Tuesday, February 1, 2005
Jenn Chapman's apartment is a kinky lovers' paradise.
Double dongs, butt plugs, anal beads, vibrators, big blue dildos - all neatly arranged and awaiting call-up to the bedroom big leagues.
"The day that stuff comes in I have to lay everything out on the floor and count inventory," said Chapman, a 30-year-old Lawrence part-time entrepreneur whose day job is marketing for a business-planning firm. "My boyfriend gets a little irritated because they're spread out across the living room floor, and I'm trying to keep the dogs away."
Chapman's "side" job is working as a distributor for Girlz Nite Out, a New Hampshire-based company that brings sex toys into a home-shopping environment via 200+ "sex-toy goddesses" like herself who host parties for groups of friends to peruse the goods in a fun social setting.
Heck, it's not like her boyfriend is complaining.
"He's quite enthusiastic about it," Chapman continued. "Research and development is one of the best aspects of the job."
Jenn Chapman, Girlz Night Out saleswoman and "sex-toy goddess"
Women with a plan
As if the opportunity to hang out with a bunch of girls and talk sex isn't enough reason to become a "party plan" consultant, the money probably is. Last year, Chapman averaged more than $200 per party - not bad for a couple hours' work.
"This stuff sells itself," said Chapman, who takes 40 percent after expenses. "Women will come with a blank check from their husbands, like 'I got a limit when I went to the basket party.'"
And if the industry continues its rapid growth (the leading company alone did more than $20 million in sales last year), it could soon surpass home-shopping staples like Tupperware, Mary Kay, Longaberger Baskets and PartyLite Candles.
According to Dana Wilde, an executive director for Passion Parties who was among the first to bring the franchise to the Kansas City area two years ago, it's an amazing ground-floor business opportunity,
"Wouldn't everybody like to have been the first Mary Kay consultant?" said Wilde, who lives in Lee Summit and earns about $7,000 a month. "You look at companies like 'Creative Memories,' a scrapbook company - they've got 65,000 consultants nationwide ... even though we're the biggest company of this kind we still only have 6,500."
The trick for "Million Dollar Club Achievers" like Wilde is drawing a percentage from the 30 consultants she's recruited ... and the consultants they recruited ... and so on.
"I'm getting paid on like 180 people three levels down," Wilde said. "If I wouldn't have left my house and done one party last year, I would have made $62,000."
The key to the business's success, Wilde said, is giving people what they desire most - better sex.
"We don't want to be selling novelties or penis-shaped pasta; we want to be giving people actual education," she said. "I do a lot of parties where you've got daughter, mother and grandmother all at the same party."
Queens of kink
While the money is undeniably good, consultants like Chapman say it's only part of the job's appeal.
"It's just unbelievable to me to keep hearing women who have three children saying, 'OK, now I've never had an orgasm,'" she said. "I'm going, 'What?! Ok, you need this and this and this, and this is how you're going to use it.'"
The job is a natural fit for Chapman, who spent a couple years doing sex education as the director of Hannah's House, a now closed group home for pregnant teens. After hearing a radio ad a year ago for a recruiting night at The Empire Room, Chapman met with Girlz Nite Out owner Jenn Connel and went though a quick training session. She signed up, got her starter goods and held a party for a handful of girlfriends.
She hasn't had to advertise since.
Audio interviews
Chapman's routine varies party-to-party according to her clientele. For a group of "Johnson County cul-de-sac moms," she's likely to bring a wide array of lotions and potions, some basic vibrator/dildos and light bondage gear. For a group of gay men, she'll grab some "not-so-beginners'" bondage gear and a healthy assortment of anal toys.
"My one rule at my parties is for everybody to remember that something different turns everybody on," she said. "You don't want to ever make somebody ashamed of what they think is cool."
To that end, orders are taken confidentially, though more often than not people are more than happy to share. Partygoers also head home with complimentary penis and boob-shaped erasers that they used to sample flavored gels - that way everyone goes home having "sucked a little dick or licked a little tits," Chapman jokes.
