Posted
by Gavon Laessig
December 8, 2008 at 3:39 p.m.
Roofies
And now for another O Caption! contest!
![][1]
— Photo by Richard Gwin for the story "Unknown man on bar roof"
_______ (awaiting your caption ... post below!)
The creator of the best caption shall receive at no cost a rare, limited edition, otherwise costly Prize (such as fetching lcom apparrel, tickets to shows we sponsor, etc.)
As determined by a select group of circus folk, including self-appointed judge commenters (you!) below. [1]: http://media.lawrence.com/img/blogs/c...
and 10 others
Comments
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chewyfally (Falestine Afani Ruzik) says…
Someone said U2 was playing up here, but I don't see nuthin!
DOTDOT (anonymous) says…
stay back!! i know this AC unit is only 3 feet tall, but maybe I'm gonna dive.
Jason (anonymous) says…
Upon overhearing a rumor that there are plans to demolish The Ranch to construct a parking lot, man climbs to the roof of the establishment, taking a page from the local hippy handbook to save his beloved bar.
meanbean101 (anonymous) says…
Damn I knew it was too good to be true..they should really specify a.m. or p.m.
corduroypants (anonymous) says…
Can I get the Ranch on the side?
corduroypants (anonymous) says…
Dude, Where's My Bar?
corduroypants (anonymous) says…
Ranch Hands in Man's Pants
corduroypants (anonymous) says…
Man raises roof, but refuses to throw hands in the air. Says he "just doesn't care."
corduroypants (anonymous) says…
Worst. Doorman. Ever.
corduroypants (anonymous) says…
Eventually, Karl realized the roof wasn't actually "on fire."
corduroypants (anonymous) says…
"I don't see no heliport."
corduroypants (anonymous) says…
"I don't care what you say Copper! Legwarmers are trending this fall!"
AlAlvin (anonymous) says…
"Wow, this place is so much cooler on the roof than in the bar."
corduroypants (anonymous) says…
El Hobo Loco
Keith (anonymous) says…
Well, that weren't no stairway to heaven, that's for sure.
Keith (anonymous) says…
Up On The Roof, as sung by one Drifter.
cakefever (anonymous) says…
Piddler on the Roof
cakefever (anonymous) says…
Local man misunderstands "Roofies."
cakefever (anonymous) says…
In today's economy, things are slow on the Ranch.
cakefever (anonymous) says…
The Ranch confuses, disappoints with new holiday decorations.
cakefever (anonymous) says…
"So I should leave the milk and cookies here, then."
cakefever (anonymous) says…
Vagrancy reaches new heights.
corduroypants (anonymous) says…
Pool hall pocket pool.
cakefever (anonymous) says…
"Land Ho!"
corduroypants (anonymous) says…
"Hey, I can see Russia from here!"
corduroypants (anonymous) says…
Karl has no fear of heights. He is afraid of widths though.
gavon (Gavon Laessig) says…
Yowza! Are corduroypants and cakefever in a race? You guys are spitting out snaps like it's an old school rap battle. Not complaining, mind you...this is entertaining to watch. Let's see which of you caption-smiths will be our 30th comment...GO!
cakefever (anonymous) says…
Lines have already formed for the Twilight sequel.
cakefever (anonymous) says…
"Calgon, take me away... please?"
cakefever (anonymous) says…
Signs point to: bum
corduroypants (anonymous) says…
"Hey, that really is a banana in my pocket."
corduroypants (anonymous) says…
"Why did they cancel Pushing Daisies?! Why, dammit?! Why?!!"
cakefever (anonymous) says…
"Oh! So that's where I parked my car"
corduroypants (anonymous) says…
"There are a lot of frisbees up here."
cakefever (anonymous) says…
Prepare for take-off. Pants take-off.
Keith (anonymous) says…
There's a feeling I get, when I look to the west, and my spirit is crying for leaving.
corduroypants (anonymous) says…
Karl wonders if the other Sigma Chi pledges had to do this.
corduroypants (anonymous) says…
Karl tries to anticipate the next billboard stunt from the Power106 Morning Zoo Crew.
