BREAKING NEWS
…storm from the shelter edition!!!!
Monday, May 26, 2008
Trees shook. Rain fell. Thunder crashed. The electricity went off. It was the earliest hours of Saturday, May 24, in Lawrence, Kansas, U.S.A.
Know what sounds good right now? Salami. Oh, sorry reader, are you a vegetarian? If so, can you not relate? Or does salami sometimes still sound good?
One additional thing to contemplate. If someone locked you in a room with paints in all the primary colors and said you had to invent a new color, do you think you could do it? What would you call it? If the name was predetermined, and that name was “zoimmm,” would that affect the color you came up with?
In other news, two young men, Matt Dolly and Pat Barger, learned the ABCs backwards while driving back to Lawrence from Wichita, where they’d gone to play what they’d heard was the best frisbee golf course in Kansas.
Photo by Frank Tankard
Barger, actually, already knew the ABCs backwards. He taught Dolly to learn it, to the tune of the regular “now I know my ABCs” song, except instead of saying that at the end, you say, “now I know my backward ABCs.” (Shouldn’t it be “ZYXs”? Perhaps “Xs” is too difficult to say.) Long story short, they missed their exit and somehow ended up an hour into Nebraska.
And now, for the delight of thee, the latest semi-regular Breaking News feature: QUOTATIONS OF THE WEEK. Exhibit A comes from Bard College faculty member Amy Sillman, as quoted in the May issue of the New Yorker. It was advice that artist Paul Chan recalled as being the most useful he had received: “Paul, it’s clear that you’re very bright, but dumb people make great work too.”
Quote number two comes from Edgar Allan Poe’s poem “Annabel Lee”:
It was many and many a year ago,
In a kingdom by the sea,
That a maiden there lived whom you may know
By the name of Annabel Lee;
And this maiden she lived with no other thought
Than to love and be loved by me.
Lastly, as Bob Dylan once sang in “Absolutely Sweet Marie”: “To live outside the law, you must be honest.”
el fin.
—All facts in this story are real. Got a breaking news tip? Email Frank Tankard at frank@lawrence.com. Have you worn the flipper? Seven!
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