Posted
by Tom King
March 21, 2004 at 12:14 p.m.
Whither Greasy Spoon?
Any modern American college town is expected to supply the following basic amenities to its student population: -- dozens of pizza joints and plenty of cheap, bland chain restaurants; -- a bar on every block ("because you just never know"); -- a robust marijuana culture; -- coffeehouses in a variety of styles and tones; -- strip joints and porn outlets (despite the Internet); -- bookstores, record shops and live music venues; -- at least one Abercrombie, one Urban Outfitters and a few resale clothing stores; -- a decent selection of DUI lawyers; -- and, most importantly, insufficient on-campus parking.Lawrence currently meets these criteria, save for one glaring omission: an authentic Greasy Spoon breakfast joint.The American Heritage dictionary defines a Greasy Spoon as "a small, inexpensive, often unsanitary restaurant." The term "greasy spoon" speaks to careless dishwashing practices, hence grease on the cutlery. And, indeed, a certain level of carelessness is inherent to the Greasy Spoon tradition. Greasy Spoons are low on frills -- frills cost money, frills raise prices.In terms of decor, "tacky" is a compliment. In terms of service, "casual" is a charitable observation. In terms of menu, Spam is no surprise. Bottled ketchup is usually the best-made item in the house. In terms of sanitation -- you don't want to know.Forget about nutrition. Greasy Spoons are all about the cholesterol, serving fare to swell the heart, clog the artery and soothe the hangover. Customer complaints are savagely ignored -- in fact, anyone complaining about anything in a Greasy Spoon deserves to be kicked out. Why go willingly to such a place? Greasy Spoons are CHEAP.Cafe dePalma was a quintessential Greasy Spoon. Sixty-five year old Frank dePalma had been cooking up and serving a $1.99 breakfast (two eggs, potatoes, toast), for thirty years, and he hated every minute of it. The house special, the Mystery Omelet -- $4.95, the most expensive item on the menu -- was a top seller, despite its cryptic moniker.The best Greasy Spoons are mom and pop operations -- Frank's tight-lipped wife often helped out on the weekends. On weekdays, service was handled by a middle-aged waitress who felt it essential to inform each of her customers -- in mind-numbing detail -- of her bipolarity, her late-blooming schizophrenia and of her bastard philandering husband, while eggs grew cold on the pick-up counter. Cafe dePalma had an open kitchen -- customers could see their eggs getting cold. They could also see Frank picking his nose -- which he did constantly and without shame -- and the sweat dripping from his brow onto the griddle. They could hear him cursing their specifications and they could smell food burning. The thin paper napkins on the tables also served as paper in the filthy bathroom, and Frank readily admitted to his patrons that he hadn't mopped the floor in five years.Mercifully, Frank did his prep work in back, out of sight. The Health Department inspector was a lifelong chum. Yet there was always a line in front of Cafe dePalma in the mornings, and at least an hour's wait on weekends.When Frank threw in the dishtowel and closed shop in 1994, Cafe dePalma was sorely missed -- it was the last of its kind in town.Nearing its long-overdue and painful-to-watch demise, the [Paradise Cafe][1] attempted to explain away its abysmal foodservice ethics as faithful adherences to the Greasy Spoon tradition, but Paradise prices were too high and its pretensions too obvious.In any case, the inflated rents on Massachusetts Street currently preclude the establishment of an authentic Greasy Spoon. [Annabelle][2]'s in Eudora is the real deal, and maybe [Odessa's][3] in East Lawrence, though Odessa runs too clean and careful a business -- albeit fiercely homespun -- to truly qualify as a Greasy Spoon. [Milton][4]'s and [First Watch][5] are not Greasy Spoons, but should [The Orient][6] ever decide to serve breakfast -- bingo!We need a Greasy Spoon in Lawrence, some place close to downtown yet off the beaten path. We need a place to get an inexpensive bellyful, never mind the danger. Cheap eggs and home fries, rancid bacon and drywall toast under five bucks, and a bit of John Waters thrown in for free.Who's up for it? And where shall it be? [1]: http://calendars.lawrence.com/places/130/ [2]: http://calendars.lawrence.com/places/33/ [3]: http://calendars.lawrence.com/places/121/ [4]: http://calendars.lawrence.com/places/113/ [5]: http://calendars.lawrence.com/places/69/ [6]: http://calendars.lawrence.com/places/123/
Comments
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PayTime (anonymous) says…
This sounds like my wifes kitchen. I am deffinetly down for relocating the kitchen without my wife. Let me know where you want it and I'm there. - Payton Burdough
pumpkin (anonymous) says…
Great blog! Breakfast is my second favorite meal (behind Thanksgiving).
