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Good: N/A

Bad: Ridiculous attempt to be "hard-edged," extremely limited options, no save points, terrible new FPB mode

A $49.99 price tag: For less fun than 25 cents will get you playing Galaga at Harbour Lights

Bomberman Act: Zero is a bad game, and you shouldn't play it.

Now that you know that, I'd highly recommend you stop reading this review and do something more productive. Playing the actual game is a terrible waste of time, therefore reading about it is even moreso. Read a book, watch a DVD, listen to the new Bob Dylan album, just do ANYTHING other than play Bomberman Act: Zero.

For those that feel like sticking around for some reason, I might as well tell you why it's terrible. First of all, if you're an old-school Bomberman fan, you'll absolutely hate the way they've raped the character and overall feel and look of the classic series. Bomberman is no longer the likable cartoon figure you grew up with, he's now a ridiculous looking "badass" robot. Imagine if they made a Mario game where he looks like Vin Diesel with a mustache and a red hat, and you'll have sort of an idea of how bad of an idea this was.

There is virtually no story whatsoever to justify this new look, just an opening title sequence and laughable load screens like "I woke up in a cold, dark basement. Is this a dream, or could it be reality?"

Three modes are available: World Battle, Single Battle FPB, and Single Player Standard. World Battle is online play, but you're going to have a hell of a hard time finding people to play against. Over half of the times I tried to get into online matches, I just sat there and waited for several minutes waiting for people to join. In the instance you find a couple people to play against, the game lacks any sort of lag, but also any semblance of fun.

Single Battle Standard presents Bomberman in the standard "top-down" view, and your objective is simply to destroy enemy robots with bombs. "Soft blocks" litter the square gamefield, and can be destroyed en route to your enemy. Power-ups include penetrating bombs, line bombs, remote control bombs, as well as various speed and quantity upgrades.

Single Battle FPB, on the other hand, is almost unplayable. The camera is controlled with the right analog stick, and it's ridiculously hard to get a good view of the playing field. A life bar system is also included in lieu of the standard one-hit kills.

It's awful enough simply going through the Single Battle stages, but it's made even worse thanks to the fact that there is absolutely no save system whatsoever. There are 99 stages, and if you die, it's back to square one every single time.

Act: Zero claims to have a create-a-character mode, but this apparently translates into "pick a gender and a color."

So basically, this title features an online mode that you can't even play thanks to a lack of competition, an absolutely atrocious new FPB mode, and a semi-playable but still terrible Standard mode.

While the characters look terrible, the environments are simply boring. All of the stages look drab, dreary, and utterly devoid of any life or personality. Sound effects are muffled and uninteresting.

I remember getting a Konami booth tour at E3 back in May, and I was walked right past all the Metal Gear Solid information that I desperately wanted, and straight to a Bomberman Act: Zero booth. The Konami employee explained to me that they were going for a more "hard-edged" look for Bomberman. The very first thing to pop into my mind was "Oh my god that's stupid," but I remained polite and told myself I'd wait for the game to come out to judge it too harshly.

Now that the game is out, it's very safe to say that it isn't worth playing even for the most hardcore Bomberman fan. Honestly, it would barely be worth it as a $5 Xbox Live Arcade title. Charging $49.99 for this piece of underdeveloped rubbish is absolutely laughable.

Graphics: 3.5

Sound: 3.5

First Play: 3.0

Replay Value: 2.5

Gameplay: 3.0

Overall: 2.9