Lawrence.com

In an adorable pairing likely to induce diabetic shock, the Nintendo Wii and small furry animals are being combined for an insulin-eradicated good time. The Lawrence Humane Society will be holding a Wii bowling tournament to raise money for its many critters, and some of those critters will even be on hand to inspire you to spay and neuter the competition. Taking something so undeniably fun-virtual bowling with the hottest video game console on the planet-to prevent something so undeniably not fun-dead puppies-is the inspired brain child of longtime Humane Society booster Jim Schilling. Schilling pitched the idea to the Humane Society as part of a fieldwork organization class he's taking, and it quickly found a willing host in Paddy O'Quigley's. Prizes will be available for the top 10 pin savants, the grand prize being a basketball autographed by the KU men's team. Yes, that KU men's basketball team. Jim Schilling joined us to talk about the Wii bowling tournament and had the decency not to make a single pun involving either the Wii's name or bowling terminology.

lawrence.com: What's your preferred Wii bowling technique-wrist twisting or just moving left or right to compensate?

Jim Schilling: I found that moving to the right a little bit and then adding a slight leftward wrist twist at the end works best.

Any other Wii games to be played at the tournament?

We're going to keep it at just bowling this time around, but in the future we might have a "Friday Night Fights" with Wii boxing.

No "Smash Brothers"? Although I guess it might be antithetical to the Humane Society's ethos to have cuddly Nintendo mascots beating the hell out of each other. Will people be able to bring their Miis?

I thought about that, but to keep it as fair as possible we'll keep it to generic Miis that are on the system. If somebody has attained "Professional" with their character, it seems like they'd have a little bit of an unfair advantage. We'll keep it as even as possible.

Will people be able to make a Mii there, or would that gum up the works? Especially if somebody's getting complicated and trying to make Admiral Ackbar from "Return of the Jedi."

We'll see how many people show up, but we'll probably have to move things along as quickly as possible.

There'll be beer, right? Because-as with real bowling-Wii bowling just isn't the same without beer.

That's right! Yes, beer will be available there.

Why is it important to raise money for the Humane Society?

Their biggest thing is supplies-blankets, food, paper towels, cleaning supplies and things like that. If I can raise even a little bit of money and say, "Go do with it what you need," then I'll feel like I've done something that's beneficial.

Being a Humane Society event, will the losers of the competition be euthanized?

No, I think the humiliation of being beaten at a video game in public will be enough.

Since the grand prize is a basketball autographed by the KU team, are you going to need tasers to keep people away?

If we need to put people in some of the pens that the Humane Society brings, we can do that. »