Thursday, August 6, 2009
Birther 1: "Did you hear that Barack Obama was born in Kenya? The birth certificate in Hawaii that's been verified by numerous news agencies and even the Republican Governor of Hawaii is an obvious forgery. Don't even get me started on the patently fake birth announcement that was planted in a Hawaiian newspaper by Manchurian Candidate time travelers 48 years ago."
Birther 2: "Whatever, dude...I heard he wasn't even born at all. I heard that he's a hologram made up of billions of Communist Chinese nano-bots. And he's black."
Birther 1: "That's ludicrous. He's clearly a Mexican Free Mason werewolf who wants to eat our guns."
Birther 2: "You're crazy. Next thing you're going to say is that Barack Obama blew up the World Trade Center instead of the real culprits...George W. Bush and the reanimated corpse of the gerbil who died in Richard Gere's ass."
Birther 1: "Hey...let's not fight. Can't we at least agree he's not a legitimate president and we're terrified of colored people?"
Birther 2: "You're right, this isn't productive. Let's go listen to Lou Dobbs in the car that I sleep in."
Want to get in on some of that hot Birther action? Well, Lawrence's very own Blue Collar Press is here to help! These entrepreneurial youngsters have come up with a Kenyan Birth Certificate Generator to assist you with all of your conspiracy enthusiast needs. This public service is gaining national attention, so take advantage of it before the government sends their cyborg yeti brownshirts to shut it down and put us all in FEMA reeducation camps where they're going to kill our old people and grind them into sex lube for the gays!
Here's one I did for Ed Hardy:
And here's one for Batman (thank you, Matt Armstrong):
Be sure to make your own and post the results below!