May 23, 2008
This last semester of my 12-year-long road to a Bachelor of Fine Arts (to be clear, I took about 6 of those years off) has culminated in a couple swift kicks to the pants from a big yellow-footed mythical bird.A few days removed from the fires that stoked my ire and I'm not nearly as angry as I was, merely glad to be done. Maybe that's why nothing changes up there on the hill. Send the kids through the wringer of collegiate bureaucracy, tired tenured professors, and the chaos of graduating with thousands of people and they'll just be glad to get away with some good memories and the near-distant promise of loan payments.Here's a sampling of my last week at KU, which was rather indicative of the last semester as a whole....The Friday before graduation (Fine Arts Convocation took place Saturday morning), I was up in the Art & Design building diligently working on editing video all day. The room I was in has a coded door, meaning you can't (read: shouldn't) be in there unless you've had a class there. I did. I had a working code, that is until after 5 pm when apparently the Chair, or someone in Design, decided to CLEAR THEM ALL. Lo and behold, upon returning to the room after a bathroom break, I was locked out...with all my things still inside the room, keys to my house, car, my cell phone, everything. Not knowing what else to do, I called KU Security to see if they would come unlock the door. No dice. Apparently, as per Vice Provost policy, they cannot unlock a coded door and even if they could, they would not allow me to take anything out of the room...not even my things. They told me to call my professor or the Dean, the Chair, anyone else. I was only merely frustrated at this point, since I still had a lot of work to do. I went to my only resource, a computer in the lobby of the A&D cafeteria/lounge area, and emailed my professor. Knowing this was not going to be a timely response, I waited to see if I could find anyone else that could get in that room. An hour or so later, I called KU Security back and attempted to explain further why I needed to at least just get my stuff out. They refused. I said, "At some point, common sense has to kick in." Their answer, "Yeah, you'd think." WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY TO THAT. I went back to the computer, emailed another professor, knowing this would also not be a timely response. I paced. I called KU Security back, now just getting pissed, explaining that I needed to graduate in the morning and this was ridiculous. At this point, I saw me sleeping in that building and missing graduation. In the end, I called KU Security four times, they finally got hold of my professor's wife, she gave them his cell phone number, which they gave to me instead of calling it themselves. I called and left a message and after waiting a total of five hours doing nothing but walking the halls, repeatedly trying the door and being stressed out, he came and let me in the room. This was NOT his fault, it's the idiotic policies of KU Design and the Vice Provost. No one wanted to listen to reason, or the fact that I had my name on the things that were in that room, that I could prove I was supposed to have access. But because I couldn't produce a key upon entering, there was "nothing they could do". The kicker came when a KU Security officer came by on his rounds (just before my professor showed up) and was gladly trying to find a key to get me in the room. Way to go KU, ya dicks.So, Saturday I missed Convocation, which was my own fault since I had the wrong time. Thinking it was at 11:30, I missed it by an hour. Ah well, another indication of this semester's general tone. The real fun came on Sunday when my family, including my elderly Grandfather, came up for Commencement. I currently live 2 blocks from Football Central and we were going to walk it. We started over at 1:45 since the thing started at 2:30 and it would take awhile to get Grandpa over there. I trudged up the hill so that I could make the symbolic descent. Up at the top, it was a general clusterfuck of black robes and no direction from ANY KU official. You cannot tell me there aren't enough people working at this University to help out on Commencement day. Having finally spotted some friends, we found our "spots" consisting of a sign and a loose congregation of poop-brown (Fine Arts colors, how telling)tassels. Up in the shade, it was warm, but breezy and relatively nice. I began to relax. Everything was going to be smooth and I could finally appreciate what was about to happen. Down in the sun, where nearly all of the families and friends were, it was baking.The procession started, we walked, we got mixed up and nearly went the wrong way (again, no direction. graduates, you got a degree, figure it out). And by the time I got down to my family, they were sunburned and very hot. My Grandfather did not look so good. A few pictures and let's go. Nope. Can't leave.Apparently, if you watch the procession from the inside of the two descending lines, you cannot cross over them until ALL of the graduates are through. My poor Grandfather looked like he was going to collapse, and he did. As we were attempting, for the second time, to persuade the concentration of security guards to