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Good: It ends quick

Bad: Arrows, krystals, arrows, krystals:

Recommended for fans of: Magical British manatees

I should probably preface this review with an important piece of information: I am probably not the target audience for Shamu's Deep Sea Adventures. Some 7-year old kid that's obsessed with jellyfish, whales, and mindblowingly simplistic gameplay might love this title. Personally, I've had more fun doing laundry.

As you may have guessed, you play as Shamu throughout this magical, fantastic journey that consists of moving the famous whale where arrows point him. Yep, that's pretty much it. In most levels, the objective is to collect X many "Kraken Krystals". Sure, some will feature the whale unlocking doors or chasing/running away from a giant squid, but it almost always comes back to collecting Krystals and following arrows. In the missions where the squid is pursuing you, it's just a matter of waiting for the arrow to show up, then you move in that direction. Rinse and repeat. I literally beat several entire levels with one hand while I ate a sandwich with the other. It's also worth noting that the sandwich lasted longer than three entire missions.

Anyone who isn't 3 or developmentally disabled should be able to beat the game in around three hours or less. It's not a good sign when the "Percentage Complete" number is higher than the number for "minutes played". The ease of this game is ridiculous, so much so that there are actually giant flashing neon arrows that read "THIS WAY!" or "BREAK THESE ROCKS!" every two seconds. In fact, it's probably a good thing that these arrows are present, because every single level looks identical to the one prior. Colorful coral, seaweed, and angry jellyfish and eels are everywhere. They're also everywhere in the next level:..and the next one:..and the next.

Shamu can collect Krill for health and air bubbles for Oxygen. He can also learn new moves, none of which are particularly interesting. The whole time, a magical British manatee named Horacio is yelling at Shamu and telling you what to do (I can't believe I just typed that sentence). If that wasn't enough, get used to the "You Collected a Kraken Krystal!" text to show up onscreen every single time you pick one up, in case you forgot somehow.

There are tons of collectible relics, postcards, and other generic shiny things underwater. If you feel like it, you can try to get 100% of these, but I can't imagine anyone having that much patience for this title. Actual photos of SeaWorld creatures are unlockable, which are genuinely more interesting than the gameplay in Shamu's Deep Sea Adventures. Avoid at all costs.

Graphics: D+

Sound: C-

First Play: D-

Last Play: F

Gameplay: F

Overall: 58% F