Lawrence.com

QuickView

Good: The Bad list was easy to come up with

Bad: Everything

Ideas for Rengoku 3: Don't

Rengoku sucked. Rengoku 2 sucks. The fact that it rips off a Led Zeppelin classic for its title doesn't help. The game still sucks, sucks, and sucks some more. Allow me to elaborate.

First and least importantly, there's the sheer sucktitude of the story: something about an Autonomous Dueling Armed Machine (Get it? A.D.A.M.! Just like the biblical figure, lol!) trapped in a battle arena called a Rengoku tower having to battle his way out to find the meaning of life. From the title to the characters' names, the game is chalk full of bible references. Something tells me that even God hates this game.

Second, we have the gameplay itself, which boils down to a mindless third-person run and gun. The controls are simple and sloppy. The directional pad rotates you and moves you forward and backward, while the four main buttons correspond to the weapon systems on your head, arms, and torso. You can also lock onto enemies using the left shoulder button and strafe around them. That's about it. Gameplay consists of going room to room, killing a handful of enemies, and then moving on to the next same-looking room. It's not fun. This game really sucks.

Things aren't made better by the horrible level design. The levels are nothing but giant mazes of corridors and big rooms. How anyone could make it to the second level without getting bored is beyond me. Scenery is kept to a minimum and the rooms themselves are bland, boxy, boring, bland, etc. You would probably find more variety in exploring a cardboard box.

The AI is also idiotic. Enemies move in sporadic little circles as if they are just waiting for you to kill them. Firefights boil down to simply strafing around enemies and hoping that your weapon systems are superior.

Speaking of which, I guess the game's character customization system warrants mention. Throughout your travels, you'll pick up a variety of weapons and items (over 300, if you care) that you can equip on the various parts of your body. To do so, you have to visit special terminals throughout the tower. Additionally, you collect a form of currency called Elixir Skin that allows you to purchase upgrades to your character's systems. These upgrades include things like increasing your health, defenses, and weapon slots. Sadly enough, it's about the most interesting part of the game.

In terms of replay, the single-player portion should last you a few hours, which is likely more time than you'll want to put in. The game also features multiplayer for up to four players, if you have friends who hate themselves as much as you do.

The game's graphics are one of its stronger areas, but that's kind of like picking the best piece of shit out of a pile of shit. The character models themselves are OK, but they're so small on screen that it's really hard to pick up on any detail. Then there's the stupid running animation, the underwhelming weapon effects, the ugly levels, the unsteady framerate, and the piss-poor art direction. Try equipping your character's head with a pistol. It will literally have a revolver sticking out of its face. Words simply can't describe how stupid this looks.

If I somehow still haven't dissuaded you from picking this up, then at least do me a favor and play it on mute. The music is pure techno cheese, looped to the point of nausea. The sound effects are timid, barely audible, and pretty bad. Not that it would have saved anything, but the exclusion of voice-overs is kind of baffling too. Oh well, one less thing this game has to suck at.

I don't think I've included enough suck's in this article to really emphasize just how much this game sucks. Its name sucks, its graphics suck, its sound sucks, its gameplay sucks, it sucks.

Graphics: 4.0

Sound: 3.0

First Play: 3.0

Replay Value: 4.0

Gameplay: 2.0

Overall: 3.4