'Karen Sisco' scores, but 'Relative' reeks

It's too early to call "Karen Sisco" (9 p.m., ABC) a hit, but Sisco (Carla Gugino) is certainly the strongest female character of the new season. A federal marshal and the daughter of a suave Miami Beach private eye (Robert Forster), Karen has grown up around law enforcement and those who need enforcing. Her dad's floating card game includes a posse of ex-cons, and, in tonight's episode, Karen beds down with a handsome operator who ends up on the wrong end of a bank robbery investigation.

Produced by Danny DeVito and Elmore Leonard, "Sisco" is adapted from Leonard's novel "Out of Sight" and its movie version.

The premise of the dreadful new sitcom "It's All Relative" (7:30 p.m.) is as old as "Romeo and Juliet" and as annoying as "Amos and Andy." Bobby O'Neil (Reid Scott), the son of two Irish stereotypes, falls in love with Liz (Maggie Lawson), the daughter of two gay stereotypes.

Bobby's boorish Boston bartender father, Mason "Mace" O'Neil (Lenny Clarke), brays with the loud voice of Fred Flintstone, but lacks the charm and subtlety of that two-dimensional Neanderthal. Does "Relative" bash the Irish working class? You bet. But it's hardly worth getting worked up over a show this doomed and stupid. Call out the squad from "CSI"; this "Relative" is dead on arrival.

Tonight's other highlights

  • Scheduled on "60 Minutes II" (7 p.m., CBS): Iraqi resistance.
  • The summer season's sleaziest show concludes as the guests check out of "Paradise Hotel" (7 p.m., Fox).
  • Still under the influence of Kryptonite, Clark falls in with crime lord Morgan Edge (Rutger Hauer) on the season premiere of "Smallville" (7 p.m., WB).
  • Doug's weight loss stirs up unexpected drama on the hourlong season opener of "King of Queens" (8 p.m., CBS).
  • Josh fumes at the new regime as the acting president (John Goodman) goes ballistic on "The West Wing" (8 p.m., NBC).
  • Spike helps Angel with his new job on the season premiere of "Angel" (8 p.m., WB).
  • The new series "Ancient Evidence" (9 p.m., Discovery) employs scientists, historians and forensic experts to look for the facts behind the Bible's best-known stories.

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