July 23, 2006
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All gamers have been there before. It's the moment that you get beat for the 400th time by some bullshit enemy tactic. It's the moment that you die right before a long-overdue checkpoint. In the case of the above picture, it's the moment that Lawrence.com videogame reviewer Andrew Campbell finally snapped after unsuccessfully trying to perform a move in DOA 4's training mode for three hours. Each of our reviewers has compiled a list of their five hardest/most annoying videogames ever, in terms of personal experience. Feel free to add your own infuriating experiences using our Comments feature at the bottom of this page.
_Dan Ryckert's picks:_**The original Mega Man series (NES)**The Blue Bomber's original six adventures on the NES are undoubtedly classics, but they also undoubtedly made me want to punt a kitten through a window. While I originally played through the games on the actual system, most of my recent revisits to the series has been thanks to PC emulators (complete with the luxury of save/restore states). Once I received the Mega Man Anniversary Collection to review, I realized how spoiled the emulators had made me. Jumps required insanely precise timing, taking damage from enemies would occasionally send you backwards into a pit, and it was crucial to play through the bosses in the correct order. The segments featuring the appearing and disappearing blocks are still the hardest platforming areas I've ever seen on the system. When you inevitably did die, you had to utilize a confusing Connect Four-style password system to get back to your spot. If you were lucky enough to make it all the way to Dr. Wily's awesome-looking castle, you had to go through all the bosses in one level. Absolutely classic games, but I think I'm gonna be a wuss and stick with my save state-enabled emulator when I get an itch for nostalgia.**Mortal Kombat II (Genesis)**Back in elementary school, I was in the midst of full-scale Mortal Kombat obsession. I remember spending hours every day playing the best entry in the series (MKII), and most of that time was spent getting ridiculously pissed. My most vivid memory involved fighting Kitana near the late stages of the single-player mode. The AI used the most cheap tactics possible in a fighting game, and wouldn't even allow me to jump without using the "fan lift" move. I must have seriously tried to beat her close to 200 times without success. At one point, I remember getting her in "Danger," only to get rocked by a series of cheap moves. I threw the controller against the wall, ran to my bed screaming and punched the shit out of my headboard. Similar reactions followed my attempts to beat Shao Khan without the patented Sub Zero "freeze-uppercut-slide" technique.**Gilligans Island (NES)**I'd like to preface this paragraph by stating my hopes that nobody out there has actually played this game. You play as the Skipper, and you walk around the island with Gilligan. As is to be expected, Gilligan is an absolute retard the entire time, and generally falls into holes and gets attacked by birds. Your only attack is a single punch that goes straight in front of the Skipper. The problem is, a lot of the ground enemies (snakes mostly) can't even get hit by this attack, so you're absolutely helpless. Most of the time playing this game is spent dying from snake bites, getting knocked down by birds, and reading Gilligan's terrible wisecracks over and over again.**Paperboy (NES)**I'm not entirely sure what area of the country the Paperboy delivers to, but I'm staying the fuck away from it. Apparently, the average suburban street in Paperboy-land is absolutely infested with rolling pin-wielding madwomen, tornados, runaway lawnmowers and even Death himself. As if avoiding these obstacles wasn't enough, it also expects you to perfectly throw newspapers into specific mailboxes. Once I realized that playing this game correctly was a lost cause, I tended to just ride around trying to break everyone's windows. If you were actually lucky enough to make it through this hellhole of a street, you'd randomly encounter a full-scale obstacle course for some reason.**Mike Tyson's Punch-Out! (NES)**Out of all the NES classics, I've easily played this one the most. I've got every fight down to a science, and consider myself to be pretty damn good at the game.![][2] That is:if you don't count the fight with Iron Mike himself. It's actually eerily similar to how real-life boxing matches with Mike Tyson go: he's absolutely invincible for the first round, but if you can survive that, he's defeatable. For the first minute and a half, he'll completely rock your shit with one punch. After that, he gets reduced to "almost invincible" status. If you're quick enough to react to his wink cue, you can sidestep his uppercut and jab him once or twice (triggering one of the most hilarious NES facial animations ever...see picture). No matter how much you play this game, it's damn near impossible to take him down. Outside of this epic fight, the game also features one of the most intense moments in videogame history: Bald Bull's charge. When he backs up to the top of the screen, you know it's do-or-die. Time it right, you take him down with a gut punch. Miss it by a nanosecond, however, and you'll be eating canvas.
