Townie guide to... 'weening yourself

Paul Santos, director, producer, puppeteer who enjoys "Rock Band 2," comics, freaking out downtown people with a giant pink monster costume, making out

Halloween is nigh. What's coolest about it-the fact that it's the coolest holiday, or the fact that other holidays are not the coolest? Is it the rampant Wiccan sacrilegious orgiastic hedonism? Vomiting Kit-Kats into Jack-o-lanterns? How has Halloween climbed to the summit of the holiday heap and made Easter its bitch?

"I think Halloween is so appealing because people get to be someone else for a couple of nights. No other holiday really allows you to celebrate that. People also get to be creative and not feel weird about dressing up like some really obscure character from long ago. Oh, and the candy. The Easter part is kind of easy because Easter is every holiday's bitch-even Thanksgiving makes Easter its bitch. So Halloween didn't really have to work that hard."

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Paul Santos

What's your advice for crafting the perfect costume? How are you personally going about assembling your S&M; Sarah Palin costume?

"Learn how to sow, and if you don't, find someone who can. Time is usually good to make sure it's not a piece of crap. The last part is a leading question-I don't look good in leather."

What's the best costume you've ever worn? What's the best costume you've ever seen?

"The most original was when I went as George Romero with two zombie puppets at each side. As for the best, my buddy Ben Rumback made a Bender costume that blew my mind."

Halloween parties-excuses for freaky hook-ups between Darth Vader and a Care Bear? What's the recipe for a good Halloween party?

"Halloween parties are a great place to find out how twisted or boring you really are. As for the recipe, start with good music-no 'Monster Mash' crap. Good friends are a must and drinks and food are a plus. Find a cool location for the party, like a deserted church, a deserted asylum, or a deserted comic book store."

Are the haunted houses in Kansas City worth the trip or are they an anti-climactic money suck? Is it more cost effective and scary to just visit the Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka?

"Well, it depends on why you're going. If you're looking for a genuine scare, then they're not worth it. But if you're going with a partner who is easily scared and will be grabbing the nearest thing to them-i.e., you-then it could be a pretty cool time."

Best scary movie to watch on Halloween?

"That Al Gore movie."

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