Road Rage

Actual News Nugs*

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Naming a two block stretch of road after a football coach from the '70s who didn't bring home any championships or even have an overall winning record is just the sort of retaliation Quantrill and his Bushwhackers would never suspect.

The Lawrence City Commission said this week it will consider renaming a section of Missouri St. after former KU football coach and notorious Missouri hater, Don Fambrough. The measure would only effect 9th through 11th streets, the stretch of Missouri leading up to KU's Memorial Stadium.*...Outraged city leaders in Columbia, MO attempted to find a Kansas-themed street they could rename, but quickly realized they have no paved roads and no one there can read anyway. They settled for finding a guy name Lawrence and beating the hell out of him.

In another pointless and resource consuming gesture, the Lawrence City Commission somehow convinced the nation of Columbia to change its name to "El Booginville." Also, an effort has been launched to genetically modify every tiger on the planet into a freakish abortion of nature, mocking our creator with deformed wings and a beak-like snout, so that it slightly resembles a Jayhawk.

Meanwhile, the economy is unravelling and our civilization is on the brink of total collapse.

Here is a website of equal relevance to the Lawrence City Commission proposal.

*...based on actual news

Comments

Mark Poepsel 10 years, 8 months ago

So, you're pondering making people change their addresses and spending at least a few hundred bucks on signage to rename Missouri St. in honor of a coach whose claim to fame is hating a team with an equally suspect record in the 70s and 80s? And this is all spurred on by a rivalry in a different sport?

And this is all tied back to a person most Missourians aren't familiar with who was actually from Ohio and who at times represented abolitionists in KS and the Confederacy in Missouri for his own benefit?

Maybe this is in anticipation of a lawless, Kevin Costner Postman post-apocalyptic future. If so, I'm sure you'll be proud to have planned ahead.

frankt 10 years, 8 months ago

Hey, we've got to enjoy ourselves, recession or no recession, and Fambrough has done much more for KU than coaches who've totaled more wins and losses. If seeing his name on a street sign keeps everything he stands for--hating MU, mainly, which may be stupid and silly, but dammit, it's important to some people, myself included--if seeing his name there makes people smile, then do it, baby. I don't think that because of the recession we should stop, say, supporting the arts, and a Fambrough street sign would have a similar effect, in my opinion: to make life a little richer.

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