lazz (anonymous) says…
i'm in.
a fabulous subgenre of the greasy spoon, as perfected in (among other places, I'm sure) south Florida, where strip malls are not so much scoffed at because they are a regular part of life: the strip-mall diner/greasy spoon. A tiny space -- few tables and a counter -- fast turnover, closed by 2. Tons of parking and a regular client base. The point being, a diner/greasy spoon doesn't need a hip location to be worthy. In fact, anti-hip, in this case, would add authenticity ...
Sdormat (anonymous) says…
You are so right about this. i have lived here since 94 and have always thought we needed a real life diner in this town. Are there any buildings over by Freestate Glass? That seems like it would be a good location- and probably a lot cheaper than having a business on Mass.
dex (anonymous) says…
if ever traveling in and about durango, be sure to try oscar's or the durango diner, both serve traditional and southwestern greasy spoon breakfasts smothered in green chili.
lag_aquarian (anonymous) says…
Ohh, I haven't been to Annabelles in awhile. Nothing will get you going like that coffee they serve. I used to love the arguments that the cook and the wait staff would have. I hope it hasn't changed.
Lawrence needs one for sure. I am up for it. I just don't have any good suggestions to where...
itsoffthehook (anonymous) says…
Have any of you tried Larry's Short Stop on Topeka Blvd. in our not so beautiful capitol? My dad used to take me there as a kid and I would have to say it is the best grease you can buy in this state. Maybe they would wanna franchise...
OtherJoel (anonymous) says…
I went to Austin last week and found this "taco trailer" (they are apparently pretty common down there) sitting in a gas station parking lot that serves excellent breakfast tacos for just a buck -- the standard version came with two ingredients of your choosing -- eggs, bacon, ham, fried potatoes, sausage, and cheese. And you could add 2 extra ingredients for a quarter. They also came with some of the best salsa I have ever tasted. I ate three of them, but I have a bigger appetite than most, so one or two would be fine for many people. I think one of those would go over pretty well here. While it wouldn't have the ambience of the Cafe DePalma, it certainly would meet the grease and starch needs of the hung over student.
Damn, I'm hungry now...
tomB (anonymous) says…
"It is strange, but true, that in conditions of danger, we feel most alive." -J.G. Bennett
Yes! Bring back the danger!
Lately the grease (wherever I can get it) has been a very useful aid. Last night (actually this morning, approaching the "early-bird" breakfast time) I had another one of those greasy, meat-filled cylindrical objects and this is very likely why a feel like a million bucks this morning (um, I mean afternoon). But it would be nice to have this option for cheap, AFTER a dark, "liquid diet"-induced slumber. Tom, I hope your article inspires the ambitious.
1981 (Jason Barr) says…
Great blog Tom, I think there's a "soul food trailor" that parks somewhere east of Mass off of 6th street. I've been tempted several times but I think I've only seen it open on the weekends and it's not always parked there. love jbarr
rednekbuddha (Kelly Powell) says…
LeAnn and myself was seriously considering starting a greasy spoon....But we came to the realization that the hours would really suck and we'd be constantly traing new cooks....Once you have taught somebody to cook, they will drop their breakfast shifts like a live grenade.