_Trevan McGee's picks:_**Ghosts 'N Goblins (NES)**Without question, this is the hardest platformer ever. Ghouls 'N Ghosts , its sequel, allowed you to shoot upward and Super Ghouls 'N Ghosts gave you the coveted double jump, but in the original you got nothing. The result was platforming that was so precise the slightest misjudgment spelled instant doom. Throw in enemies that continually respawn, bosses that follow no discernable pattern and the fact that two hits equal death and you've got a game that at times feels less like entertainment and more like a sick joke. As an added bonus, each time you died the game pulled out the world map to show you just how far you had left to go. Make no mistake, Ghosts 'N Goblins was and still is the videogame equivalent of being kicked in the nuts. **Mike Tyson's Punch-Out! (NES)**Mike Tyson's Punch-Out accomplished the seemingly impossible feat of being able to incite my red-faced, tantrum throwing fury and still remaining as addictive as Fruit Rollups or Mountain Dew to my little eight-year-old brain. This is probably because like Ghosts 'N Goblins, its difficulty actually relied on skill and not just cheap gimmicks. Still, Soda Popinski, the rematch with Piston Honda and the final bout with Tyson go down as three of the hardest bosses I've ever faced. I used to get so mad at that game that I would pop the cartridge out of the Nintendo before referee Mario would finish my ten-count. Y'know, to save face.**Castlevania (NES)**Castlevania wasn't necessarily a hard game all the way through, but what makes it stick out to me was the last boss. Dracula was the first time I encountered a boss that changed forms. Fifteen years of videogaming later and this has become a cliche, but at the time I was caught completely off guard. Thinking I had beat the game I rolled up the controller and was walking up to the Nintendo to shut it off. When I found out Drac still had some fight left in him I rushed to unroll my controller before I was killed and in my hastiness knocked the NES off the coffee table, causing it to shut off. **Eternal Champions (Genesis)**Unlike the three previous games, this game was hard not because it demanded a certain level of skill, but because it was sluggish, unresponsive and a cheap piece of crap. I got Eternal Champions packed with my Sega Genesis and I played through the poorly conceived and horribly executed Mortal Kombat clone with limited outbursts until the game's cheap-ass final boss. Repeatedly holding you in place, pulling out ridiculous unblockables and plenty of booby traps, Eternal Champions set the bar for cheap final bosses that can still be observed today in games like DOA 3 & 4 and Tekken 5. **Devil May Cry (PS2)**Originally I was going to list Devil May Cry 3-after all it is significantly harder. Then I realized how quickly I got through DMC3 in comparison to how long it took me to finish the first one. Looking back, the original Devil May Cry feels like a rite of passage from casual to hardcore gamer. Toppling games like Ninja Gaiden and God of War's God Mode could easily be attributed to lessons learned from DMC. It was the first 3D action game of its kind and it will go down in history as the first game to cost me a PS2 controller.
_Chris Baker's picks_**Ikaruga (Gamecube)**There are a lot of games that fit into this 2D overhead shooter category, but this one is just unbelievable. This is a game that I would pick up, play for an hour and then get frustrated and turn it off for a few days. Not violently or anything though, but because I would completely believe that it's just impossible to really beat. Then I saw a friend of mine fly through the first handful of levels without dying even once. That sure as hell puts you in your place.**The original Mega Man series (NES)**I loved these games, I really did, but boy did they drive me crazy. I beat them all, but only after playing nearly every level so many times that I had to memorize them in order to complete them. I lived by my parents good graces back then, so I'd dare not risk the destruction of a controller by chucking it across the room, but I sure was close a few times. The echoing techno blip sound that went off when you died still reverberates in the back of my mind to this day... **Snake Rattle 'n' Roll (NES)**This was an incredibly creative and fun game that honestly had the perfect level of difficulty:until you made it to the last few stages. I remember literally sweating when I would prepare to make those great leaps across the chasms of death, hoping to land on the floating carpets using the impossible-to-line-up isometric graphic system. Curses go to Rare for making such a ridiculously addictive and difficult (yet fun) game.**Mike Tyson's Punch Out! (NES)**This was a great and addictive game, but it took me absolutely forever to figure out the patterns and get my reflexes tuned to beat Iron Mike. Punch Out was even worse than the others in some ways because of its intense concentration requirements. So many times I'd lose focus for even half a second and suddenly I'd be thrown completely out of sync and get hit again and again and again until I was out. I don't remember throwing my controller as much as I do remember trying to squeeze the imaginary bloody juice out of it because of those moments.**College Hoops 2K series (PS2)**If you have never angrily thrown a controller or suddenly powered down your console and stormed out of the room due to your game going badly, then you scarcely deserve to call yourself a gamer. I'm a huge fan of the College Hoops series, so that's where most of my sports game anger has been directed in the last few years. Before it, there was International Superstar Soccer, Ken Griffey Jr. Presents Major League Baseball and Tecmo Bowl, in that order. The advent of online gaming with services like Xbox Live has made sports rage all the worse too, because now you can be trash talked at any time of the day, whether you have a friend on hand or not. Quitting the game before it's over is a big no-no too, so you would just have to suffer through it. Painful. Very Painful.
