Bill Self, his anaconda don't want none.
From yesterday's media event in anticipation of KU's first official game of the season, here's an exact quote from Bill Self:
“I love his smile. I’d say this about all our freshmen. I recruited Darnell (Jackson) because I liked his smile and he had a nice butt, to be honest with you."
In related news, recently unsealed court documents reveal David Letterman offered the very same compliment to his interns. (Not true.)
During the same interview, Self said he was pleased to announce the recruitment of Kim Kardashian, Jennifer Lopez, and Jessica Beil. (No he didn't.)
Also unveiled, as part of Allen Fieldhouse's extensive renovations, was the conversion of the men's shower room into an exact replica of the shower room from "Porky's." VIP peepholes will be available to Self and prestigious alumni. (Total fabrication.)
Darnell Jackson responded by sending graphic letters to Bill Self's wife, costing Self his job as an ESPN analyst. (That's just silly and factually incorrect in every conceivable way, and you know it.)
We now return to Bill Self's press conference already in progress:
(Not actually the press conference. The real one was far filthier and featured gallons of baby oil.)
Comments
Lawrence.com does not necessarily agree with comments posted below - responsibility lies with the relevant user alone. Read our full policy.