If somebody was wanting to start one I have a few observations to point out. First, I would get at least two flattops.....Omelets are a lot faster on one and once you get the knack, you can do eggs to order. Second, put at least 15 differant kinds of omelets on the menu, so you wont have as many special orders.Third train your waitstaff to say no to outrageous special orders(something that Mcoy couldnt figure out at paradise) Example, Its a sat breakfast rush, Your kitchen is completley slammed, this is not the day to try to ask them for eggs poached medium. This is also a tradition at greasy spoons, that you cant allways get it your way. Fourth, cook with lard! and tell them proudly that you do....
average (anonymous) says…
Yes, the Orient has the right attitude and location to be a breakfast greasy spoon, but their prices have gone from 'as cheap as the decor' to 'we might as well eat at Tellers' over the past few years. I guess taxes have put the squeeze on Nancy, but her food is not worth four times the competition.
A few years ago, I enjoyed the early hours food and entertainment at Jester's. There's no place to get a meal downtown at 1 AM or befor 5:30 AM (when the Amtrak trains come through).
wilson (Wilson Miner) says…
there's a great greasy spoon behind the salvation army (in the parking lot, actually) in Wichita called Brint's Diner. it's been there for millenia, and never moved from the spot. biscuits and gravy are $1.00 and endless coffee is a quarter. in high school we would get up early and drive out of our way to spend 30 minutes in a booth with greasy food, black coffee, a grumpy waitress and a pack of camels. i could do without the smokes these days, but damn if don't i miss that place. maybe one of the coffee shops downtown could keep a kitchen fired in the mornings. or maybe there's a bar that needs to keep it's food revenues up to get the city off it's back. ..
liz (Liz Weslander) says…
I'm 90 percent sure that Drake's was in the Orient's location at one time, so that's probably why it seems like a good location. When I was little, when Checker's was still Rusty's IGA, they had a good little greasy breakfast counter. Anyway, I think North Lawrence is the way to go for a greasy spoon. They've got the cheapest rent in town.
tomking (Tom King) says…
Now these are comments! What an erudite bunch you are.
Sdormat: That little church over by FreeState Glass, but its something else now.
liz: Right--Drake's used to inhabit The Orient's location.
Buddha: good advice on all counts. Saying "no" is the unalienable right of any righteous Greasy Spoon.
OtherJoel: Taco trailers seem to be a Texas thing--I haven't seen them anywhere else in this country.
tomking (Tom King) says…
Update: I can't remember the name of this joint (PJ's?) over in the shopping center at 19th and Haskell--does it qualify as a genuine GS, or is it simply tragic?
liz (Liz Weslander) says…
About the "taco trailer" -Taco stands is a subject that is near and dear to my heart. So much so that I've refrained from other discussions about Mexican food in Lawrence on this site. A taco from a taco stand IS Mexican food in my opinion. The stands are not limited to Texas. They're all over Tucson and Southern California, and I assume any place that has a decent Mexican population. Garden City probably has a few. I haven't experienced the breakfast version, but it is great late night fare. And there's nothing frilly about eating a taco on a plastic chair in a gas staition parking lot while watching a mexican soccer match on a TV hooked up to the generator. In a way, taco stands are the greasy spoons of the globalization era. So yeah, I like the idea of a taco stand.
beck (Beck Wilson) says…
There's a "taco trailer" -- er, well, a bus -- over in Topeka at 6th and Lane: "Taqueria Los Charros." Never tried it, sadly.
chickadee (anonymous) says…
Does anyone know if someone's taking over Vermont St. BBQ's location after they move to Paradise's old residence? That could be a possibility. Of course the cast of characters will make it complete no matter where it's located. No college kids and wannabe hipsters slinging hash...we need Mel and Flo!
itsoffthehook: Yeah! Larry's Shortstop in South Topeka! Cheap, greasy cheeseburgers and cheap gasoline!
quinno (Patrick Quinn) says…
Drake's was originally a block north, wasn't it? Down from Jennings Daylight Donuts? (Oh, how I miss JDD...)
lazz (anonymous) says…
Drake's was originally in the space now occupied by ... let's see, Chipotle, I think. Maybe Mad Greek. Something close to that. Between Weavers and what is now Kinko's (formerly Woolworth's.) (Speaking of great greasy spoon -- the Woolworth's diner was fabulous.)
Before its sad departure, Drake's moved briefly to the space now occupied by The Orient.
