Monday, October 30, 2006
Good: Steeler's Wheel
Bad: Everything else
Prime Example Of: Why games based on movies are a bad idea
I'm convinced that the people who greenlight crap like this are the same people that greenlight crap like White Chicks. Reservoir Dogs feels less like an actual videogame and more like an early project by a DigiPen student.
Reservoir Dogs, the film, is obviously fantastic. Filled with extraordinary dialogue and harsh bursts of violence, it inspired countless Tarantino wannabes in the years to follow. Reservoir Dogs, the game, is the definition of a generic shooter.
You assume control of each of the main characters from the film, and get to see how they all escaped from the heist-gone-awry at Karina's Diamond Shop. Apparently, they all ran down uninteresting alleyways and shot at braindead policemen. The A.I. is so bad that they'll occasionally throw grenades AWAY from you.
A veritable collection of cliches is present on the game disc, ranging from underdeveloped "bullet time" to randomly-placed-exploding-barrel syndrome.
The developers tried to break up the monotony with a few driving missions, but these are even worse than the shooter sections. These missions are as bare-boned as they come, involving driving from point A to point B without losing all of your health.
Reservoir Dogs is one ugly game. In-game character models would have been considered horrendous even if this was a PS2 launch game. Considering it's arriving near the end of the system's lifespan, this is completely inexcusable. Michael Madsen is the only member of the cast that lends his voice and likeness to the game, so everyone but Mr. Blonde looks nothing like their film counterparts.
The audio also suffers from the lack of the original actors. Everyone sounds pretty bland and uninterested, sans a semi-decent Steve Buscemi impression. Mr. Orange's cries of "Freeze motherfucker!" and "Spread 'em, bitch!" sound as menacing as a trash-talking 14-year old on Xbox Live.
Super Sounds Of The 70s is brought back for the game, and it's perhaps the only enjoyable aspect. You don't get to hear Steven Wright's dry intros, but the classic songs from the film are included.
If you loved the film, stay the hell away from this game. If you hated the film, stay the hell away from this game. If you've never even heard of the film, stay the hell away from this game.
First Play: 5.0
Replay Value: 4.5