Lawrence.com

Back in 1998, I remember reading several previews about a game called Twelve Tales: Conker 64. It was to be another Rare platformer in the vein of Banjo-Kazooie. I always glanced over the previews, not terribly interested in the game. Then one day, I read in a gaming mag that it had been renamed Conker's Bad Fur Day, and it featured the likable squirrel from Diddy Kong Racing getting drunk and cursing like a sailor. I was initially shocked, but quickly realized that it was the magazines' April issue, which was notorious for fake articles meant to fool the readers. I laughed it off, thinking I had been fooled again by the annual April Fools' prank.

Weeks later, I saw more and more previews of this game, and I realized that it had not been a joke Twelve Tales had been turned into a foul-mouthed, sexual, M-rated platformer. The game ended up delivering on many levels, succeeding in delivering a funny story while maintaining some solid platforming gameplay. Seven years later, Conker is brought to the Xbox with some serious graphical upgrades and tons of new multiplayer support via Xbox Live. Unfortunately, not enough has been changed in the years since the original.

The most immediately apparent change is obviously the graphics. They truly are amazing on the Xbox, and you'll marvel at how great some of the environment textures and character models look. Draw distance is never an issue, fur looks great, and the different worlds are bright, vivid, and full of life. Whether it's a zombie-infested castle or a world made of feces, all of the different levels are appropriately represented.

Rare did a great job on most technical ends of the game, including the audio. While it hasn't changed much since the N64 version, it didn't really need to. The music is still top-notch, and the characters feature some great voice-over work. Gamers may find themselves surprised at the beginning of the game when they realize that some words that were uncensored in the old version are now replaced with bleeps. Upon beating the game, however, you'll unlock "Potty Mouth" mode. This takes away all the bleeps and censors so you can actually hear what that paint pot or talking cog had to say.

The game does falter a bit in the camera department, as it will often get snagged on environmental objects. During the course of the single-player mode, I died multiple times just because the camera wouldn't give me a good angle on a jump. There has been one positive change in this department, however. In Live and Reloaded, the camera shifts to an over-the-shoulder view when you equip your weapon. This certainly helps when you're trying to hit elusive enemies with your baseball bat.

This bat is one of the few changes to the story mode, as the original featured a frying pan. You'll start with this pan at the very beginning, but it'll be changed to the bat within the first thirty minutes. It's in this first stretch of the game that you'll be treated to some self-referential jokes about the developers being lazy and just making a straight port. It's good to see that they were willing to poke fun at themselves, but that doesn't make up for the fact that we got a port rather than a true sequel.

Conkers' story is a very random, and oftentimes very funny tale packed with movie references. The very first shot of the game is a direct reference to the Kubrick classic "A Clockwork Orange". As you progress, you'll notice some obvious cinematic nods to films such as Aliens, The Matrix, The Terminator, and Saving Private Ryan. It also pokes fun at the nature of videogames, such as when the giant hay bale boss says "Alright, time to wander around::aimlessly".

Humor is the games' biggest strength, but the gameplay still tends to be mostly solid. It's typical platformer fare, albeit slightly harder than usual. Thankfully, the game doesn't revolve around collecting items (like in Donkey Kong 64, Starfox Adventures, etc). Rather, Conker must do some ridiculous things to progress through the game. You'll have to give a cow diarrhea, pee on some bodyguards at a club, and beat a giant opera-singing boss made of poo. Health is obtained through "anti-gravity chocolates", and can be lost fairly easily. Conker can't fall very far without getting severely hurt or dying, so get used to that happening a lot. Some sections in the game can be truly annoying, especially after you've screwed up multiple times and forced to redo them. Also new to this version is the fairly frequent load times. They're thankfully pretty short, although it makes the game seem slightly more fragmented than the seamless cartridge version. Despite some annoyances, the game remains above-average overall in the gameplay department.

Multiplayer was a blast on the Nintendo 64 game, so it makes sense that Rare would include a fully fleshed-out Xbox Live experience. It seems that this mode is the main draw for those that have already played the N64 game, as it's the only significant non-technical change. Unfortunately, it seems like an entirely different game when played online. The entire control scheme is radically changed, and it plays way more like your run-of-the-mill "capture the flag" deathmatch game. It still features the Tediz vs. the squirrels of the SHC, and you have your pick of several character types. There's Grunts, Thermophiles, Snipers, Demolishers, and sword-wielding Sneekers. Objectives are typical of these kind of online games. You'll be raising flags, capturing bases, and sometimes just having straight-up deathmatches. Turrets and Vehicles can be manned, but don't expect depth on par with Battlefield for the PC. These vehicles feature some loose controls, and are sometimes far too powerful and unbalanced. Several games I played featured one enemy just flying around destroying the entire opposing team with a barrage of rockets for upwards of 5 or 6 minutes. Enemies seem to have too much life, which makes shootouts a chore. Snipers are very powerful, but for some reason you can't move while prone. I found it far more enjoyable to run around as the quick ninja-like Sneeker than it was to play as any character with a gun. Overall, the online portion of this game doesn't even come close to being as fun as the simple four-player modes on the 64. Gamers looking for a good deathmatch experience on Live know by now that Halo 2 is the way to go. Live and Reloaded is worth playing online a few times, but it quickly grows tiresome.

The levels themselves are possibly the best part of the Xbox Live portion of the game. While not spectacular in design, they feature some good parodies in the same style as the story modes' film references. You'll fight on futuristic T2 battlegrounds, WWII-style cities, Gladiator arenas, and even a ship based on the one in Event Horizon. These levels really add some personality to the game and liven up the otherwise dull multiplayer gameplay.

The only way I can really recommend a purchase for Live and Reloaded is if you haven't played the original Bad Fur Day. It's a fun, although sometimes flawed, gameplay experience that's worth playing through at least once for the humor. It should also be noted that for prime appreciation of the humor, you should probably be between the ages of 12 and 17. The game is still amusing, but I remember thinking it was far funnier back when I was in high school. Xbox Live support is the biggest upgrade the game made, and it's disappointing to say the least. It might be worth picking up if you're new to the Story Mode, but the online play is worth a rental at best.

Graphics: A+

Sound: A

First Play: C+

Last Play: C-

Gameplay: C

Overall: 77% C