BREAKING: Monkeys Periodically Unfunny

Actual News Nugs*

photo

"Founded in 1801 by Alexander Hamilton, that is 190 years continuous of f*cked up news."-Chuck D, "A Letter to the New York Post"

A 175-pound chimpanzee kept as a pet in Connecticut was shot and killed by a police officer this week after it viciously attacked a woman visiting its owners' home, leaving her with serious facial injuries. The owner of the chimpanzee repeatedly stabbed the berserk animal with a steak knife and beat it with a shovel as it was attacking her friend. In the 911 call from the owner the chimpanzee can be heard screaming in the background as the woman screams, "Hurry, please! He ripped her face off." Despite the horrific nature of the incident, the New York Post ran a cartoon tying the chimpanzee attack to President Obama's economic stimulus package.*...The Post defended the cartoon, saying they had a proud tradition of using racially charged and inappropriate imagery in their paper. Editors point to the 1932 cartoon linking hook-nosed Jewish vampires to the death of the Lindbergh baby and farm subsidies, and their Pulitzer Prize winning gag published the day after President Kennedy was shot,"Hole In Drunk Irishman's Head Bigger Than Trade Deficit."

Below is the actual 911 call from the tragic chimpanzee attack, which most people will find disturbing, that the New York Post thought was comedy gold:

*...based on actual news

Comments

gavon 12 years, 7 months ago

Yeah, if you didn't know it was real, it would sound like an inspired prank or comedy skit. However, a chimpanzee actually ripped off a woman's face. Shudder

Commenting has been disabled for this item.