Stories for February 2009

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Saturday, February 28

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Rygar: The Battle of Argus (Wii)

It's not a broken action game, but its age is blatantly obvious. The genre has advanced by leaps and bounds in the last six years, and Rygar seems downright archaic by today's standards.

Friday, February 27

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Mission Re-accomplished

Actual News Nugs*

Obama announces all troops out of Iraq by 2011, Haliburton applies for bailout money.

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Blowing Smoke Up Our Ass

Actual News Nugs*

Kansas House passes coal plant legislation, suffers hairy palms and blindness from repeated self pleasure.

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Band Name Generator

Actual News Nugs*

Using Wikipedia and Flickr to randomly crank out an album. So this is how Lil' Wayne does it...

Thursday, February 26

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Redistribution of Health

Actual News Nugs*

Comrade Obama proposes socialized medicine, eating of dissidents and infants soon to follow.

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Style Scout: Andrew Witt

Active, heart on sleeve.

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La Prima Ta-ta

Actual News Nugs*

A topless coffee shop. Work for tips? Makes you perky? Room for milk? Etc., etc.

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Style Scout: Jennifer Hunt

A stone cold fox

Wednesday, February 25

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Barack & Awe

Actual News Nugs*

President Obama addresses Congress, inspires nation. Governor Bobby Jindal offers rebuttal, frightens children.

Tuesday, February 24

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F.E.A.R. 2: Project Origin (360)

While the story may not be a masterpiece, the atmosphere and sense of dread F.E.A.R. 2 presents to the player makes it a perfect title to play late at night with the lights off and the sound up.

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Mardi Poopers

Actual News Nugs*

Hate to rain bullets on the parade, but....

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OU812

Actual News Nugs*

More like CHOKE-lahoma! Nyuk! Nyuk! *sigh* I'm dead inside...

Monday, February 23

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Fresh Fish

This local clothing designer may not be familiar to you... yet. But she will be very soon—just trust us.

Despite outweighing his owner, Ari Fish's giant dog quickly blends in to the designer's home and workspace—in a way not unlike her ability to incorporate big, disassociated ideas into her clothing design. As Tim Gunn might say, she makes it work.

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Save & Splurge: Isabel Boehms

One way to save is to flirt with a guy at a bar so that he'll buy you a drink. I've been guilty of that a few times.

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Townie guide to... bulging stimulative packages

First against the wall will be the rich and humorless.

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Balls Out

Kaw Valley Kickball returns with punning vengeance

The Kaw Valley Kickball League is embarking on its 8th year of free-balling.

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Terminator may or may not "be back"

Actual News Nugs*

Oklahoma stud Blake Griffin will not play in tonight's Big Monday matchup.

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Crying on cue

Songwriter Margo May shares her surreal American Idol experience

With her band the Honeybabes, May pens tunes that are memorable for all the right reasons: strong melodies, sincere lyrics, and crafty hooks.

Sunday, February 22

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Style Scout: Tricia Rock

I'm really inspired by people who take risks, like Mary Kate Olsen.

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Style Scout: Scott Starrett

I am micro-tactile phobic.

Saturday, February 21

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Afro Samurai (360)

Some actual work was put into making the combat and presentation interesting, which is a welcome surprise for a game based on a TV show.

Friday, February 20

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God Save the Queens

Actual News Nugs*

British gays, and Eddie Izzard, spared from Fred Phelps.

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CEO No You Di'int!

Actual News Nugs*

I said fraud damn!

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Commander in Leaf

Actual News Nugs*

Obama single-handedly doubles black population of Great White North.

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Ill. Communication

Actual News Nugs*

The taint of Roland Burris is deep and foul.

Thursday, February 19

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UPDATE! H&R Cock Block: State Edition

Actual News Nugs*

Kansas legislators grudgingly realize starving families are not a political winner.

Wednesday, February 18

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Barack and Awe: The First 100 Months

Actual News Nugs*

Homeowners are taking it in the butt, Obama unveils plug.

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BREAKING: Monkeys Periodically Unfunny

Actual News Nugs*

Like a clown with cancer.

Tuesday, February 17

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H&R Cock Block: State Edition

Actual News Nugs*

Sign the budget or your tax refund, and this kitten, are gonna get it.

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Package Stimulated

Actual News Nugs*

Giggity! Giggity!

Monday, February 16

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Used to Be

The sound and the fury of the life of Kirk Rundstrom

For someone who died two years ago, Kirk Rundstrom has had a hard time exiting the limelight.

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Buncha F Holes

Meet Lawrence's finest PBR-swillin', mushroom-huntin' punk-a-billy trio

The F Holes' big-buckin' blend of rockabilly, punk and southern-fried rock would be a hoot even without the sampled truck horns that replace naughty words ...

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Onward Christian Gamer

Video game designer answers higher call of duty in Lawrence

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. In the case of Matt Cox, it is also beset by Goombas, Octorocks, and alien Covenant.

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Townie guide to... couples' basketball

We typically paint our pugs crimson and blue and place them in a box. If they emerge to see their shadow, we can count on a Jayhawk victory!

Sunday, February 15

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Video Game Review Roundup

In this Roundup we take a look at Metal Slug 7, EndWar, Rise of the Argonauts, Naruto, and Spray.

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Style Scout: Richard Trinidad Garcia

I think of myself as an old man.

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Style Scout: Kristen Kinsch

I sleep naked.

Saturday, February 14

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Save & Splurge: Travis Canaday

I need to sell my plasma, but I usually end up just giving away my bodily fluids.

Friday, February 13

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Autistic License

Actual News Nugs*

Vaccinate your damn kids.