Lawrence resident Roxanne Klaus hosted one of Chapman's parties a couple months ago. Besides the drinks, giggles and camaraderie, Klaus said the party created a comfort zone for doing otherwise embarrassing shopping.
"As girls we feel more secure with our friends than we do shopping by ourselves," she said. "Even if you're 'conservative' or whatever, I think that most women would want to go to a party like that whether they want to admit it or not."
"I remember the first time I went to (an adult store) I was so nervous," said Jessica Murray, a Passion Parties consultant. "It was pretty much, 'Oh, I hope no one recognizes my car parked here' and 'I hope I don't see anyone I know.'"
Sex-toy education
While professional women like Chapman, 30, and Wilde, 40, make up the backbone of the industry, college students like 19-year-old Jessica Murray are starting to get hip to it as well.
"It's more a night out with the girls than a job," said Murray, a Haskell Indian Nations University freshman in veterinary medicine. "Girls, when they get together, tend to talk about sex. Why not get paid while I do it?"
Murray signed up to be a Passion Parties consultant in November after hosting a party to see what it was like. Halfway through the presentation, she was already sold.
"I had done so much research on it I was actually stealing her lines," she said.
After hosting only two parties, Murray is already well-versed on the benefits of "Nipple Nibblers" cream ("It makes your nipples hard ... girls love it as chapstick"), "Tasty Tease" anti-gag-reflex cream ("You can actually put some on the back of your tongue and feel your mouth go numb") and her company's best-seller - "Pure Satisfaction," an orgasm enhancement gel.
"You have them go to the bathroom, and they try it and they come back and most of them will be like, 'Yep,'" she said. "I know one girl who had lost her libido. She put this on - her man was an hour and a half away and she was ready to go drive there."
Murray has traveled twice to Iowa to host parties and already has five more booked as a result. Her family is supportive of her new job, and she takes pride in empowering women and couples.
"I think it's a step forward," she said. "It's nothing evil; it's just two people or one person connecting with themselves. It's not like I would go to high schools and be like, 'Hey kids, look at this stuff!'"
What's in store
The arrival of passion parties in Lawrence presents an alternative to shopping at adult retail stores like Priscilla's and Naughty But Nice.
Priscilla's manager William Long, however, said he thought the parties probably helped his business more than they hurt it.
"It's a really big scene," said Long, who estimated that at least 20 percent of his female customers had been to a party. "The women go there and the see stuff that they want to buy and they come in here to see if we have it. Usually we have it cheaper."
Naughty But Nice owner Richard Osburn said he understood the social advantages of buying at parties but thought it was silly for people to pay a premium.
"There's way too many of these 'parties,'" said Katrina All, KU grad student in education. "The friends feel a little guilty, like, 'Well, I could probably buy something...'"
"They end up paying $125 for an item they could have bought in my store for $90," said Osburn, whose store will host free parties on request. "If protecting your privacy is worth $35 to you, then I guess that's your business."
Naughty But Nice employee Marsha Mace said she thought passion parties were a good step towards making society more comfortable with the idea of healthy sexual relationships.
"I think if more people were comfortable with sex - especially women - then we wouldn't need porn stores," she said. "People would be home doing it."
Good vibrations?
Not all sexually liberated women are getting hip to the passion party trend, however.
KU grad student Katrina All said she was invited to a party but chose not to go, citing the unnatural pressure to "get all giggly" and buy stuff.
"There's way too many of these 'parties,'" she said. "It's not that they're bad products, it's just that it's a bunch of over-commercialized stuff that I don't need."
She added: "If I really want to get sex toys, I'll probably just go buy them."
"There's all kinds of things out there you might not know about, " said Leah Koesten, Washburn student and La Prima Tazza barista. "If everybody was buying the revolving-head vibrator then maybe I'd join in."
But Leah Koesten, a 25-year-old Washburn student and barista, said she'd have no problem attending a party if invited by a friend.
