October 23, 2006
Preheat a ten-gallon cauldron over a blazing fire of hemlock boughs, several strips of black leather and two or three datura flowers. While the cauldron is heating, burn photographs of Jayne Mansfield and Richard Simmons, as many as you like. Reserve the ashes in a Tupperware container. When the cauldron begins to smoke, add five heaping skulls-full of rockabilly, a dram or two of surf music (preferably Dick Dale), and a well-rotted soupcon of The Munsters. If you have access to dead reptiles, add them now as well. Stir mixture vigorously with an over-scaled marital aid and bring to a rolling boil. Add the photographic ashes, a gross quantity of rum and a jigger or two of sour mother's milk. Simmer five minutes. Put on a Russ Meyer movie. Serve potion in tarnished goblets garnished with toenail clippings, squid tentacles and pimento-stuffed troll dolls. Warning: potion goes straight to the pelvis. The Spook Lights' Scary Manilow (a.k.a. Rob Gillaspie, vocals) and Curvacia VaVoom (a.k.a. Kelly Nightengale, guitar) beam down from the planet Sleazetopia into our slime-drenched podcast studio to talk about sex and sex and throwaway culture.