_Andrew Campbell's picks:_**Mike Tyson's Punch-Out! (NES)**One of my favorite games that I never actually beat, Punch-Out! tells the charming tale of up-and-coming boxer Little Mac as he gets his ass handed to him by boxers over twice his size. Well, at least he did when I was playing. Anyone familiar with the game can tell you about the split-second timing required against some of the later boxers in the game, or the virtually impossible final boss (Mr. Tyson himself). This game ruined my childhood.**Battletoads (NES)**Scratch that, this game ruined my childhood. I have lost hours of sleep at night wondering what actually lies beyond the third level of this hellishly hard title. For those having trouble remembering, that's the stage where your toad is strapped onto a bike and forced to dodge what seems like a hundred hurtling stone walls a second. After attempting to pass this upwards of a thousand times at a friend's house, I finally gave up and never talked to my friend again. What an asshole.**Donkey Kong (Game Boy)**This game introduced me to the concept of videogames and violence. Not necessarily violence in videogames, but rather violence as a result of videogames. One day, I was sitting in the top bunk of my bunk bed playing through one of the last levels. After trying unsuccessfully for about an hour, I finally got so fed up with Donkey Kong's shit that I found myself hurling my Game Boy towards the end of the bed. There, it bounced off the wood, into the air, and fell to its death. Well, at least its half-death. After that, only the right side of the Game Boy's screen worked and I was forced into stealing my sister's just so I could see the end of the game. Thanks a lot, Kong.**Dead or Alive 4 (Xbox 360)**Following the Donkey Kong incident, I went many years without damaging my video game equipment. That is, until I played this game. For the most part, my experience with this game consisted of frequent swearing and frustrated controller tosses. However, one point in particular spelled the demise of my newly purchased wireless controller. During the training mode, you have to execute a move called Raijin. The move itself requires such a complex and precise button combination, that the actual likelihood of pulling it off in a fight is almost zero. Unfortunately, for training mode, you have to execute it, if only once. That one time took me well over three hours, and at about the two hour mark, disaster struck. After my umpteenth unsuccessful try, I finally snapped and decided to Raijin my poor $50 controller into the ground. After about an hour of heavy-duty repairs (i.e. tape) I finally got the controller working, and managed to pull off the move. You still owe me $50 though, Dead or Alive.**Fight Club (PS2)**This game just pisses me off because it sucks.
As you can see, Mike Tyson's Punch-Out! seems to be the clear winner for "Most Infuriating Game Ever." None of us even discussed our picks before writing up our five, which says a lot for how ridiculously hard (and awesome) that game was. I'll end this with a some images that all Punch-Out players have seen countless times (note that I was originally going to end it by saying "here's something you'll never see," and post a picture of Little Mac knocking out Tyson, but I couldn't find a single picture of this impossible event occuring):
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[1]: http://media.lawrence.com/img/photos/2006/07/23/controller_breakers_450.jpg [2]: http://media.lawrence.com/img/photos/2006/07/23/tyson_face.jpg [3]: http://media.lawrence.com/img/photos/2006/07/25/mike_tyson.jpg
Comments
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feeble (anonymous) says...
1. E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (Atari 2600)
Yes I played it, yeah, I'd like my childhood back.
2. Gyromite (NES)
- as kids, I think we broke or lost critical parts to our "Robby the Robot." Thus, the second player would take over the robot's roll and try very hard to crush player one as often as possible. Player one generally chucked their controller at player two within the first 10 or so minutes.
3. Back to the Future II & III (NES)
- more trippy that SMB 2, and also so incredibly confusing and frustrating. I think I tossed the controller and the console.
4. Daggerfall (PC)
More game-shattering bugs please? kthnks.