let us pass, he simply sat down because his knees gave out and he was simply exhausted from the heat. Out came the stretchers and medic and what was supposed to be a fairly quick, happy memory became "Dear god, don't let my Grandpa die at Graduation." For the record, he's fine. But this is not how you want your graduation to go, seeing your Father upset, your family worried, your Grandfather carted away on a stretcher, all because of poor planning, policies, and uncaring. You'd think this was the first Commencement KU has gone through or that with two new practice fields and a new building, not enough money was left over to throw up some tents, a mister or two, or at the very least, dole out some free water. In the end, it would take a team of mules dragging my lifeless carcass to get me to attend another KU Commencement. So, after all was said and done, or not done, or done poorly, with one more project to complete, some health center fees to pay, and some last-minute facilities usage to take advantage of, I'm done with that school. Done with the distinct smells of each floor, the solvents, newsprint and paint that permeates the 4th floor, the chemicals and inks of the 2nd floor, the wood and sawdust of 1st, 2 1/2, and sub-base, and the fine particles of bullshit that fall upon it all. Going up there, I already feel like I don't belong (apparently, according to the Design Department, I don't) and that is, yes, a little sad-making. Don't get me wrong, for all my bitching, taken as a whole, my years at KU were good and I will miss many friends, professors, access to darkrooms and table saws. But I wonder, wonder what all those kids are going to do now, what I'm going to do now, with our virtually useless degrees, leaving the comforts of that building to compete against each other and the world. Has KU prepared us for this? No. Not really. There were moments when they tried. And maybe that's the nature of an arts degree, to weed out the truly dedicated from the passing interests. Yet, in my opinion, there's not enough of that. There's no portfolio review to pass, no thesis, no last hurdle significant to the last semester. KU, like any relatively large state school, will gladly take your money, throw you deep into debt, without making you try too hard to prove you've got the chops. I feel like I worked my ass off these past four years, much of it just dealing with the mechanics and miscommunication inherent to The Institution itself, but I can't say I was surrounded by that same ethic, knowledge or know-how when I walked down the hill. For the sake of education in America, I hope I'm wrong. [This][1] program delves into the issues better than I ever could, and with less bitching to be sure.
Image courtesy my mad skillz, a $35,000 degree, Photoshop Elements, and some guy on the internets I "appropriated" the photo from. [1]: http://www.decliningbydegrees.org/
Comments
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OtherJoel (anonymous) says...
College graduations suck. I went back for my Master's and swore I wouldn't do the walk again, but the wife and family talked me into it, and after being constantly confused, covered in mud (it rained that morning), and getting a sunburn, I did get a nice dinner and a bottle of Glenlevet afterwards, so that helped a lot. But I don't believe a BFA is useless in the job market. I managed to find work for a few years with my undergrad degree (in sociology -- equally "useless"). Yeah, a degree alone won't get you there, but it can get you consideration. Then it's up to you. A good resume (I still believe in mailing), the ability to suck ass and sound genuine in a job interview, and some sublimation of your true opinion when your employer disgusts you (it's inevitable anywhere) will go a long way. And common sense, unless you're KU security, evidently. And depending on your soul-selling potential (probably not a lot, to your credit), there seems to be lots of work for "creatives" in corporate marketing. Yay.But most importantly, congratulations! Come by the Jackpot tonight and I'll buy you a congratulatory drink. Or anyone else, for that matter (the Jackpot part, not the drink -- I'm not that rich). Paristrika is playing with Unwed Sailor.
May 23, 2008 at 7:46 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
OtherJoel (anonymous) says...
Oh, I'll be the guy with the firing range earmuffs. The rock is too loud for my old ass.
May 23, 2008 at 7:47 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
godjilla (Jill Ensley) says...
Two things: Will you be wearing the ear muffs on your ass? Buff muffs?andSucking ass is where I'm a Viking.And now for some substance. I may take you up on that drink and thank you for the congrats and faith in my non-selling outness. I'm sure it will get chipped away by our Awesome Economy™.And yeah, not useless, it's a degree and I AM proud, but also feel like I've been spit out the ass-end of the mediocre factory. Portfolio will be where it counts.
May 23, 2008 at 8:07 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
godjilla (Jill Ensley) says...
No HTML in comments! BOOOOO! L.com is oppressing my pedestrian wit!
May 23, 2008 at 8:08 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
ladylaw (Terry Bush) says...