Keith (anonymous) says…
Wasted away again in LarryvilleLooking for my lost set of TruckNutz!Some people say that there's a woman to blameBut the rest of us say not a chance.
gavon (Gavon Laessig) says…
Jesus, guys...you're lapping any previous "O Caption" by several furlongs. Can you push it past 40? i dare ya!
gavon (Gavon Laessig) says…
Oh, wait...I just added the 40th comment. Okay, it's time to shoot for the moon. Onward to 50!
cakefever (anonymous) says…
"Because I got high"
cakefever (anonymous) says…
"Oh shucks, I forgot my cape"
PatrickJoseph (Patrick Giroux) says…
"Pushing Daisies" was cancelled?!?
corduroypants (anonymous) says…
"This doesn't look like Hidden Valley."
cakefever (anonymous) says…
"The Polar Express is really late..."
cakefever (anonymous) says…
OK. So. A hobo, his giant pants, and his tiny T.Rex arms goes into a bar...
cakefever (anonymous) says…
Day 43.I have run out of supplies. The pigeons have caught on, like the squirrels before them. It has been very cold, Diary, but my pantaloons have kept me warm. Filling them with my own insulation was a wise choice indeed, but I fear they will hold no more...
corduroypants (anonymous) says…
So, I entered the roundabout and the next thing I knew, I'm on top of this damn roof!
cakefever (anonymous) says…
Urban mountaineering
corduroypants (anonymous) says…
"Wanna come up and see my etchings?"
cakefever (anonymous) says…
Dear Ann Landers: My husband retired from the military seven years ago.Since then, he has not had a haircut and has stopped taking regular showers...
cakefever (anonymous) says…
Ain't no party like a stop day party 'cuz a stop day party don't stooooop
cakefever (anonymous) says…
"Lessee, I'll put the couch over there, and the shag rug over here"
chewyfally (Falestine Afani Ruzik) says…
this is the best caption contest EVER.so far i'm pulling for corduroypants.
gavon (Gavon Laessig) says…
All right you weaklings...push it to 60!
corduroypants (anonymous) says…
After scaling The Ranch, Karl sets his sights on his next conquest: Mt. Eldridge.
cakefever (anonymous) says…
Keep out of reach of children.
cakefever (anonymous) says…
Dude. Ranch.
cakefever (anonymous) says…
It's lonely at the top.ok that's it, I'm spent.
gavon (Gavon Laessig) says…
Bravo, sirs. You've earned a well deserved rest. Drink some Powerade and take a lap.If cakefever and corduroypants haven't scared everyone off by doing every conceivable permutation of caption, the forum is opened back up to the regulars.
corduroypants (anonymous) says…
*snaps towel at cakefever*
PatrickJoseph (Patrick Giroux) says…
brimley!
gavon (Gavon Laessig) says…
*ahem* I meant to say "Bravo, sirs and/or madams." I'm a total Blagojevich (or a "Blago" for short). Apologies.
cakefever (anonymous) says…
ah, good game. good game..good game...jerk...good game.
Carmenilla (anonymous) says…
This confused gentleman misunderstood the joke about how you get a sorority girl to suck yer dick. (You stick it in ranch)P.S. I dont even know why I tried! You guys tore that shit up. I LOL'd all over myself.
lazz (anonymous) says…
Hey, wait a minute ... there's no "second-floor dance lounge"! Ha ha ... very funny guys ... guys??
PatrickJoseph (Patrick Giroux) says…
"C'mon guys, open the door. C'mon, not cool!"
chewyfally (Falestine Afani Ruzik) says…
Somebody posted this comment on the Journal World story:The_riot_is (Anonymous) says…"It's beer thirty on the roof."Made me lol at work.
gavon (Gavon Laessig) says…
Congrats, Chewy...yours was comment 69! *giggle*
DOTDOT (anonymous) says…
Unknown man on bar roof says, "I got your caption contest right here, motherfuckers."
alm77 (anonymous) says…
Holy cow. I'm laughing so hard I'm crying. I say give em both a prize!! That Ann Landers bit 'bout did me in!!
monkeyboots (anonymous) says…
Lawrence City Commissioners refined the downtown panhandling ordinance this week, clarifying the new guidelines for "passive soliciting."
jonescoleman (anonymous) says…
Does this skort make me look fat?
gavon (Gavon Laessig) says…
This was a tough one. It's obviously between corduroypants and cakefever since they stuffed the ballot box--stuffed it with quality, that is! Since so many of their captions were award worthy, I'm going to single out the most prodigious captioneer. In a squeaker, the final tally was corduroypants 22, cakefever 25. Congrats cakefever! If I had to pick one out of the litter, it would be:"Vagrancy reaches new heights."You will, cakefever, get some sort of sweat shop garment for your toils.
corduroypants (anonymous) says…
Denial (this isn't happening to me!)Anger (why is this happening to me?)Bargaining (I promise I'll be a better person if...)Depression (I don't care anymore)Acceptance (I'm ready for whatever comes)
cakefever (anonymous) says…
heh heh heh
corduroypants (anonymous) says…
Admit your cutting and pasting! I demand satisfaction!I hope you won a tie-dyed shirt.
cakefever (anonymous) says…
Can you cut rainbows? Can you paste awesomeness? Sir, I think not!
gavon (Gavon Laessig) says…
No fighting, you two! Don't make me bristle my Brimley at you! (And with that, we've crossed the 80 mark.)