"There's all kinds of things out there you might not know about," she said. "If everybody was buying the revolving-head vibrator, then maybe I'd join in."
Anyone interested in throwing a "passion party" can contact Jenn Chapman at jjennn[at]sunflower.com
or
Jessica Murray at jessmurray77[at]yahoo.com.
More like this
- 'Sex' sells well in Asia September 20, 2002
- New Chapman CD plays sincere tunes October 16, 2002
- 'Sex' sings swan song February 23, 2004
- Style Scout: Sadie Soul May 5, 2008
- This isn't your average Barbie doll January 19, 2003
Comments
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bigkatinc (anonymous) says…
on the article it is well written but tot he question of age that made me wonder what lawrence.com was targeting age wise if i had a under 15 i would not want them to read the article to me that is way too young too read or glance at at all!!!!!!!
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edie_ (anonymous) says…
Well now if you had yourself a fishin' hole you wouldn't be asking that question, mr. monkeywrench.
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squishypoet (anonymous) says…
Did the "Parental Advisory:Explicit Content" label get added to the front page after all of this controversy, or was it there to begin with?
I also dislike when being conservative about anything automatically labels you Republican, Bush loving, anti-Middle East, etc. Lawrence is a liberal place, I'll grant that- but couldn't we be "liberal" enough to allow everyone the "freedom" to their own opinions, even if they happen to be *gasp* Republican, conservative, or of more traditional morals? Something in there stinks of hypocrisy to me, but then again, I'm very tired and have been ill this week, so maybe it's just my head cold talking.
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smerdyakov (anonymous) says…
12-year-olds? Are you kidding me? Clearly this site is not geared toward pre-pubescent types. There's no bait-and-switch going on, despite some incidental overlap in content that appeals to both mature adults and kiddies (movie listings).
Anyway, how traumatizing is a fallic piece of plastic going to be to a kid that isn't already fairly well aware of their own sexuality? If your kid's of age to know what the things in those pictures are, let's hope you've already been a good parent and helped guide their thinking on such things... In any case, the world will not conform to whatever vacuum you might attempt to raise your kids in. Indeed Lawrenceusername: "Give a man a fish and you'll feed him for a day. Teach him to fish and you'll feed him for life."
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kataboom (anonymous) says…
more people need to connect with stuff like this because sex is a good thing.
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leslie (Leslie vonHolten) says…
Most of you know me as a flaming liberal, but I'm going to back up bschwarz77 on this one. A sex toy story is fine and a photo of dildos is fine, but its placement on the front page is a bit much for some 12-year-old kids looking for movie times to be faced with. Liberalism is protecting each person's ability to make his or her own choices. Splashing photos of big plastic penises across a typically benign web page takes away that choice.
I like the theory that this photo would open the door to a productive conversation with one's 12-year-old, but chances are good that 12-year-old will be too embarrassed/frightened/confused to mention it to mom and dad. Just being realistic. Sex is more than feeling good, and liberalism is more than simply adopting an "anything goes" attitude.
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amylou (anonymous) says…
You go Jenn! Never in a million years would I have expected to see you on the front page holding a dildo but you look great! Maybe I should reconsider my jewelry business....As far as the "Is this something my children should be seeing" question goes, I'm with Leslie. I think they could have been a little more discreet, for the kids sake at least. Love ya Jenn-
Amy
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Lawrenceusername (anonymous) says…
We do not have to allow these things to influence us in any certain way. If you cannot help but think certain thoughts at the appearance of certain immages, then you are a slave to those immages, i.e. they control what you think. Or perhaps more relevantly, we do not have to allow the world to influence or determine our will in any certain way. In this case, it is not necessary that someone see or experience a certain immage and manifest a certain will. For example, it is of no necessity that a child or adult see an immage (such as the one at the top of this page) and them manifest a certain will (for example a will of lust). If this were not the case, as in thought, then we are all slaves, for the world then controls our will.
