Monday, October 12, 2009
If you're not familiar with Etsy, it's an online marketplace for craftsy knick knacks and tchotchkes. For us Lawrence folk, think of it as a massive internet version of LOLA. For you non-Lawrence folk, think of it as Amy Sedaris' closet for sale on Craigslist.
As with anything online, there's a fair amount of awful on Etsy. And just as predictably, a site has sprung up whose singular mission is to find that awfulness and rip it a new cozy hole. Say hello to Helen Killer, Crochet Guevara and Knitler Youth, the curators of Regretsy. They scour Etsy looking for handmade miscarriages to insult and belittle. By the looks of it, they're unlikely to run out of ammunition for a good long while.
It's a well established format, pioneered by Vice Magazine's Dos and Don'ts, and championed today by sites such as Look At This F*cking Hipster and People of Wal-Mart. The only difference here is that sad things rather than sad people are being made fun of. And if you feel your life needs even more sad things, Regretsy dutifully provides links to buy everything that's mocked on their site.
Please peruse some of the tragic wares of Regretsy. People actually made this stuff. (Hat tip to Patrick and Kitty and Victoria!)
"edward and bella's portrait - fan art on sneakers, $125"
"MJ Emergency, $150"
"Flannel 10.5in Regular Cloth Menstrual Pad - Pokemon w/ Blue Navy, $15"
"Crocheted Toilet Paper Scarf - Fun Gift For The Holidays, $15"
"Christmas Nativity Meerkats, $55"
"Baby Gown/Sleep Sack, recycled t-shirt LIL KIM"
"Kitten Head on Amputee, $99,000"
"Unicorn Black real mounted stuffed animal, taxidermy, $600"
"Yep I make clothes for all types of Furbabies PINK LEOPARD GOAT COAT, $29.99"
"PINK FETUS CATNIP TOY, $6"
"OBAMA TOILET SEAT AND TANK LID COVER, $23"
"HIV Clock, $40"
"Fish in a Squirrel Suit Taxidermy, $350"
"CORSET jeans CUSTOM made to order SIZES 0JR. to PLUS, $89"
Oh, and fair warning...what you see here is fairly tame compared to the "adult" offerings on Regretsy. Don't come crying to me if you see some human anatomy rendered in yarn.
Comments
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TroutPoutt (anonymous) says…
Aah man, those corset jeans will be perfect for my halloween costume.
Feents (Caterina Benalcazar) says…
I'm sorry. Since when is a hand crocheted meerkat nativity scene anything other than awesome? Yeah, it's 55 bucks, but come on Gavon, if I gave you one for Xmas, you'd crap joy all over the 1100 block of Connecticut. Same for the lil kim sleep sack. You totes want one. Just admit it and I'll leave you alone.
gavon (Gavon Laessig) says…
Caterina, I would gladly buy any of the items on Regretsy. I think I'd look smashing in the Leopard Print Goat Coat (I am, after all, a "furbaby").
Considering that taste level, however, you have to admit that anything I like is automatically terrible.
godjilla (Jill Ensley) says…
Fish in Squirrel Suit has scarred me for life.
And I like it.