Sunday, March 1, 2009
President Obama introduced Kansas Governor Kathleen Sebelius today as his nomination for Secretary of Health and Human Services. Sebelius had been an early and ardent supporter of Obama, rumored to have been a front runner for Vice President. If she is confirmed, Lieutenant Governor Mark Parkinson will become Governor. Sebelius is the second choice for HHS following Tom Daschle, who withdrew from consideration over tax problems.*...Kansas Democrats will inject Mark Parkinson with a powerful cocktail of Sebelius' stem cells and a Super Soldier serum, fit him with a giant Oscar de la Renta gown, and pray to God. The vetting process of Sebelius was almost derailed, however, when her son announced his new board game, "Necrophilia Pursuit." And Kansas Republicans, in a rare show of affection for their former adversary, introduced legislation to erect a farewell statue of Sebelius that looks suspiciously like a coal fired power plant.
If confirmed, Sebelius will be a key player in Obama's efforts at health care reform. Primary amongst those reforms will be universal ShamWow! coverage:
*...based on actual news