:Cranky Uncle Pete edition!

Monday, March 31, 2008

Former KU football standout Charles Gordon, now a cornerback for the Minnesota Vikings, once bowled a 244, he tells Breaking News. It was his high score. The next game, he bowled 244 again. He has yet to replicate the feat.

"I played basketball at the rec a couple times, and this guy came up to me," continues Gordon, who's finishing his business management degree this semester at KU. "He goes, 'You're in my biology lab.' I was like, 'Yeah,' whatever. We were playing a game, and I guess another guy told him, 'Yo, that's Charles Gordon,' so then he comes back up to me. He's like, 'Oh my God, I didn't realize it's you. I'm sorry.'"

BN: Why was he sorry?

CG: He kept saying that he was sorry. I don't know.

Gordon reports: "Some people don't believe it's me. Some people believe I'm bigger than what I am, I guess. I had one guy tell me his friend thought it wasn't me. I had to be a different Charles Gordon because I'm small, or something like that. I've met some people with some weird things going through their heads."


Charles Gordon

As a rookie for the Vikings, he notes, he was saddled with the task of getting chicken for the veteran defensive backs. He also had to help set up and break down a temporary wall used during team meetings. Also, he likes to play Nintendo Wii.

In other news, Breaking News received another entry in its ongoing Essay Contest (send entries to, from one Uncle Pete Tankard. Tankard, of the Dallas area, writes:

Frank, I did not see any rules in your contest barring family members so I thought I would participate.

I have not lived in Lawrence since 1983. Following 4 years in college I graduated on a Sunday got up Monday morning put Lawrence in my rearview mirror and started my worklife at 8:00am on Monday morning. Now it seems people stay in college forever, perhaps graduate eventually, and then stay in Lawrence drinking $5 cups of coffee, eating granola, and listening to mediocre music. I would propose limiting residency in Lawrence to the same standards as collegiate athletic eligibility. It should be limited to 4 years (no redshirts). If people want sit around and smoke a hookah move to Amsterdam. Let's keep Kansas for Kansans.

Your Cranky Uncle, Pete

P.S. are the T-shirts you're giving out American made? If not take mine wad it up in a ball, hang it from a string, light it on fire, and chant anti-Globalization slogans as it burns.

-All facts in this story are real. Got a breaking news tip? Email Frank Tankard at Keep on rockin' in the LK!