Sorry to hear your final days, and graduation ceremonies, were not much fun. I am going to get your story to some people...who may be able to change or explain that door policy and KU security snafu!! Note to self, find out vice provosts phone #...... I had a much finer experience graduating from KU law school low those many years ago. There was champagne provided by the law professor chosen (by the students) to walk down with us, much hilarity waiting for all but the med student to walk first, and my baby brother bothering us all with photo taking to the point some of friends mooned him. Now that you have that much vaunted piece of paper (my undergrad is in fine arts by the way) what comes next? For me, it was 10 years of realizing I did not have the ambition to do art for a living....so onto law school. I hope you have more drive then I did - but just in case, start practicing to take the LSAT! LOL. Congrats.
May 23, 2008 at 8:13 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
godjilla (Jill Ensley) says...
I'm actually more peeved by the Commencement bullshit. Since, I'm sure, my Grandfather wasn't the only one feeling it up there. They rent tents for football, why not Commencement. So if you're "trapped" in the middle, you can at least sit down in the shade. Damn, you'd think with all the money Coca-Cola throws at that school, they could cart in some free water. Poor planning, not thinking. No excuse for a school this big, and that old.Thank you Ms. Ladylaw. We'll see how the working artist thing goes. A year here in Lawrence, then grad school is the plan so far. As always, subject to change. Still don't have that piece of paper in my grubby hands and I don't trust KU not to throw some curve-ball at me...some forgotten fee left unpaid (besides Watkins).
May 23, 2008 at 8:26 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
Compy (anonymous) says...
Why did they lock your stuff up, anyway?Were you supposed to be in there after 5 or not?Is it an idotic policy or just difficult to understand / follow?I never leave my possessions unattended in government buildings....or anywhere else for that matter.Also, that piece of paper is about as useful as a line on your resume....admissions officers / employers generally don't call a university to confirm that you really graduated or even attended.....So unless you want to frame it on your wall Homer Simpson-style, I wouldn't even bother picking it up. I never did.Higher education, as you learned this weekend, is more about access to facilities, relationships (with friends and professors), and proving your ability to understand and successfully navigate the bullshit rules and policies, than actually learning anything quantifiable.By extending our education into our thirties we have effectively prolonged our childhood, allowing us to be primarily consumers as long as possible.Con-grad-ulations.
May 24, 2008 at 9:34 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
ladylaw (Terry Bush) says...
Compy - she explained the lock out. Let me attempt a summary; Jilla was working on a project in a KU building. She went outside for a moment, with the door code to return memorized - in her head. That code was changed (for some unknown reason) while she was outside (without her things). So she could not get back inside. And despite many calls to people (security and professors) no one would let her at least retrieve her belongings (not to mention return to her project). As for the piece of paper. I used to be among those who stead-fastly believed that a college degree was highly desirable for "getting ahead" in this world, particularly if you did not want to flip burgers or sell retail all of your life. I was a school snob, I confess it.However, I now believe there are a ton of people who will get and keep excellent jobs without a college degree. Some of that is because of the declining population numbers - society no longer needs to keep its "children" busy at school, to prevent flooding the job market. Rather, we are going to be begging for bodies, all too soon, to do many necessary jobs. Some of the change is also due to a growing realization that the cookie cutter model of teaching does not serve well in many cases; there are simply some people who's skill sets do not include the ability to tolerate BS for 4-10 years after they turn 18. They are smart and hard working - and want to be self-reliant ASAP. For many, the community/technical college route makes a ton more sense. Unless we're talking about a private (for profit or non-profit) school, community/tech college is often a much faster way to get a high-paying satisfying job. I just wish I'd known "back then" what I know now - the traditional college degree route is not necessary or useful in all vocational areas of life. I love school - I'd go for a living if it paid. But then I love philosophy, so that tells you I can happily sit, ponder, write, and waste time on pontification. I now have a ton more respect for those who are more result or action orientated. They made the choice to avoid the path to a piece of paper that does not result in more job opportunities. That may mean they are/were a lot smarter then me! There is a lot you can do with an art degree. But it depends upon the range of your talents and the amount of drive you have. Meanwhile, I was serious - start studying for the LSAT now.
May 24, 2008 at 9:57 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
OtherJoel (anonymous) says...
No buff muffs. I don't believe in any restriction or inhibition of posterior function. Conjunction junction...