July 24, 2006 at 11:36 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
Ryckert (Dan Ryckert) says...
I completely agree about Back to the Future II & III. Had no idea what the hell was going on.
And Trevan, I hate to break it to you.....but Soda Popinski is a pussy.
July 24, 2006 at 10:54 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
Shelby (anonymous) says...
I always had trouble with Mr. Sandman.
I agree so much with the ET (Atari 2600) comment. Did anyone ever figure out how that game worked, i.e., what you were supposed to do to get sucked back up into your ship and go to the next level? I remember that happening ONCE to my friend who was playing it, but we had NO idea why it happened.
July 25, 2006 at 9 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
Fragmental (Chris Baker) says...
Well if none of you have heard the story of E.T. on the Atari 2600, you should read up on it here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/E.T._(vi...)
At one point, Atari produced more copies of the game than the number of actual 2600's in existance. They were that confident that the game would sell so well that it would sell thousands of additional 2600's just for that game. They gave the developer a matter of weeks to make it and paid millions for the video game rights from Steven Speilberg and Co. It is the perfect example of how the video game market crashed in the 80's because of Atari's complete lack of a good business marketing ability. Back then they felt that they could produce just about anything and they would sell millions of them, which for a while was relatively true. But consumer confidence in the company and in gaming overall began to decline to the point that the company effectively killed the game industry during the first half of the 1980's. It wasn't until Nintendo and their little red plumber came along that the industry was revived. Atari even pulled their 7800 hardware off the shelf to try to compete with Nintendo but failed miserably, releasing generally crappy software on a hardware that was far less advanced that the NES.
I could go on forever, but the bottom line is that it wasn't so much a case of E.T. being a hard game to play, as it was an issue of the game being virtually unplayable. Atari was forced to bury a few million copies of the game in a landfill when it failed so miersably that they needed to clear out the space that they were taking up in their warehouses. I still have a copy in very good condition, which I will always treasure as an example of what happens when you become too over confident and under estimate your customers.
July 25, 2006 at 1:48 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
fletch (anonymous) says...
I loathed Mike Tyson's Punch Out for most of my childhood because I was so bad at it. A few years ago when I was in the dorms, a friend pulled it out and showed me to glory of quick dodging instead of blocking. He played all the way through and beat Iron Mike on the first try. To this day, it is one of the finest video game perfornmances I've ever seen.
My Top 5:
1. Startropics (NES) - You're on an island with a yo-yo, no directions, and no entry level tutorials. If you manage to figure out where you're going, it's a great game, but the odds of that are low.
2. Yo Noid! (NES)- A surprisingly difficult platformer, the end levels and enemies ramp up to the point where you need to be mainlining RedBull to make the jumps. If you manage to get through that, you have to win at a match game (pizza eating contest) at the end of each level or you lose.
3. Blast Corps (N64)- One of the most under appreciated puzzle games for the N64. Some of the levels require insane trigger reflexes, timing, and a well though out gameplan to achieve Gold status. This caused numerous 10 hour sessions during high school when I should have been sleeping.
4. Sonic Adventure (DC)- Okay, the platforming is great, but they included these bizarre fishing levels for some reason. You get no tutorial and the fishing dynamics are buggy as hell. I never actually finished them. Rather, I was letting a friend try, fell asleep, and when I woke up he had finished them for me.
5. Geometry Wars (360)- One of the few games where you actually have to play some warmup rounds to get your heart beating and your twitch reflexes going faster. Moving either of your thumbs a milimeter too far is the difference between an early death and rubbing your friends noses in your new high score.
July 25, 2006 at 6:21 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
OmegaPaiN (anonymous) says...
I never could get past level 4 or so of Kid Icarus(NES). I thought the game was great, but was extremely frustrated I couldn't see the numerous levels that came after.
July 25, 2006 at 7:17 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
trevanon (anonymous) says...
Yeah, Soda Popinski's a bitch--now. When I was 8-years-old though, he took a couple of tries.
Maybe if I played him on an emulator...
July 26, 2006 at 11:22 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
Kornphlake (anonymous) says...
1. Metroid
2. Contra: Shattered Soldier
3. Devil May Cry 3
4. Kid Chameleon (100 levels, no saves!)
5. Battletoads
6. The original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on the NES (I never made it past the dam stage)
August 13, 2006 at 12:49 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
narky (anonymous) says...
nerdz
August 14, 2006 at 2:03 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
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