Thursday, February 12

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Gregg on Your Face

Actual News Nugs*

Judd Gregg pulls out prematurely, and that's not a quote from his wife.

Wednesday, February 11

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Proud Member of Jayhawk Detonation

Actual News Nugs*

And boom goes the dynamite.

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Spawn Artist

Actual News Nugs*

Baby making only sector of economy still surging.

Tuesday, February 10

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Video Game Review Roundup

In this roundup, we take a look at Skate 2, Mushroom Men, LOTR: Conquest, Moon, and Viva Pinata: Trouble in Paradise.

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KU Made Emo by MU

Actual News Nugs*

Tigers, known when they're cubs as "pussies," deliver whipping.

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Throw Another Continent on the Barbie

Actual News Nugs*

Wildfires ravage Australia, Yahoo Serious unfortunately alive.

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Type A-Rod Positive

Actual News Nugs*

Juicy.

Monday, February 9

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Flatfoot Hustlin'

From the streets of Jamaica to studying at KU—how reggae singer Ras Neville landed in Kansas

One would be hard-pressed to find a Lawrencian with a more thorough knowledge of Jamaica than Neville Brown. The singer spent his teenager years wandering around Kingston and tourist towns like Ocho Rios, performing on beaches and public streets to stay alive.

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Beyond the Bale: Update!

Actual News Nugs*

Bale explains un-Christian like behavior, plus a kid on drugs.

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Tatt’s Amore

Tattoos as the ultimate expression of love, or the ultimate reminder of a broken heart

The act of permanently marking oneself for the sake of affection no doubt strikes many as a bit extreme. But for those who do it that’s exactly the point—tattooing in the name of love might just be the ultimate expression of amore.

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Save & Splurge: Samantha Meissner

I’ll only get the $5 Hot-N-Ready pizza if I’m splitting the cost.

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Townie guide to… Surviving VD

Everyone I know who is in a relationship is glum, depressed, and in a general state of dismal unhappiness. Maybe it’s because they remember the good old days when they were free to guzzle beer, chase skirt, and fart.

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Style Scout: Brent Garcia

I'd like to see less rude neighbors, and less Oakley sunglasses.

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Style Scout: Jessica Molina

I can do mildly entertaining magic tricks.

Sunday, February 8

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Reach Out and Douche Someone

Interview with Lawrence performers serves as fair warning to would-be attendees of their "cuddle party"

This shadowy cabal of “musicians” has been plaguing the Lawrence music scene for 10 years, and they’re resurfacing on Valentine’s Day for a triumphant reunion/pajama cuddle party. Imagine early Nirvana crossbred with dead baby jokes, and you have an idea of the smothering Sonic Douche embrace.

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Buy your own damn fries!

Actual News Nugs*

"Hope" is a four letter word.

Saturday, February 7

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FML

Actual News Nugs*

Like Twitter for the socially retarded.

Friday, February 6

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No Comment

Actual News Nugs*

Seriously...the headline says it all.

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Drop Dead Fred

Actual News Nugs*

The only Phelps more impaired than Michael.

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Haley to the Chief

Actual News Nugs*

The only job worse than President.

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Great Depression II: Depress Harder

Actual News Nugs*

The fierce urgency of Sham Wow!!!

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The Reconstruction Will Not Be Televised

Unraveling Lawrence’s most explosive underground newspaper, 40 years later

Forty years ago this month, a group of Lawrence radicals published the first issue of what has to be Lawrence’s most incendiary newspaper to date.

Thursday, February 5

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Etta Vendetta

Actual News Nugs*

Booty-vicious.

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UnFairey

Actual News Nugs*

If you've ever looked at the image to the right, the AP now owns your eyeballs.

Wednesday, February 4

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Silent Hill: Homecoming (360)

Silent Hill: Homecoming doesn't feel new enough to reinvigorate the series, and it doesn't contain the same psychological fear factor of the older titles to satisfy longtime fans.

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Snit Parade

Actual News Nugs*

Area protest turns sexy.

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Busting A Cap On Their Ass

Actual News Nugs*

Obama bones bonuses.

Tuesday, February 3

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Kommie Kitties

Actual News Nugs

A Stalinist Purr.

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Barack and Awe: The First 100 Months

Actual News Nugs*

Eric Holder and Judd Gregg know how to file their damn taxes.

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Dasched Dreams

Actual News Nugs*

He apparently didn't have people.

Monday, February 2

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Dead Hair Day

The Dead Girls gear up for a big year with new EP, roast beef sandwiches

By the end of 2009, The Dead Girls will have released two EPs, an album and a whole lot of Arby's sauce. The band is also firing up “The Dead Girls Project” – an interactive website wherein fans can remix new material.

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Beyond the Bale

Actual News Nugs

Oh, Christian...why so serious?

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Here Comes Thickness

Aaron Marable returns to Lawrence with “Thick as Thieves”

After some far flung detours to Costa Rica and California, painter Aaron Marable is ready to make another go at the Lawrence art scene.

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Actual news*

*...based on actual news

Wherein we peruse the news that was new last week...and make fun.

Sunday, February 1

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Meet the New Boss

Fix-it specialist David Leamon steps up to guide the Lawrence Arts Center through uncertain times.

New Lawrence Arts Center Director David Leamon is faced with the Obama-like challenge of resurrecting an ailing institution in tough economic times, and of regaining the respect of local artists, many of whom now criticize the LAC's exhibition policies as largely unrepresentative of Lawrence's varied and vibrant arts scene.

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Townie Guide to... weathering an economic holocaust

Staying drunk for the decade is a great idea.