May 24, 2008 at 11:41 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
shutyourface (anonymous) says...
i two live two blocks away from the stadium, but gave no attention towards the graduation. during the show, i was walking downtown on my way to work, listening to the ku band play something for you. it was so damn quiet, though and classy. cars were parked perfectly on the street in a fashionable line, all cleaned and shiney. no hulky college 'bras' were drinking, shouting or throwing footballs at unexpecting blonde women with tight shirts and great hopes of being trophy wives. no red or blue flags waving in glory to the full volume of idiots shouting word for word some line from some movie or tv show, two inches from each other's face. or the following laughter as if they've never heard such humor, obviously becuase they created it RIGHT then and are in their own circles Plato and Socrates, getting down. no loud speaker playing mankind's worst jingle after every timeout or touchdown. from my perspective, i thought your graduation was as peaceful as it could get. it felt like thousands of people were really close but held at gunpoint to shut up so i couldn't find out where. even the folks parked five blocks away were tip-toeing in respect. i almost got a little down for not being a graduate myself. it reminded me of walking by a church service. you could shout anything knowing everyone inside would hear you, but you don't, because you're not an asshole.but i didn't know anything. did i? i've met and spoke with over fifty graduates of this year and not a one said anything nice. mud, sweat, and basketball? i now want to know if anything is going to come of this? or are you all collectively going to drop it? i could understand that what's done is done and everyone's time is finally over, so getting dirty with a giant school wouldn't be on anyone's weekend planner. but i've heard so much of what seemed honorable complaining from graduates but no formal, informal, or any kind of apology from the school. what gives?i dunno. America is a nation of entertainers anymore. We've traded in our sceince and math for guitars. Sex has actually became a sport. There is very little wisdom left in this land and very few people are searching for it. It's only fitting an American state's top college directs more thought into personal business rather than the very job it was created to do. congratulations and stuff.
May 24, 2008 at 1:19 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
Snoop (anonymous) says...
Man I'm checking out your entry here and your story and all kinds of shit about KU's "collegiate bureaucracy" comes to mind. I'm just grinding my teeth wishing I could expose a number of stories about my experiences dealing with what I regard as a far greater bureaucracy and stupidity than my military experiences.From fighting with facilities over the removal of massive quantities of bird shit (no joke) above one of the campuses busiest lecture rooms, to getting ticketed for parking while working late helping out a professor during a major lecture. There is a bureaucratic reason to shun basic common sense.It is clear that KU and I imagine most colleges or major universities are NOT run like businesses. There are glaring examples of massive idiotic bureaucracy, corruption, departmental mismanagement, racism, salary and wage disparities and just flat greed. And you can't eradicate it because you can't get rid of the people overseeing it.I just found out that an individual who was a major loser retard at the head of one major department on campus is now heading up another. Instead of getting rid of retards KU finds other high paying jobs for them. As someone who does not have a degree I'm still like hats off to those who complete "the mission" but because of my experiences dealing with some of these people who heads up the various departments at KU I would be very reluctant to send my hard earned dollars there to aid my kid in the honor of marching down a hill. Sorry about the rant but when I hear tales of the inner workings of KU my head starts to hurt.Anywho, congrats!
May 24, 2008 at 1:39 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
paavopetie (anonymous) says...
"Also, that piece of paper is about as useful as a line on your resume"Actually, you can use at as a second form of identification when getting your driver's license.
May 24, 2008 at 11:06 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
DOTDOT (anonymous) says...
It could be said the the institution collects money not to prepare students for real-world competition, but to protect them from it. But I'm not enough of an asshole to articulate such a sophomoric reduction of the actual lack of intent inherent in the process.Congratulations again.
May 25, 2008 at 2:03 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
reeveso (John Reeves) says...
Another use for the paper diploma: sell pieces of it to next year's graduates as means to block the latch on the security coded doors in their final hours.
May 26, 2008 at 9:33 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
godjilla (Jill Ensley) says...
I feel bad that I put off responding to everyone so long that this is now, most likely, a dead topic. Though, I do intend on writing letters to KU...Vice Provost? Anyone know what the best plan of action is on complaining about Commencement AND lock-out policy? I have no faith that a letter will do anything, so...anyone got any better ideas. I don't know who said it, but they're right. It's much easier to just be relieved and be done with it, but the least I can do is make my voice heard.Thanks everyone for the congrats and I think Mr. Reeves wins for Best Use of A College Diploma. :)And I didn't know you could use it as a 2nd form of ID at the DMV. I may just forget my other identification just to get some use out of the thing.
May 30, 2008 at 10:59 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )