August 3, 2005
This is the second night in the past three that I haven't been able to sleep. Sleep has never been a problem for me. I once fell asleep at work while walking. The first night, I know it was the nap I had earlier in the day. That, and stress. This time, it's the copious amount of caffeine I had earlier, and stress. This is beginning to be troublesome.Troublesome as well is the fact that the hour and a half previous to writing this, I was writing grand, sweeping universal truth-like prose in my head and now it's morphed into herky-jerky nonsense. I blame the light of the monitor. Apparently my creativity is vampiric. How very spooky.I have a lazy eye. I was born with it. I'm legally blind in my "bad eye". When I was little, they tried to correct it with the obligatory patch, among other methods. This patch was the most ridiculous thing I'd ever seen. It was skin-colored, as if your face looking like half of a flesh-colored, lumpy potato was any better. To make matters worse, it came with stickers:.TO PUT ON THE MIDDLE OF THE EYEPATCH (my apologies to Gillaspie, I like caps too). These stickers were small and had things like monkeys and balloons, all in a blue, orange, and white color scheme. There may have even been a banana, now that I think about it. If I had been a more effervescent child, less concerned with the teasing and horrible stares, I would have played this shit up. I mean hell, I could have been a pirate LONG before I glommed onto pirates being cool, long before it became the soup du jour. But no, I hated those damn things, so I cheated and constantly pulled the corner up so I could see properly. Thus, I'm still slightly cross-eyed. So yes, it shows up mostly when I'm really tired:which I now expect to be tomorrow, when I have a wedding to photograph. And that would also be part of why I'm not sleeping._addendum!: the wedding went smoooothly. thankyouverymuch._
Comments
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obuchanan (anonymous) says...
Congrats... Now, go get some sleep, vampiress!
August 4, 2005 at 1:52 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
Carmenilla (anonymous) says...
I was driving across town this morning and KJHK played some Beck. My girl and I were bopping about in the car much to the delight and amazement of other drivers. Its not often you see a "grown" woman car-dancing at 7:45am. Well, anyway, the point is that Beck must have had you mind when he wrote:
"Think I'm going crazy.
Her left eye is lazy.
Nicotine and gravy"
Classic stuff.....
August 4, 2005 at 9:18 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
Joel (Joel Mathis) says...
I heard that, too, Carmenilla. I bumped along in my car.
August 4, 2005 at 10:02 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
Carmenilla (anonymous) says...
Yes, but were you full on shaking what yer mama gave you, Joel?
Work it!
August 4, 2005 at 10:04 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
wbabbit (Will Babbit) says...
Yeah, those scientologists can really write some lyrics....
August 4, 2005 at 10:41 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
Carmenilla (anonymous) says...
Ahhhhh! Don't ruin my perfect morning! Bastard!!!
August 4, 2005 at 10:42 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
cvillehawk (anonymous) says...
"But no, I hated those damn things, so I cheated and constantly pulled the corner up so I could see properly. Thus, I'm still slightly cross-eyed."
I have the same condition, and I don't think it's in any way your fault that you're still slightly cross-eyed. I think this treatment simply doesn't work - it certainly didn't for me, and made my childhood years just a little more painful. I will categorically reject this treatment if my son happens to inherit this problem.
I find nobody seems to mind my "lazy eye", and I'm sure nobody minds yours, either!
August 4, 2005 at 10:49 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
Joel (Joel Mathis) says...
Carminilla: I'm kinda chunky, so yes, I was shaking what my momma gave me ... and it kept shaking for a couple of minutes afterward.
August 4, 2005 at 10:53 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
Carmenilla (anonymous) says...
Tee hee, Joel.
August 4, 2005 at 11:11 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
thetom (anonymous) says...
The only thing sexier than a lazy eye is a slight cross.
August 4, 2005 at 11:30 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
scary_manilow (anonymous) says...
This comment was removed by the site staff for violation of the usage agreement.
August 4, 2005 at 12:17 p.m. ( permalink | )
godjilla (Jill Ensley) says...
obuchanan, thanks! I did.
Carmenilla, don't listen to wbabbit...Beck's coolness overrides his Scientology. Unlike some short, two-bit, crazy-eyed actors.
cvillehawk....I wasn't blaming myself, but thanks anyway. :p I'm okay with it (most of the time). Boys are weird (see: thetom) and some of them find it sexy. Freaks! ;)
Man, I wish I got Channel 6.
August 4, 2005 at 1:05 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
cvillehawk (anonymous) says...
Well, the main gist of my post was to say I think it's a horrible treatment and I wish they'd just quit it already.
August 4, 2005 at 1:11 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
godjilla (Jill Ensley) says...
Do they really still do that? I had an operation to correct early on, but they just made it worse.
Y'know, it's funny how the boys in this town go bonkers when you play a little Judas Priest on the radio. It's almost endearing.
August 4, 2005 at 1:15 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
cvillehawk (anonymous) says...
I actually should have tried to break you down "Good Will Hunting" style:
"It's not your fault, Jill"
"I know"
"No... I mean it's NOT your FAULT, Jill"
"Yeah, I know"
"Listen to me - it's not your fault"
"Don't fu*k with me, cville. Not you."
You know how it goes from there, Good Jill Hunting.
August 4, 2005 at 1:17 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
godjilla (Jill Ensley) says...
HA! Nice!
My quotes usually come from Empire Records or Super Troopers
Ah donna memorize movie quotes too well.
August 4, 2005 at 1:34 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
beatle919 (Marcy McGuffie) says...
What is with the insomnia infiltration? Mine's been going on for 2 weeks now...I chalked it up to a genetic flaw (it's not uncommon in my family). But, I was chatting with a friend yesterday--and she's been having serious issues too. Sleep=such a beautiful thing. Dark telltale circles under the eyes=not attractive.