The harm that we are concerned about in relation to children, is the manifestation of something within the child which he or she is unable to deal with, or that somehow certain experiences or immages will corrupt or inflict something not-good. For example, the immages above will in some manner inherently cause harm to a child or adult (causing them to become evil or bad people for instance). But if we are free in will and thought, then the concern is not the external, immages and such, but what we choose to will and think. As such, we should be interested in what our children will and think in the world as it is.
If we are not free, then it doesn't matter. Everything is determined and we can't do anything about it.
If we are both, free and determiend, then that is a whole new situation.
The problem is perhaps, that we as adults have come to think certain thoughts and ways and will certain things, many of which we do not like and dissargee with or have no control over. But we come to be aware of our ability to not have our thinking and willing determined (because we are both free and determined).
As such, however, we then assume that someone else will inherently come to manifest those thoughts too. However, it is my experience that if we are able to be free in will and mind to any extent, then we can learn and develop and specifically learn how to not have our wills or thoughts be determined. We can teach our children the same. In this case this conversation would never have needed to take place, because in being free we would be concerned with teaching our children how to not be harmed rather than trying to nullify all the things that will harm them. This is similar to teaching someone how to fish rather than catching and giving them fish.
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boobyfish (Allen Jones) says…
bshwartz: It's interesting that you label what I said "psych-babble". From my viewpoint, it is merely a deeper understanding of sex in our culture. In fact, that's what psychology does--it helps us to understand and examine our psychic world. Presumably, you're party to the so-called "moral values" camp--that camp which is entirely hostile to any form of critical thinking or examination (one needs to look no further than the way in which someone like G. W. Bush reacts when criticized to see this hostility perfectly exemplified). You want us to abide your dogmatic vision of how we ought to conduct ourselves.
I concede that my view is liberal. In fact, I identify entirely with liberal, free-thinking values. I do this because fostering free-thinking on issues like this is a condition of possibility for democracy to flourish (this, incidentally, does involve being free to look at them in a local publication like lawrence.com). How can we expect to understand our impulses unless we are allowed to speak of them freely? Examining them out in the open while trying to commit them to some kind of rational understanding is the next step. The latter is precisely the project of psychology. Your way is one of uncritically and slavishly abiding some absolute value system that your parents or church taught you. Should this be the fundament of our culture? If so, this is what we call "theocracy", and there is little that separates this from what we find in Iran, Syria, or Saudi Arabia. Why not teach our children the value of self-examination instead of proselytizing about the evils of sexual pleasure?
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bschwarz77 (anonymous) says…
I don't think you want to address the actual issue here. This isnt really an article about "free-thinking values" it's about sex toys, and a shameless plug for sales as far as I'm concerned.
Oh, and by the way, I'm a democrat. Don't make assumptions just because I dont agree with your opinion. I respect your opinion, please respect mine and agree to disagree.
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lori (anonymous) says…
Oh, well, my kids love Jenn, and I am not worried about it being on the front page of the deadwood edition. I'm just surprised the girls haven't cut it out and hung it up on the wall yet.
No problem here. I've got alot more problems explaining to the kids front pages that declare GW "man of the year."
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BigOJayhawk (anonymous) says…
Who cares about what was in this article...This is what Lawrence is fun, and different its what makes it different here...This article was great and well written..
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boobyfish (Allen Jones) says…
to bschwarz: if it doesn't bother you, then why would you say anything at all? Why don't you worry about yourself and not offer us your insipid opinions on what is or is not "appropriate". If it offends you, don't read it. Also, this tendency to attempt to conceal from our youth what is omnipresent in our culture (sexuality) is so ridiculous. The consequence is that when they finally do come of age, they are entirely bewildered, disoriented, and sometimes even pathological. Beyond that, it generates a deep schizophrenic fragmentation within American culture. There is nothing inherently wrong with pleasure--sexual or otherwise--and I find your attempt at imposing your puritanical morality on others to be tasteless and misguided.
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jdp213 (anonymous) says…
Yeah Shwarz, how dare you have an opinion that differs from anyone elses. This IS Lawrence and we are liberal, if you dont like it you can get out.
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bschwarz77 (anonymous) says…
I guess this content does bother me. I don't think just because this is a liberal town, Lawrence.com is correct in assuming that this kind of content is appropriate for all of it's target audience.
boobyfish: "insipid opinions"? - Who's to say your opinion is any more important, intresting or otherwise better than mine?
boobyfish: "If it offends you, don't read it. " - I didn't need to read it and won't continue to visit a public web site that displays this sort of information blatently on it's front page.
I respect your opinions, everyone. Please respect mine. Everyone's family is different about sexuality and the manner in which it is introduced to children. Psych-babble about what is or isnt appropriate for children doesnt really matter, but only to you and your own. Please don't try to tell me that my parents were wrong by teaching me that sexuality and this sort of content is not appropriate for public viewing.
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bschwarz77 (anonymous) says…
Not too sure the adult toy's story is appropriate for a front page spot... What exactly is your target audience ages? I'm personally not offended, but I'm sure a lot of parents wouldn't appreciate their kids seeing or reading this stuff.
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edie_ (anonymous) says…
JENN! I am so proud of you. You look so beautiful in the picture holding that glass jobbie. This is your former upstairs neighbor. XOXO!
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Carmenilla (anonymous) says…
My friend had one of these parties for her bachelorette nite. The combination of Jello shots (yikes!) and pearl studded vibrators was enough to send me into the worst case of the giggles I've ever had!
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Shelby (anonymous) says…
Relativists make me horny.
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monkeywrench (Tim vonHolten) says…
why would you fish with a big plastic cock?
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Temptingtreasures (anonymous) says…
Hi I am Kisha Williams of Kinston NC. I am also a Passion Parties gal . I was really suprised at how much money consultants make. I didnt believe it until I started with Passion Parties. I tried other companies before but this is the only one that has paid off .I am an independant consultant which means I am my own boss. My company name is "Tempting Treasures" You can be your own boss too and it doesn't cost much to start.We even give you a free website! call me if your interested. (252)527-6031 or (252)-361-0033 or email me at kwll25@aol.com or Temptingtreasuretoys@yahoo.com and check out my site below:
www.TemptingTreasures.yourpassioncons...
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Temptingtreasures (anonymous) says…
Yeah Bschwartz I can answer you I sell the stuff and I am happy to say that my customers range from women at the age of 18 to Women and men in there 70's. They all have different reasons for there purchases but its there choice and worrying about what the kids are seeing believe mw they know more than you think maybe more than yourself, never ever put it past them. And if they don't they are so sheltered and they are old married and coming to me for ways to enjoy their sexual experiences with their spouses because no one ever discussed it with them. Its the unknown that gets kids attention I have 3 of my own from a teen down to a toddler and I hide nothing. There is always a way to explain if you want them to have the truth from you or the truth that their friend made up because they didn't know either. Knowledge is power. And helps them to make better decisions in there own sexual life this might be the one thing that makes that girl stay a virgin because she learned she can still satisfy the urges without a full sexual engagement. Or the thing that keeps the teen that you could not stop from getting Aids because she just cant get enough. Think before you speak. You have to weigh both sides to anything you experience if you don't you don't learn. Now if you have any more questions I will be glad to answer them for you . I am a very openminded honest person. You are definately going to get the truth. We are never to old to learn. And if you are having sex there is no reason to be shame about it.
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turdfurgeson (anonymous) says…
Is a front-page story on pot smoking any worse than a front page story on pleasure parties and female sexuality? The answer is that neither stories are worth getting twisted about. Why does our culture overlook repulsive amounts of violence we encounter on television, film, news, etc... and get so unnecessarily and absurdly upset about sexuality?
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daprinceofLtown (anonymous) says…
I don't think anyone should argue about the sex toys or opinions. It's like an ass-hole...everyone has one. The united states wouldn't be as fun if anyone didn't have an opinion about anything. That's my view point. TTFN.
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