Posted
by Jill Ensley
October 20, 2007 at 11:09 p.m.
A Swing and a Miss
I was going to refrain from mentioning this, but I can't help it. Maybe it's the Fall weather putting me in a sharing mood, or the hum of my brain as I try to pack 2 months of work into one. And yes, I realize I've mixed baseball and golf references. I'm not entirely made of vagina. Not entirely.So, a friend and I were out, admittedly, half-assedly trolling for gents and we were sitting at the bar of a certain local establishment....let's call it...the Blue Tiger (see that? sneaky), when what to my wandering eyes should appear, but two polo shirts wearing tans. And THIS, was their opening:"You girls play Golden Tee?"Clearly, I look like a Golden Tee FIEND, and truly, I would be, were it not for the fact that it's golf....as a video game. I think I'd have more fun if it were Golden Pee. But really, wouldn't we all. Obviously anything else I could possibly say after this moment will be downright mean and dripping in annoying sarcasm, so I'll just leave it at that. I will say that Polo Shirt #1's friend did not partake in the pixelated golf pick-up, so I'm sure he has no lesson to learn. But YOU, if you're out there, while I commend you for trying, NEVER use that line again...unless....no, never.
and 2 others
Comments
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DOTDOT (anonymous) says…
"You girls play Golden Tee?"
At 30, this kind of makes you a pedophile.
Just saying.
..
OhioJayhawk (anonymous) says…
Geez, Jill, how can you blame a guy for wanting to get in one's hole...er, I mean get a hole in one.
mitzibel (Misty Nuckolls) says…
It took me a minute to realize they were talking about that bar game, rather than some obscure but undoubtedly disgusting sex act.
But then, I'm a damned pervert.
OtherJoel (anonymous) says…
Jeez, Jill, my bro Skip and I really were just trying to be friendly the other night -- and yes, I truly thought you'd be into video golf. Pardon my mistake. Yeesh.
By the way, polo shirts are awesome.
godjilla (Jill Ensley) says…
DOTDOT, wasn't that past your bedtime? Or are you gettin' up for the Early Bird Specials down at the Country Kitchen.
OhioJayhawk, I was going to pretend you didn't say that, but the obligatory ba-dum chh resounded in my head.
Misty, I would have preferred a reference to some sex act....at least then I could further my knowledge of the Mating Habits of the Tanned Polo Shirt. Also, are you doing NaNoWriMo this year....or did that already pass?
OtherJoel, Skip?!
And yes, yes they are....especially pink ones.
Joel (Joel Mathis) says…
Blue Tiger? I always took you for a Boating Fraternity gal, myself.
mitzibel (Misty Nuckolls) says…
Not sure yet. I'd like to, but it's going to depend on what they have to do to me with their crazy gut-cameras and lazers and whatnot. I swear, going to the doctor these days is like a freakin' alien abduction.
lazz (anonymous) says…
Damn, Jilla, it's all in the details, and you left out the most important of all: polo-shirt collars, turned up or no??
OtherJoel (anonymous) says…
Skip just seem like the kind of name some dude who hangs out at the, um, "Blue Tiger" and wears polo shirts would have.
DOTDOT (anonymous) says…
We got a Country Kitchen?
Heck.
Fire.
godjilla (Jill Ensley) says…
Joel, HA! There should be alternate names for all bars. The Capitalistic Swine, perhaps?
mitzibel, well I hope everything turns out all right. I almost said "comes out alright", but that might hit a little too close to home. :/ I kid because I care. It's what I do.
lazz, DAMMIT, you're right. Sadly, no popped collars. If there had been, I probably would have laughed myself off the bar stool.
dotdot, dammit i wish. I'd go for a Denny's at this point.
mitzibel (Misty Nuckolls) says…
Heh. Actually, if it does "come out all right", I'm throwing an Ovarian Cotillion (it's *my* ovary, dammit, it gets a coming-out party if I say so), and I'll be disappointed if you don't show.
And screw Denny's. What we need is some Waffle House action.
godjilla (Jill Ensley) says…
I would be honored to toast your ovary.
And what we really really need, is a Roscoe's Chicken N' Waffles.
Hey, as long as we're dreamin'.