Gregg on Your Face

Actual News Nugs*


A portrait of the Senator as a young mangina.

President Obama's nominee for Commerce Secretary, Republican Senator Judd Gregg, suddenly withdrew his name from consideration today. Gregg cited "irresolvable conflicts" involving Obama's stimulus package and the Census. Following Bill Richardson, this is the second nominee for Commerce Secretary to withdraw.*...In order to avoid any more controversy, and befitting the duties of Commerce Secretary, Obama then nominated a bag of mulch. When the mulch had to step down from consideration due to tax problems, Obama sought out an even more non-responsive object to fill the post, and nominated Joaquin Phoenix.

*...based on actual news


Jason Barr 12 years, 7 months ago

Somehow....I think this is part hoax, and part drugs.

gavon 12 years, 7 months ago

We can explain Joaquin's behavior with narcotics and/or Kaufmania, but Judd Gregg is a dick apart. .

smerdyakov 12 years, 7 months ago

Man, I thought this was going to be about

Still pretty good, though

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