Tuesday, May 5, 2009
"X-Men Origins: Wolverine" was so bad it killed a third of Europe's population.
Top 20 Plagues Besides Swine Flu That Are Scaring the Crap Out of Us
1. Panther herpes
2. Mexi-AIDS
3. Michele Bachmann-itis
4. X-Men Origins: Wolverine
5. Opposite marriage
6. Whale balls
7. Hepatitis Z
8. Prolapsed urethra
9. Space clap
10. Feline polio
11. Festering pubes
12. Dropsy
13. Bear jowls
14. Flesh eating homeless people
15. Bubonic hemorrhoids
16. iPhone douchebags
17. Exploding puppy syphilis
18. E-trade babies
19. Nipple boulders
20. Twitter weevils
Comments
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Murph912 (anonymous) says…
i heard you can't get mexi-aids from oral... is that even true?? but seriously someone answer as it will weight heavily on tonight's festivities!! and beware oppo-sex marriage. it's real and it's destroying this country!!
i also heard those babies on etrade are like benjamin button, so no worries b/c although there are many, they'll be dying soon!! Hmmm, dead baby!
gavon (Gavon Laessig) says…
I'd be afraid to eat an E-trade baby...as I'm laying the tender, talking infant flesh on my tortilla (for, in this fantasy scenario, I have marinated the meat and grilled it for Cinco de Mayo fajitas) the taco would start singing "Take These Broken Wings."