Joel: shake it, don't break it! Really, I have no idea what I mean by that...we'll blame it on the lack of sleep.
August 4, 2005 at 1:47 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
Carmenilla (anonymous) says...
Jilla, the boys go crazy when you play some Judas Priest because they are secretly in love with Rob Halford. Didn't you know?
Also, would you please shamelessly promote your radio show so I can know when to listen? I love my KJHK (when they're not playing techno that sounds like a rusty radiator with a case of the hiccups).
August 4, 2005 at 2:21 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
godjilla (Jill Ensley) says...
Carmenilla, you may be onto something.
And if you tune in now....you can hear me until 4pm.
During the semester, regularly on Mondays 2-4pm.
Wha-chow!
August 4, 2005 at 2:31 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
chrysanthalbee (chrys anthalbee) says...
is that you jilla? who knew? (i didn't)
play some ween for me!
August 4, 2005 at 3:03 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
godjilla (Jill Ensley) says...
AH DONE PLAYED WEEN!
But for you, I'll play it again.
Now that's service!
August 4, 2005 at 3:09 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
toreador (Michael Austin) says...
All right, now someone has to pay. I have a devil's haircut in my mind. Lack of sleep is really playing with my mind today. Things that seem like dreams were real and visa versa. Kinda screwed up last night and hurt someone, now I sit and stew on my own thoughts. Mt Dew is my nectar, and oh how I wish I had some drinks!
Jill, the eye just ads to the mystique. A big sticker of a bloodshot eye would have been great on that. I think I wanted to be a pirate when I was a kid. It's cool now? Damn, I missed the boat on that one...
August 4, 2005 at 3:12 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
chrysanthalbee (chrys anthalbee) says...
thanx ... let's begin with the past in front
you RAWK!
August 4, 2005 at 3:12 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
maclothier (anonymous) says...
Jill - check out the poetry of Robert Duncan - he was cross/lazy/crazy -eyed, among other very interesting (and often naughty) things!
August 4, 2005 at 4:09 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
cvillehawk (anonymous) says...
"HA! Nice!
My quotes usually come from Empire Records or Super Troopers
Ah donna memorize movie quotes too well."
Neither do I - I always nip over to imdb.com and look up "notable quotes" for the film.
August 5, 2005 at 12:02 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
katnip (Deb Townsend) says...
Jilla, my little brother had the same thing. He tried to get it surgically corrected in college in some medieval procedure where the surgeon strung sutures through the muscles in his eyes and then worked the strings to shore up the ocular muscles like some crazy plastic surgeon/puppetmaster while my dad held my 6'5 bro in the chair. All healing and psychiatric care aside, it still didnt work and his eye crosses every time he gets tired. I always thought that instead of being all twisted off by it, he should've told everybody that "yes, you do go blind from doing that, I just thought that given the volume, it would be a faster process."
August 7, 2005 at 11:58 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
godjilla (Jill Ensley) says...
maclothier, thank you for the recommendation! I will check him out tomorrow actually. :)
katnip, wow, I could not even do that...I have such problems with "things" being put in my body...things not of the organic variety. I've never even had stitches. *shudder*
It's odd. I think when I was younger, I tried to gain sympathy from it, but now I realize it's not such a big deal...though it will taint my mood a bit if I have to walk around with it going all wonky. People can't help but stare. I don't blame them. But, at least it's not that noticable these days.
August 8, 2005 at 11:40 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
toreador (Michael Austin) says...
Just use it to your benefit to make people uncomfortable. A guy I used to work with had an eye that would roam. He never told us which eye would wander, and so he always had us guessing, and on edge. He would not look at you directly with either eye just to mess with you more as you wondered where he was looking and where you should look. Which eye, which eye do I look at! Then he would laugh and walk off...
August 9, 2005 at 3:46 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
pissykitty (Melissa Lynch) says...
In the archive for the Perry Bible Fellowship cartoons, see the one called, "Deer Lazy Eye". It's near the bottom somewhere.
My sister is legally blind and her vision is not correctable. The doctors didn't think that early on though and strapped the thickest lenses I've ever seen in my life to her little, 4 year old head. The rims of the glasses were that thick pearly plastic that was so lovely in the early 80s, and they slid up and down her nose all day. 4 year olds are quite busy, you know. The poor girl had a scab all the way up between her eyes down to just above where her nostrils flared out.
I can't believe they gave you stickers for your eye patch. That reminds me of the magnets on the backbrace in Romy and Michelle's HS Reunion.
August 9, 2005 at 8:04 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
pissykitty (Melissa Lynch) says...
the nose scab doesnt come anywhere near surgery on your eyes, though. dont you have to be awake when they do that?
August 9, 2005 at 8:05 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
toreador (Michael Austin) says...
So did Hayes actually open? I will most likely be in Lawrence over the weekend a couple of times, so I want to try it!
Oh, and needles and eyes. I think I have nightmares composed of that...
August 11, 2005 at 12:07 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
godjilla (Jill Ensley) says...
pissykitty, nose-scabs are pretty bad (not as bad as nose-scabies, but bad) and you have to be awake for brain surgery and lasik, but I don't think you have to be awake for eye surgery. I was wee, a baby, so I don't think so. And thank you for the Romy and Michelle reference. I love that movie. I have a reunion coming up next year (oh good christ) and I hope it goes like that....that or Grosse Point Blank.
Mike, there was this movie I saw a long time ago (maybe when I was 8?) where this lady laid perfectly still on a bed and this guy put a needle right through the center of her opened eye. THAT stayed with me....that and Pirahna...and Kingdom of The Spiders.
August 12, 2005 at 10:18 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )