Lawrence.com

It was a month before the wedding, and the chapel was being condemned.

The old schoolhouse was supposed to be a Graceland of sorts for Katie and Jesse Goldman. The two lovebirds had helped restore the decrepit building at Clinton Lake as undergrads in the KU architecture program, and it seemed like the perfect place to exchange vows - until the state architecture board deemed it unfit for occupation.

"That was probably about the only time we considered eloping," recalls Katie, who now woks as an architect in Kansas City. "All of the planning and everything is just so stressful, and when you have something like that that hits you four weeks before it's supposed to happen you just are like, 'Oh my god - no more; I don't want to do this anymore.'"

Eloping, however, wasn't an option. Jesse's parents tried that once. It didn't turn out very well.

"They hitchhiked to their wedding and got married in a garage," Katie explains. "They were stoned. The minister - who was also stoned - tried to marry my father-in-law to my mother-in-law's brother. Then once he figured out he was trying to marry two men he got it straight and married my in-laws."

"They have a Polaroid of the two of them in the garage," she continues. "That's the only photo they have from their wedding."

Elope with all hope

As stories like the Goldman's attest, no two marriages are ever alike. From Catholic churches to county courthouses to five-star resorts - the only constants are the bonds (hopefully) remaining after multiple weeks of madness.

Throughout the years, however, one technique has endured as the ultimate pill for nuptial-induced stress:

Improvisation.

"It was just a bunch of things that fell into place at the right time," says Aaron Clark, a Bourgeois Pig bartender who recently married his longtime girlfriend Rohina Rubicz in a quick courthouse ceremony and flew off to France. "We knew that we wanted to be married; we just weren't sure how we were going to do it."

The couple's spontaneous plan stemmed from Aaron's general distaste for large traditional weddings - particularly the high costs involved and the tendency to focus on attendants other than the bride and groom.

"I've been in weddings and it just seemed so stressful," Clark says. "My sister had a huge wedding out on the east coast and she doesn't even remember the day before and the day after ... She was so worried about things being just right that she just blanked the whole thing."

For the most part, the trip was everything Aaron and Rohina expected it to be. The couple spent 13 days at a picturesque chateau in the Paris countryside and even had a formal ceremony to commemorate their marriage. Sure, they dropped $10,000 - but that's still half what they easily could have spent to have a full-service wedding at home.

In the end, however, the impulsive nature of Aaron and Rohina's marriage also came with a slew of complications. Though they initially planned the marriage as a true elopement, their concerns about possible reactions from family and friends caused them to leak the plan before they left. As a result, Rohina's family made a surprise appearance in Paris.

Through the couple certainly didn't resent the company, Aaron admits he wishes he done a little more planning so his family could have made the trip as well.

"Tell everyone or tell no one," he advises. "Because if you start to tell a few people, then other people are going to get upset."

Pure thriftiness

If all couples approached marriage like Aaron and Rohina did, then Pure Elegance Bridal Salon owner Carla Shutak would likely be out of business. Though Shutak depends on formal wedding sales and rentals, she admits a certain amount of empathy with those who skip the process entirely.

"You wouldn't believe some of the things we see here," Shutak says. "It can get really, really stressful, especially for mothers if they didn't have the wedding that they wanted. They try and live their dreams through their children - sometimes very vehemently."

Shutak's own $40,000 wedding in Hawaii proves she's no dumpster-diver when it comes to tying the knot. As she's quickly discovered, however, big money is the exception rather than the rule when it comes to Lawrence's wedding patterns.

"Kansas is extremely thrifty," Shutak says. "I think that's just a Midwest thing, because of the farming influence ... once you get to the East coast, people spend a lot more."

Last February, Shutak attempted to sponsor a bridal fashion show in Lawrence. She advertised on her store's website, took out ads in the newspaper - and didn't sell a single ticket. One explanation she theorizes is that future brides and grooms are doing more and more bargain-hunting online.

"They can go to eBay and buy a wedding gown," she says. "It may not be the gown of their dreams, but it cost $20 and they're really excited."

DIY brides

The thrifty inclinations of modern brides and grooms are understandable given today's average all-inclusive wedding cost: $20,000.

In lieu of hiring wedding planners, Lawrence soon-to-be-weds like Bailey Kivett and Justin Marable are designing their own special days. Instead of buying a wedding cake, they're employing artist friend Hollie Rice to build a ceramic one; instead of a DJ, they're hiring a local old-timey band, The Lonesome Hobos.

"I can totally see how you can spend $20,000, but I think it's crazy for one day when you're just starting out," says Kivett, who recently left her post as co-owner of the Olive Gallery to pursue a masters degree in secondary education.

"Justin is going to be an artist, I'm looking for a teaching job and my parents aren't loaded," she says. "I'd like a down payment for a house."

The couple's $5,000 budget will go mostly towards a tent and BBQ catering. The rest - from flowers to pot-luck desserts to the hand-sewn wedding dress - will depend on the kindness of friends.

"I definitely wouldn't say I settled on any account," Kivett says. "I'd much rather have Hollie's ceramic cake for the rest of my life ... wedding cakes never even taste that good."

Even those adhering to wedding conventions can find bargains. Lawrence couple Ginny and Bryan Eardley spruced up their traditional church wedding with flowers from the Dollar Tree.

"We probably spent only $25," says Ginny, who works at NCS Pearson. "People spend like $300 on flowers and more and I think that's ridiculous..."

"I used mine for the centerpiece on my Christmas dinner table."

Ginny also pinched pennies by borrowing Christmas decorations to spruce up the reception, designing her own headpiece and buying 50 cent boxes of cake mix from Wal-Mart for the wedding cake. By spending only $3,000 on her wedding, she was able to put money in the bank towards a honeymoon in England.

"It's just something where you have to learn how to budget and you have to shop around and have patience," she says. "Everything was exactly how I wanted it. But I didn't have to take out a loan or have my Dad take out a loan to pay for my dream to come true."