Actual News Nug*

Monday, May 4, 2009

Supreme Court Justice David Souter announced his retirement last week, providing President Obama his first opportunity to reshape the high court's bench. Souter was appointed by President George H.W. Bush in 1990 and proved to be a more liberal jurist than conservatives had anticipated from the Republican president.*...Obama, in an effort to completely enrage conservatives just because he can, will nominate a hydra-judge with the heads of Hugo Chavez, Janeane Garofalo, and a gay San Francisco marsh mouse.

Apropos of barely anything, for all you 24 fans...