Townie guide to... getting hitched

Townie guide to... getting hitched

Erin Kidwell (soon to be Erin Pfannenstiel), Watson Library Assistant and Reference Desk Goddess

Years in Lawrence: 8

You're getting married soon-is this just an effort to rub it in with the gays? Or is living in sin not doing it for you anymore?

"Gay men love me whether I'm married or not! Living in sin has been great, but I'm looking to really trap Joel in this relationship for the long-haul. I've looked into actual ball and chain sets but they're far too expensive. For now, marriage works. All kidding aside, I love the guy and this is just the next step we wanted to take in our relationship. We both wanted to be married someday and this seemed like a good time to do it."

Are you registered anywhere? Will you accept booze and Chinese babies as gifts?

"We're registered at Target for all the house-supplies and with Angelina Jolie for the entirety of our orphan needs. We will always accept booze, but since we're both booze snobs this may result in booze re-gifting if we don't like what was given to us. Our overall strategy on registering at Target was to make our home the most kick-ass place possible. Thus, we registered for all sorts of Wii-related materials and a big-screen TV. Unfortunately, we aren't patient enough to wait for others to buy these things for us and we already bought a big-screen TV. Being in our living room is going to be like sitting in a drive-in theater. I can't wait."

Is it best for the fiance to stay out of the way during this whole thing? Do you give him a pacifier and nudie mag and tell him to sit in the corner while arrangements are made?

"Oh heck no-I put his ass to work! Basically, he told me a while back to just give him a laundry list of things he needed to get done and he'd do them. He's done a pretty darn good job so as a reward he might get more to do. I've been told by guys I know that he has done way more than they would have done. Thankfully, I'm not marrying them. Joel was mostly in charge of designing our wedding invitations and did a marvelous job."

How do you manage the stress during this process? Taking it out on animals and/or relatives?

"I've only had about one episode of total bridezilla breakdown. Otherwise, having my mom help out has been completely great and has kept me from destroying things. My mom is an amazingly organized and level-headed person, so unlike people who complain that their mom was a big pain in the butt when it came to the wedding, I can rely on her to give honest and excellent advice. Thanks Mom!"

How best to handle the mingling of the two families-cattle prods?

"Joel and I come from seriously different families of origin in regard to most everything. It has been interesting mixing the two families, but so far everything is A-OK. I will continue to keep my fingers crossed that we won't have to have hand-to-hand combat or caged death-matches in the future when Joel and I start having babies."

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Will you have an elaborate ceremony?

"Nope. We wanted simple so we're going with Danforth Chapel. I really would like to keep the ceremony less than 20 minutes. Thank God Joel is a former Catholic and not a practicing one."

Are you using any local businesses or planners to help organize the event?

"The only local business that has any real part in the wedding is the Jackpot Saloon. We went a little unconventional and decided to have an after-party following the reception where local bands are going to play. This gives us a chance to party without worrying about ruining my dress and the rented tuxes. It also gives us a chance to be a bit more rowdy than would be allowed at the reception proper."

Will there be drinking at the reception? Are you anticipating stomach-turning hook-ups between the two wedding parties? Maybe cat-fights between the flower girls?

"There will be a complimentary keg at the reception for all my boozy friends and family. There will also be a cash bar. I don't care how many websites say having a cash bar at a wedding reception seems cheap. I'm not about to liquor up 150 people on our budget. I'm hoping this keeps the stomach-turning hook-ups in the wedding party to a minimum as all are either married or dating others."

Will there be a honeymoon? Will you go someplace where you might get an exotic parasite? And that's not a euphemism for getting pregnant...

"The honeymoon was going to be in Japan, originally. Things sort of changed throughout the year it has taken to plan this shindig and we've decided to wait on Japan for a little while. Instead, we're probably going to Florida to visit Joel's older sister. We figure we can go on a little mini-cruise while we're out there so the chance of picking up a parasite is pretty high. I'll name it Gavon as a tribute to your decision to interview me."

I'm honored. Any further advice for those who might be thinking about taking the plunge?

"First, make a budget and stick to it. Secondly, don't sweat the small stuff because things will always work out in the end. Thirdly, don't let your family or friends try to tell you what you should and shouldn't do at your wedding, because it's your day and it should be about your wants and needs. Don't let other people dictate what is supposed to be the best day of your life. Lastly, don't buy a house and move into it the weekend after your wedding as we're planning on doing. It's a bad idea and will only add to your stress. Actually, we're quite excited about it, but overall-bad idea."

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