E-bama

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A screenshot of the President's first ever "virtual town-hall meeting." The historic moment was frequently interrupted by pop-up ads for the new Arby's Roast Burger.

President Obama conducted a first-of-its-kind "virtual town-hall meeting" today, fielding questions through the White House website and Youtube. Over 100,000 questions were submitted and voted on by 3.5 million people. A majority were in regards to Obama's budget proposals, from health care reform to improving education, including a number of questions about legalizing marijuana. The president joked that he "wasn't sure what that says about the online audience," but answered that he didn't think legalizing pot would improve the economy.

*...Marijuana legalization advocates were outraged at the President's dismissive tone, but then forgot all about it when they got really baked and went to the Ron Paul Tweetup.

Obama also participated in an online chat session in an effort to use the new medium to speak directly to the American people. Below is an excerpt:

POTUS: Hi everybody, this is President Obama. I'm pleased to take questions from everyday Americans like you. Let's begin...

BilboFraggins: LOL! I'M TOTES TALKING TO THE PREZ! OMFG! Mr. President, my question is twofold--first, do you think that a single payer healthcare system is viable in the United States, and, second, did Sayid really kill Ben on last night on "Lost"?

POTUS: Thank you, Bilbo. First, I do not believe that a European-style model of universal healthcare is the best fit for our needs and am inclined to build upon the existing employer-based mechanisms. Second...DUDE! HOW ABOUT A SPOILER ALERT?!?! I STILL HAVEN'T WATCHED "LOST" ON DVR! TOTAL DICK MOVE, MAN! SRSLY! Anyway, next question...

Milf69: Thank you, Mr. President. I'm a middle aged mother with a rock hard body who could easily pass for 35. My question is, why haven't you asked me to sacrifice more in the face of this troubled economy?

POTUS: Wait a minute...Chuck Todd from NBC News, is that you?

Milf69: ...

POTUS: Come on, Chuck. Just admit it.

Milf69: Yes, it's me.

POTUS: Chuck, you know that this forum is for regular Americans and not the media elite. I...hey, I'm looking at the profile picture for Milf69...is that actually you in a dress and wig?

Milf69: Like what you see, Mr. President?

POTUS: Gross, Chuck...just gross. You make for an extremely ugly bearded woman.

Milf69: So you're saying there's a chance?

POTUS: Chuck, get out of here before I track you down and get socialist on your ass! I'll redistribute that goatee all over your face!

Milf69: Ooohh, I love it when you get all Commander in Chief. It makes my mustache moist.

POTUS: You press people are freaks. First, it's Ed Henry sitting in the front row of the briefing room with no pants on, and now this. No more questions.


*...based on actual news

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