Lawrence.com

It's that time of year again when local comedy favorite Victor Continental hosts his annual sketch variety show, poking fun at life, love and Lawrence. Our Megan Stuke put down her flying fork to talk with Continental, whose humor remains sharp as the rest of us wilt in this heat.

Megan Stuke: Victor, tell me, how have you been beating the heat this wickedly hot summer?

Victor Continental: With mah hand! Oh. Oh, you said “heat.” . . . With mah hand, Megan Stuke. With mah hand.

MS: I'm really looking forward to your show this year. Do you have any steamy sneak peeks for me?

VC: You don’t have to peek. You can look as long as you want! As for mah show: dresses fall off, boobs explode and Topeka is burned to the ground, as it should be.

MS: What is your favorite swimming stroke, and can you demonstrate it for me?

VC: Ah think you know the answer to this one. And Ah just did.

MS: Do you mind sharing with me and my readers a secret? We'd really like to know where you learned to dance.

VC: Dazzlers Christian Dance Academy. Then France. You know, there’s a place in France . . . Ah’ve said too much already.

MS: Victor, what are your thoughts on the return of Happy Hour to Kansas?

VC: Every hour with me is a happy hour. But now it’s cheaper. Oh-kay!

MS: Do you have suggestions for local bar owners for their Happy Hour specials?

VC: The important thing with something happy is the ending. But seriously, the PBR Mimosa is a drink whose time has come. Four parts PBR and OJ for color. Mix till laid.

MS: Victor, let's get political for a minute. I'd like to ask you a personal question. I hear Presidential Candidate Mitt Romney has some sort of special underwear. What do you think of that, do you have special underwear and in your opinion, does it make a man a better leader?

VC: Megan Stuke, Ah have never worn underwear and Ah never will. And Ah’ll never vote for a president who does. Also, Ah’m not allowed to vote. For reasons. Good reasons.

MS: Victor, tell us, do you vote a straight ticket, or do you like to mix it up?

VC: Ah’ll answer your question with a question of mah own. Have you ever had sex in a voting booth? Would you like to?

MS: Victor, you're an international man of mystery. Can I see your birth certificate?

VC: If you want to see mah tattoo, all you have to do is ask.

Lightning round

Hot or not hot: Channing Tatum?

Hot. He was in mah class at Dazzlers Christian Dance Academy. Then France.

Hot or not hot: TomKat split?

Ah have a chance with Tom Cruise again? HOT!

Hot or not hot: Octomom?

Eight legs! Four times the fun!

Hot or not hot: Wimbledon?

Balls. Deuce. Strawberries. The Queen. Yes!

Hot or not hot: "Twilight"?

No.

Hot or not hot: kickball?

Only if there’s a safeword.

Hot or not: pregnant women?

There’s nothing hotter than a sure thing!