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The best commercials of the 1980s

Some people think Cybil (Cybill? Sibyll?) Shepard (Sheppard? Shepherd?) demanded that Moonlighting be shot with that extra-gauzy lens. I think not. I think it was Bruce. Bruce and his wine coolers wanted to be pretty.

And as a singer, I hate the little gravelly edge he puts in his voice when he sings. So affected. So lame.

Thanks for making me want to travel in time and punch Bruce Willis in the face, Joel. Thanks a lot.

December 5, 2006 at 5:56 p.m. ( | suggest removal )

The Kansas Jayhawks: No. 2 in the state, No. 1 in your hearts

Bill Self is a great recruiter and an excellent defensive coach. His big problem, however, appears to be in coaching offensive fundamentals.

His players at Illinois (Dee Brown, Luther Head, and the rest) became much better offensive players under Bruce Weber. That's because he broke them down fundamentally and built them back up. He worked hard on Dee Brown's left-handed skills and his pull-up jumper, and it paid off. That team went from a bruising defensive team under Self to an all-around juggernaut under Weber. (The problem Illinoi has now is that Weber can't recruit.)

Has anyone gotten better offensively under Self? Did Giddens? (No way.) Did Miles or Langord? (Miles perhaps, but not Langford.) Have Rush, Wright, Robinson, or Chalmers? (No, no, no, and maybe a little.)

Self is about two-thirds great and one-third lousy. Unfortunately, in a town utterly spoiled by Roy Williams, that's not going to get it done.

December 5, 2006 at 5:48 p.m. ( | suggest removal )

The best commercials of the 1980s

I would like to return to 1985 and punch Bruce Willis in the face.

December 5, 2006 at 5:39 p.m. ( | suggest removal )

The Kansas Jayhawks: No. 2 in the state, No. 1 in your hearts

WSU is for real, and it starts with Mark Turgeon. Winning is about more than physical talent; it's about developing good habits. Turgeon knows how to instill good basketball habits in his players. They're ready to play their best almost every game. Can we say that about Bill Self?

December 4, 2006 at 6:30 p.m. ( | suggest removal )

Wooderson was right?

Joel, you need to embrace the curmudgeon you're becoming. Let your curmudgeonly feelings flow. Don't fight it.

August 22, 2006 at 10:46 a.m. ( | suggest removal )

Love of my life

Beautiful, Joel. Good luck.


July 18, 2006 at 4:35 p.m. ( | suggest removal )

I'd bend over backwards to get my coffee shop back!

Hasselhoff is hideously mediocre. Chung is just hideous. I couldn't watch.

June 20, 2006 at 11:22 a.m. ( | suggest removal )

I'd bend over backwards to get my coffee shop back!

Wow. I love it, too. If those shiny people really exist, it explains a lot of things about my mornings.

Anyway, I like the new floor at LPT, but I was so used the old one, that I was momentarily disoriented when I walked in yesterday. I almost fell over. It's funny how a small change can throw off one's mojo.

June 20, 2006 at 11:20 a.m. ( | suggest removal )

Phelps, Fox News

This reminds me of the one time I really tried to argue with the Phelpses. They were protesting in front of my concert in Topeka last fall. I figured I was smarter and tougher than them, so I approached a group of three protesters and threw a few verbal jabs--something about the man in the group protesting too much, if you know what I mean.

What I didn't realize was that I wasn't mean enough to go toe-to-toe with these whack-jobs. They overwhelmed me with three simultaneous torrents of fire and brimstone. I couldn't get a word in, and when I tried, it was like I was fighting a flame thrower with a ping pong paddle. I just wasn't willing to fight fire with fire, and I'm not sure I knew how to use that kind of fire anway. I just don't have it in me. They kicked my ass. The last thing I remember was walking away, head spinning, while one of them said, "nice try, weenie boy!"

I promised myself never to try that again.

June 15, 2006 at 10:52 a.m. ( | suggest removal )

Hasselhoff! Hasselhoff! Hasselhoff!

What always strikes me about Hasselhoff is how hideous he can make mediocrity look. Usually, mediocrity causes indifference. With Hasselhoff, it stirs repulsion. And yet, we keep looking.

June 14, 2006 at 12:39 p.m. ( | suggest removal )