Tuesday, December 25, 2012
Christmas is here, and TV programming is ready to help you embrace the day — or avoid it entirely.
The marathon of “A Christmas Story” (TBS) concludes at 7 p.m., after airing continuously since Monday night. ABC offers “Disney Parks Christmas Day Parade” (9 a.m.). Lifetime heaps on the holiday movies, beginning with “Christmas at Water’s Edge” (9 a.m.). Not to be outdone, Hallmark continues its own Christmas onslaught, beginning with one last chance to catch “It’s Christmas, Carol” (8 a.m.), starring Carrie Fisher.
They’re not the only networks desperate to remind us of the Big Day right until the stroke of midnight. ABC Family airs “The Santa Clause 3” (2 p.m.), “Home Alone” (6 p.m.) and “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation” (8 p.m.). Comedy Central offers an extra helping of the raucous “Bad Santa” (5 p.m.), starring Billy Bob Thornton in a role he was born to play.
Jim Carrey’s attempt to interpret characters created by Dr. Seuss loom large on the network horizon. He stars in the 2008 adaptation of “Horton Hears a Who!” (7 p.m., NBC), as well as the overstuffed and overwrought 2000 desecration of “Dr. Seuss’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas” (7:30 p.m., ABC), directed by Ron Howard. It takes 2 1/2 hours to spoil a story told brilliantly and economically in the 1966 half-hour special “Dr. Seuss’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas” (7 p.m., ABC), narrated by Boris Karloff.
Elsewhere, viewers can indulge in 10 hours of “Storage Wars” (5 p.m. through 3 a.m., A&E;), a reality series about the parasitic plundering of the belongings of unfortunates who no longer can afford to pay rent on their storage units. I once compared this practice to the scene in “A Christmas Carol” where the servants and the undertaker of the just-deceased Ebenezer Scrooge scheme to steal his silverware and bedsheets.
In addition to the series’ rancid atmosphere of implied exploitation, its “talents” have made recent headlines for arrests and prison records. Bah humbug, A&E;!
Tonight’s other highlights:
• On four episodes of “New Girl” (Fox): office party madness (7 p.m.), too many parties (7:30 p.m.), everyone dumps chores on Schmidt (8 p.m.) and Jess tangles with a school bully (8:30 p.m.).
• Mia’s dad visits on “Vegas” (9 p.m., CBS).
• “Blake Shelton’s Not So Family Christmas” (9 p.m., NBC).