. The last time I saw something like that, I was 12 and it was the Budweiser Daredevils that assaulted the rim. I was impressed then, and equally impressed 12 years later with the Krispy Kreme crew. I wonder what the job qualifications are to be a Krispy Kreme dunk guy? Think someone like Maurice Evans left college early to dunk with the crew? Could someone as earthbound as Eric Chenowith dunk if he had that trampoline to launch him?

l I noticed that the role of the Crimson Girls was greatly diminished compared with last year. While the women's basketball team was dancing to "Where the Party At," I was sitting there wondering "Where the Crimson Girls at?" I know I'm the most unabashed proponent of the Crimson Girls with a pen, but I don't think my opinion is so strewn that I can't say we need more of this group at Late Night. Like Jell-O, there's always room for Crimson Girls.

l I had no idea we had a Backstreet Boy on the team this year. No, wait, I'm checking my media guide, that was just guard Jeff Boschee.

A couple of suggestions

While the singing and dancing may be entertaining for the actual players, I think the fans enjoy the skits more. But these brief acts are disappearing. Possibly the creative force behind Late Night can't think of any suitable skits? Always eager to help the athletics department, I've got a few timely ones that could be tried in the future.

l Fear Factor: The show that pits real people against their worst fears. In this skit, we see what happens when we tell a purple-clad K-Stater that his beloved football Wildcats are 0-3 in the Big 12 conference. A commercial break, and then when we return, we have two worst-fear scenarios for Jayhawk fans: 1) Williams is reconsidering North Carolina, and 2) Allen inks a new contract to be the Jayhawk football coach until at least 2010. Scary.

l Scooby-Doo: With a special guest appearance by their pals Mario Kinsey and Reggie Duncan, Scooby and the gang attempt to foil an evil plot by a ghost that's haunting Allen Fieldhouse. The ghost isn't caught, but an unattended purse is claimed, and the gang buys some much-needed Scooby snacks with a credit card. But, zoinks! Like, that's a stolen credit card, Scoob! "Ruh? Ruh rah ree-roo!" I don't know if that'll hold up in court, Scooby.

l The Sopranos: Roy Williams sits in a basement hideout, takes a bite of his gabagol sandwich. Nick Collison and Drew Gooden sit down.

"What's the problem, boss?" they ask.

Williams gives them an angry look, slams down his fist and says, "This Quin Snyder guy is new to the $@&*% neighborhood, but he thinks he can just take what he wants."

Collison and Gooden nod.

"We'll pay him a visit in Columbia," Collison mumbles.

"See that you do."

OK, I'm probably not the right guy to write Late Night sketches. I'm just the victim of an over-active imagination. I'll stop now before I get into that "Sex and the City" skit I was pondering.