Megan on the Move: A dating Luddite

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Can I just say how happy I am that I’m not dating anymore?

I mean, I’m happy I’m married to my husband; he’s pretty great. But I’m almost equally happy to just not be in the dating world anymore. It’s not what you might think, though. You see, I loved dating. I loved first dates, bad dates, hot dates and everything in between. Even bad dates resulted in good stories to share with my girlfriends and an opportunity to flex my creative muscles in concocting ways to escape a boring dinner partner.

So in some ways I’ve missed dating since I got married. Again, disclaimer: don’t get me wrong — I love my husband and wouldn’t trade our life together for anything. But I enjoyed dating and the silliness around it, and sometimes I think it’s sad that’s just over for me.

But then I get real. Dating today is 100 percent different than it was eight years ago or whenever it was my husband and I got exclusive. My last boyfriend before my husband taught me how to text message. That’s right, I didn’t have text messaging. I didn’t have Facebook or Twitter or Instagram or Snap Chat or — shudder — TINDER.

I waited around for voice mails on my LAND LINE. Eventually MySpace appeared and a little dating happened via that portal, but not much. I was nearing the end of my singlehood when social media and smartphones arrived on the scene. And for that I am SO GRATEFUL.

I’m not sure I could have enjoyed dating in this world. I didn’t expect to hear from the men in my life constantly. I didn’t have a way to monitor their whereabouts — save for the good old fashioned drive-by. I couldn’t tell when they had last posted on Facebook or if they’d seen my instant message. I was blissfully in the dark. If a guy stopped calling, I presumed him dead and moved on. I didn’t have the opportunity to see his life unfolding on the pocket-sized computer that went everywhere with me.

My single friends have a life so foreign to me. I often find myself advising them to “chill out” about the man du jour when they complain that he hasn’t texted them back in five hours. But then I remember that this is a brave new world, and I would have no idea how I’d react to the reality of texting and meeting online and using apps for connecting.

And so, no matter how exciting dating was, I’m happy that it’s over. I realize that makes me old and out of touch, and I’m totally accepting of that. And now I’m going to go ask my 5-year-old to program my VCR.

— Megan Stuke is a wife and a mother of Johnny (5) and Lily (1). By day she works to help children and families at Ballard Community Services, and by night she writes, cooks, cleans (very little) and tries her best to be part of everything Lawrence has to offer.