These 'Stones' offer no satisfaction

What's the best way to sum up the new sitcom "The Stones" (8:30 p.m., CBS)? It's a show from the creators of "Will & Grace," who try to duplicate the humor of "Will & Grace" without the cast of "Will & Grace." But that doesn't stop at least one member of the cast from doing a pretty good Debra Messing imitation. I challenge you to close your eyes while Lindsay Sloane delivers her lines. You can almost hear Grace Adler.

Sadly, Sloane's slavish imitation might be the most interesting thing about "The Stones." Judith Light and Robert Klein star as bickering, long-married parents whose decision to divorce upsets their "adult" children.

Much like Ross on "Friends," young Winston Stone (Jay Baruchel, "Undeclared") is a brilliant scientist who is also a complete idiot. He lives at home with the folks. Sister Karly (Sloane, the Messing imitator) is a deceptive slacker who moves back home after getting evicted. At the risk of giving away the show's pathetically meager plot, in the first episode Dad and Mom decide to divorce but have sex anyway. Not to worry, though -- Mom gets to keep the house, while Dad decides to live above the garage. Wow, what does that make him: the Dad or the Wacky neighbor? Who's the boss here anyway?

  • A scant year ago, Evan Marriott "starred" on the highest-rated show on television. Now he's the host of "Fake-A-Date" (9 p.m., Game Show Network). The premise for this "game" is simple: A single gal gets to choose between two suitors. One of them is really single; the other has a girlfriend. If she chooses the "real" single guy, they both are awarded a cruise vacation. But if the "fake" date is chosen, he and his girlfriend get to steal the prize.
  • Speaking of highly recognizable stars of once-dominant shows, Julia Louis-Dreyfus guest stars on "Arrested Development" (8:30 p.m., Fox).
  • Brad Garrett is host of the "TV Land Awards" (8 p.m., Nickelodeon, TV Land), honoring past shows and bestowing awards for viewers' favorite episodes.

Tonight's other highlights

  • "Survivor: All-Stars" (7 p.m., CBS) airs one night early for the duration of the NCAA Tournament.
  • Rickshaw madness on "The Apprentice" (7 p.m., NBC).
  • A teen clutches a magic amulet to save his family from a wicked leprechaun in the 2001 kids' fantasy "The Luck of the Irish" (7 p.m., Disney).
  • The dozen becomes 11 on a one-hour edition of "American Idol" (7:30 p.m., Fox).
  • A creepy new roommate on "Kingdom Hospital" (9 p.m., ABC).

Late night

Courtney Love on "Late Show with David Letterman" (10:35 p.m., CBS) ... Jay Leno welcomes George Carlin and Jessica Simpson on "The Tonight Show" (10:35 p.m., NBC).


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