Drake's had its crew, but I was never a big fan. The Woolworth's diner was superior. Drake's was incredibly unreliable, at least in my experience...
lazz (anonymous) says…
oh yeah, tom -- the restaurants that fade in and out in that 19th/Haskell mall are, yes, best described as tragic. there was one recently that was OK, from what I heard, (Quinn, didn't you tell me you at there once?) then the quick and horrifyiing fade. Last I noticed, the latest version was shuttered, and I didn't notice anybody weeping on the sidewalk or pounding on the door to be let in ... I fear the proximity to that nasty, irredeemable saloon guarantees that space a grim existence ...
liz (Liz Weslander) says…
I just remembered the Woolworth's diner as I was drifiting off to sleep last night! I loved that Woolworths. My husband and I were talking about how it would be cool to have an interactive CD rom that could show you the different stores downtown over the years. I was thinking Drake's had a stint down by Francis sporting goods, but that may be Jennings I'm thinking of.
lazz (anonymous) says…
that is probably jenning's you're thinking of, liz, though drake's might certainly have been elsewhere before its long-standing spot near weaver's. there was also a diner/ice cream joint on the east side of mass, in the 800 or 700 block. i don't recall it myself; a friend who has lived here his whole life has told me stories about from when he was very young -- mid-60s.
it's helpful to remember that downtown was once more of an all-purpose community destination point: lumber, seed stores, varied retail merchants (all locally owned), numerous banks and lawyers, movie theaters, newstands ... the diners/greasy spoons were part of that world. I'm NOT bashing the evolution of downtown -- things change. but our downtown was created as the all-purpose shopping/dining/services strip for what was essentially a rural, agricultural, bi-county economy, plus serving the needs of students and a college community. now it's more high-end national retail and bars/dining/entertainment, plus college-student-specific drinking/shopping -- a mix that doesn't fit the needs of greasy spoons (such as lower rents and taxes). in the early/mid-80s we saved downtown from death by a suburban mall (where le grand target now sits), and the trade-off is what we now have. just a different world.
tomking (Tom King) says…
The lunch counter and the drugstore soda fountain--seriously endangered if not extinct. Instead, we now have the food court and the vending machine, unless you count the modern coffeeshop--with its vanilla soy lattes and double mochas--as a soda fountain.
quinno (Patrick Quinn) says…
At the risk of igniting an unpleasant debate, I will observe that an immutable characteristic of every greasy spoon w/out exception are ashtrays, and whatever cultural oppty still exists for a greasy spoon/lunch counter revival is being clobbered by prescriptive anti-smoking regulations. Up here in Summit County, where more than 25,000 live and where a comprehensive smoking ban is about to take effect, there remains only one establishment that serves breakfast and permits smoking. (There are fewer than six restaurants of any kind that permit smoking.) A number of bars are resigned to going out of business when the ban takes effect in June.
SickBastard (anonymous) says…
One of the best greasy spoons in Kansas is in Wichita. Next time you down there, check out First Watch. It's downtown, on Douglas I think, right next to the Wichita Eagle Beacon. For 2.99 you can get a platter with bacon, eggs, hash browns, and an english muffin soaked in grease. Plus, in the true greasy spoon spirit, you can smoke wherever the hell you want.
lazz (anonymous) says…
great point, quinn. the notion of enforcing, or even considering, no-smoking legislation inside a greasy spoon is a bit absurd.
like one of the guys at west said the other evening when somebody brought up the possible city-wide ban on public smoking -- "whaddo they think this is, a gym?"
indeed.
scarlett (anonymous) says…
Not only do the smoking police (from California) not want you to smoke in a greasy spoon, they don't want greasy spoons to exist cause that'll kill ya too, and after all life should be beautiful all the time, and really, really safe, and above all, they wouldn't want anyone to have too much fun, cause, ya know, they sure aren't. What do they think this is, a gym in California???
lazz (anonymous) says…
you know what has to qualify as a greasy spoon --- or at the very least a greasy spoon's first cousin: Joe's Bakery.
