The Battle of the Mothers
It truly is amazing how "big of a deal" it is to people whether a woman chooses to stay home with her children or go off to work, regardless of how much choice a woman truly holds over the entire ordeal.I'm now out of college, and a well-meaning relative recently pulled me aside to let me know how he felt about my plans to "waste" my degree by staying home with my son. Apparently, after spending all of $16k on my B.A., I am now "obligated" to "put it to good use" by joining the work force full time and sending my toddler off to daycare.Not that I'm inherently opposed to daycare, or joining the work force, but I really don't think it is any of my relative's business what I choose to do.If this person had, in some way, financially contributed to my education, then sure, I might listen to his opinion. But I worked my own way through school, at one point holding three jobs, and graduated debt-free of my own accord.He gets no say in what I do with that $16,000.00 piece of paper.But it's not just relatives who butt their heads into other peoples' life decisions, it's women themselves. Women get pretty darn vicious when discussing whether it's better to "stay at home" or "go to work." Women who stay at home scream that they DO work, while women who work are exasperated that they hold full-time jobs while still having to go home and, in their evenings, complete the housework that most SAHMs finish during the daylight hours.It's pretty sad that after all we've gone through to bring "enlightenment" to women, we're now stuck on arguing over who's right, instead of just agreeing that nobody fits into a mold and we can all be right in our own ways, at least on this issue.One of my good friends knows a lady who is convinced that any woman who chooses to work out of the home is "rebellious" and defying God's divine will for her life. I know another woman who believes that women who stay at home are lazy and good for nothing. So where's the balance? What happened to "choose what works best for your family"?Growing up, my mother stayed home with us, whereas my husband's mother was in the military so she didn't get the opportunity to stay at home with him.Both my husband and I turned out to be functioning members of society. We don't have any bizarre psychological problems, and our mothers both seem to be pretty happy with the way their lives turned out, so it's hard - nay, impossible - to say that all women should do one or the other.But I just don't understand why, as women, we spend so much energy on bickering amongst ourselves, trying to prove how much better we are than one another, rather than just being happy with what we have and what we're doing in our own lives.