Nic Cage As Everyone

Daily Dose

Have you ever been cooped up for so long you start hallucinating? Ever suffer from a bout of cabin fever so severe you start behaving like a ketamine addict on an airplane?

I think I’ve hit that wall. Thanks to this winter hell-scape, my house has become an icy tomb. Haven’t stepped outside in weeks. I’m climbing up the walls. Literally. I’ve become so paranoid that I’ve strapped myself to the ceiling like a watchful salamander, lying in wait for the yetis. How am I typing this right now? Velcro on my laptop and the ceiling. Duh.

Beware, gentle reader. This tragic fate could also befall you. If you don’t get enough sunlight and its sanity salvaging Vitamin D, you too will start seeing things that aren’t there. Like Nicolas Cage. You’ll see his face everywhere. It’s a common psychosis, well documented by the website Nic Cage As Everyone.

So if you start seeing an Academy Award winning nephew of Francis Ford Coppola in places you know are irrational, seek help…the yetis will soon be at your door.

Master from Master Blaster


Amelia Earhart


Gandalf the White


Arnold Jackson


Pennywise


John "Bluto" Blutarsky


Al Swearengen


Dr. Who


Tiger Woods


The Wicked Witch of the West


Pamela Anderson


Paula Deen


Zac Efron


Sarah Palin


Jesse James


Amy Winehouse


Abraham Lincoln


Kanye West


Mona Lisa


The Burger King


John Mayer


Michael Myers


Ralphie Parker


Comments

smerdyakov 12 years, 10 months ago

Were I to wield such power, I would christen you, Gavon Laessig, Master of Sorting Things in Ascending Order from Least to Most Hilarious. I was just about to stop scrolling until I hit Zac Efron... and from there it was gold and goldener and even more golden. Abe or Mona Lisa has to be my fav but they all really validate Nic's classic everyman Mericaness~

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