Doing it for My Country

_Dear Auntie M, Like many, I have experienced a deep sadness since our last presidential election. I really didn't think I could feel worse about it, but recent events (and reading [David Ryan's blogs][1]) have pushed me even further into despondency. Witnessing the inauguration made me lose all hope. We're doomed. If there is any way to save our country, I can't see it. How can we make it through four more years? How?! Looking for a hero, Major Lee Bummed _ Major, My god, man. Pull yourself together. Naturally, I have the solution to our problem. Many have cried out for the impeachment of our fearless leader; but, apparently, murder, torture, genocide, general tyranny and the like are no longer impeachable offenses. However, we all know a little something that is: And so, as awful, as revolting, as horrifying, as absolutely disgusting the very thought of it is, I have decided to 'take one for the team'. I will give the president a blow job. I will give head to the chief. I will smoke the first pole. I will get him off to GET HIM OUT. And, although this is probably the worst idea I've ever had, I will do it because I love this country! Now, hand me my beret. M [1]:


hodgie 18 years, 4 months ago

Auntie M,

This is a great idea. Just don't ask to store any of your soiled clothing in my house. I will not have any of Bush's "mistake sauce" darkening my door. That can be Misty's job.

Sarah Mathews 18 years, 4 months ago

Misty better get herself a really bad perm. Well, that is- assuming she doesnt have one already.

Terry Bush 18 years, 3 months ago

Misty's hair...ah that's a whole topic of discussion......

Sarah Mathews 18 years, 4 months ago

Now this is a true example of patriotism. I feel safer just knowing your glossed up DSL are out there fighting for my country.

Aufbrezeln Eschaton 18 years, 4 months ago

Ooooh, ooh, if you get to be Monica, can I be Linda Tripp? We've already got a getner (sp?) box on our phone line. . . .

Terry Bush 17 years, 9 months ago

OK - here's a list of 10 questions for you. I give you these in hopes you'll COME BACK AND PLAY!!! Loved meeting and talking with you at the pig. Want more writing from you!!!

  1. What should one say/do if you notice a guy has nose hair that is sticking way out (and he isn't wearing a mustache)?

  2. How old you think people should be before they should be legally allowed to get married?

  3. What is the right age to start teaching little kids the facts of life?

  4. What is with the sudden over-use of the prefix/word "Neo"? - I see it affixed to all kinds of old words - neoconservative being the most popular, but there's also neochristian, neoAmerican, etc.

  5. How do you get egg off of rock (seriously - it is not coming off with power spray, Tide or Oxyclean)?

  6. Short of poisoning the entire area and starting over, or constantly pulling up weeds, is there any easy to keep a flower garden from having grass in it?

  7. What are going to be the new fall colors for women's clothing?

  8. What are the most popular books checked out from the Topeka Library.

  9. At what age should a woman stop dying her hair and let it go grey?

  10. Why do women give other women advice about how to please a man; shouldn't men be giving that advice?

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