It's time once again, dear readers, to (1) conceal your true identities, (2) meet up with others doing likewise, and (3) request "treats" and/or imbibe freely. To facilitate your speedy progression on to phase 3 of your Halloween celebrations, we avail these special fun-time masks. Please follow instructions carefully to avoid accidental maiming, etc. Have fun!

What you'll need:

- Scissors

- Rubber band, elastic, or string.

- A good stiff piece of chipboard ( recommends a Hamm's or Old Style box - the kreusening adds increased durability).

- Some sort of adhesive. ( recommends 3M 77 as the best choice for strength and avoiding wrinkles and stiffness, and its high toxicity adds to the Halloween scariness!)

How to make a scary mask:

1) Roughly cut out the mask(s) of your choice. You'll trim it more carefully later. And don't cut out the eyes yet! Or the eyes on the mask!

2) Spray / brush the adhesive of your choice onto the back of your mask.

3) Place mask (glue side down) onto chipboard.

4) Place under weight until adhesive dries (consult glue packaging for product specifications. You'll have to get your face right up to the nozzle in order to read the tiny print.)

5) When dry, carefully trim around mask, cut out eyes (while laughing maniacally), and punch out holes where string, elastic, or rubber band will go.

6) Affix string, elastic, or rubber band to holes.

7) Commence frightening.

(Masks are PDF files. Free Acrobat required)

Vintage fun-time masks

2007 editions
Iranian President Mahmoud "Don't call me gay" Ahmadinejad

U.S. Presidential Hopeful Hillary "Bill's my b*tch" Clinton

The deranged mutation of City Commissioners Mike Dever and Rob Chestnut - known only as "DevNut"

KU Basketball Legend Wilt "The Stilt" Chamberlain

2006 editions
U.S. President G(e)orge "on human flesh" W. Bush

North Korea's Dear Leader Kim Jong "bind, torture, and ki-" Il

KU Women's Basketball Coach Bonnie "I know what you did with Clyde's body last summer" Henrickson

Lawrence City Manager Dave "Corpse Lips" Corliss

Special off-season edition
Legendary KU Sportscaster Max Falkenstein

2005 editions
KU Football Coach Mark "Wolf" Mangino

Lawrence City Commissioner Mike "Yike!" Rundle

U.S. Supreme Court Nominee Harriet "I'm Frighteningly Unqualified" Miers

Missouri Men's Basketball Coach Quin "Along Came A" Snyder

2004 editions
Kansas Gov. Kathleen Se-boo!-lius

Lawrence City Commissioner Boog-eyman Highberger

Lew Perkins

KU Men's Basketball Coach "Careful With That Axe Or You May Hurt Your" Self


dave 16 years, 9 months ago

I think Mangino's mask is missing a couple of chins.

klohrenz 15 years, 9 months ago

Why no Phill Kline mask? That'd be the spookiest.

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