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Good: It's semi-playable...I guess

Bad: Lack of modes and stages, no online opponents, embarrassingly pubescent, music

Characters inspired by: Internet porn

If you thought Dead or Alive reeked of pubescent design, you haven't seen Rumble Roses. The scantily-clad and overly sexual (and fetishistic) characters in Konami's wrestler make the DOA girls seem like Amish women by comparison.

This focus on "sexy," big-breasted polygonal women completely takes over the game. Whereas Dead Or Alive actually had some competent gameplay, Rumble Roses XX is all about boobs, boobs, boobs. I've said it before, and I'll say it again leave this crap out of videogames. It's not that I'm against scantily-clad women by any means, it's just that it's ridiculously pathetic that a game's entire purpose is to ogle videogame women. RRXX even features a photo-shoot mode in which you can use ribbons and hearts to frame the picture while you choose poses for the women.

Upon loading the game up, you're forced to pick a character before even trying any of them out in exhibition matches. Each girl is taken straight out of cheesy porn cliches: the Naughty Nurse, Naughty Cop, Naughty Teacher, Naughty Student, etc. You get the idea. After choosing, you're taken to the extremely clunky and poorly-designed menu system. There are only five venues to fight in, and you can't choose your opponent.

After choosing a stage, you're presented with a video of your character doing some "sexy" activity or entrance. The schoolteacher does a desktop striptease, the naughty student plays a rock song and every entrance features constant camera zooms on the breasts, ass, and crotch. It's almost embarrassing to watch.

Once the match starts, it won't take long to see how shallow the gameplay is. To say that it resembles a watered-down Smackdown would be to give it too much credit. It's not the broken game that Wrestlemania 21 was, but it honestly features less depth than WCW vs NWO World Tour for the Nintendo 64. Hell, even WWF Royal Rumble for the Genesis has this one beat. The controls are comprised of running, striking, and grappling. Every match is a bore and the AI is completely incompetent. Your CPU opponent will enter and exit the ring without reason and mindlessly run back and forth against the ropes. It's useless to try to execute aerial attacks from the turnbuckle, because the collision detection causes you to inexplicably miss more often than not. There are also instances in which the game won't allow you to pin for some mystery reason.

There are a few different match types: Standard, Tag Battle, PHM (pure humiliation match), Queen's Match, Battle Royal and Street Fight. PHM matches can only be won with a "Humiliation Move," which is a submission hold that usually involves spanking the other wrestler or putting them into some crotch-to-face style hold. Street Fight plays like the worst version of Tekken you've ever seen. You win by depleting the opponent's health bar and you must win 2 of 3 bouts.

Queen's Matches are the epitome of what this game represents. Prior to the match, you must choose a "punishment" for the losing girl. Some options: the other girl must act like a kitten and wash her face, dive for chips in a swimming pool (while wearing a bikini), do a "sexy pose" or get tickled by the winner. During all of this, you can maneuver the camera and watch this play out.

At no point does the game present you with a clear career mode or any sort of objective. It is technically possible to earn a title shot with each girl, but there is absolutely no indication of how to achieve this. I played over 80 matches with the same character on every arena and mode, and maintained a maximum "popularity level" the entire time. Still:..no title shot.

On the technical end, Rumble Roses XX isn't as embarrassingly bad as the rest of the game. Character models look good and the animations are top-notch. On the other hand, the ring looks way too small and the isometric angle is annoying. Sound effects are about par for the course and all of the music is the definition of generic cheese rock.

There is Xbox Live support, but I tried at numerous different times of day and couldn't find a single person to play against. I tried it all Player Match, Ranked Match, Custom Match, Quick Play, etc. Not once did I find an online opponent.

I don't dislike this game because I have some holier-than-thou moral objection to scantily-clad women. Hell, I love a night at the strip club as much as any guy. My problem is this Rumble Roses XX is a videogame. Videogames are supposed to have good gameplay. It's extremely clear that the T&A factor took a huge precedence over the fun factor, and that's the ultimate flaw of the game. Gameplay is shallow and laziness in development is evident (right down to the misspellings during loading menus). If you consider yourself a gamer, this is not a title for you. This is a title for 13-year old boys who apparently haven't discovered the resources of the internet. You'd be better off watching scrambled Cinemax.

Graphics: B-

Sound: C+

First Play: D-

Last Play: F

Gameplay: D-

Overall: 60% D-