Man oh man love those egg-salad sammiches. And no, I don't wanna know how long they've been in that case ...
jendeep (anonymous) says…
this past summer, my boyfriend and i took a roadtrip to canada. on the way, we stopped in st. paul, mn. we ate at in a diner car that served this greasy spoon food you speak of. it was a heartattack on a plate, but dang, it was good. a town like lawrence would do well to have one. it seems to be that a greasy meal helps heal a hangover.
elmersleznick (anonymous) says…
That diner in St. Paul's is Mickey's Dining Car. Pretty darned good after all these years. For a great directory of greasy spoons across the US, check out the Sterns' site, http://www.roadfood.com. I agree, though. Lawrence needs such a place. North Lawrence would be my suggested location, but just close enough to Johnny's so that you could still walk there if too drunk to drive. The Gaslight is great. Maybe a taco truck out back in their parking lot on weekend nights???
Hey, I also want to know who's going in the old Paradise space... I see renovations proceeding, but no articles in the Journal-World to confirm whether it's Vermont BBQ or not.
By the way, downtown needs another faux yuppie BBQ joint or burgers-fries-sports bar like a hole in the head.
sippers (anonymous) says…
Hey Lazz, Drakes was where The Orient is now. It was even owned by the same people that are running the place now. I will never forget the Oopps Omelet and how I was affected a mere hour after eating one, and yet I kept eating there. I've been in town for about 20yrs, and the only places I can think of that have been by Weavers was the woolworths lunchcounter or maybe the Sweetleaf(located where the Mad Greek is now). Try The Hole in the Wall Grill inside the Pool Room, they're open at 11am fri, sat, and sun. Last sat. he had a chorizo and egg breakfast for 3 bucks that was outstanding, it's not a breakfast place, but it's greasy and they always seem to have a breakfast item on special for the late rising crowd.
quinno (Patrick Quinn) says…
I think the place next to Weaver's was called Sweetgrass.
lazz (anonymous) says…
yup, drake's was indeed where the orient is now.
but first it was between weaver's and what's now kinko's, formerly woolworth's. essentially, where mad greek is. i promise you. the spot where the orient is now, and where drake's moved to, is a completely renovated corner. doesn't fit downtown architecture. i forget what business the renovations were done for -- something specific. maybe that testing school on the corner, with the diner next door, and a small retail space inside ... but that doesn't feel quite riight ... it was built specficially for the business in the corner, and i can't think what that was to begin with ...
before those renovations were done, the spot where orient/drakes is now was a terrific novelty shop called John's Novelty.
shorttrees (anonymous) says…
Wasn't Adventure the Bookstore down in there somewhere, too? It's been a few years, but I loved the place in the 80's.
lazz (anonymous) says…
adventure was was where that furniture store is now between Amyx Barbers and Third World -- Father's Daughter?
My buddy who is better authority than me says original Drakes was directly next to the Woolworth's diner, which puts in the spot where the art gallery is now -- Phoenix Gallery? And he says John's novelty was directly next to the Granada, which puts it where the bar is now -- Fatso's, I think it's called?
he also scolded me because we are now sounding like our dads, telling everyone where downtown shops used to be a hundred years ago, "back in our day..." grrrrr, not my intention to sound so crusty...
rednekbuddha (Kelly Powell) says…
Johns novelties! I completley forgot about that place! There was a shoe shine business next to that....We need another one.
lazz (anonymous) says…
by the way, for what it's worth, i goofed on the gallery. i was thinking it was north of kinko's. so i guess the original drakes would have been where Chipotle is now.
Also, there was a diner where Paradise's middle room used to be, the one with the doorway. That was long ago, probably up to about 1970.
Not sure about the shoe shine shop,but there was a longtime shoe repair shop across from John's novelty, just north of the Varsity. The Patty brothers owned it. They sold about 20 years ago, moved to Arizona ....
ctomarctus (anonymous) says…
If you're ever in Winnipeg, Canada, go with Salisbury House. It's a chain now, but they haven't forgotten their GS roots. The way they slightly burn their hashbrowns draws complaints from some, but it's their trademark. Coffee, of course, is bottomless.