Don't Be Ashamed. Own It.

I’ve talked to some friends since writing Good Blog Almighty, and many of them sheepishly admit they enjoy the blog usually by saying something like, “Don’t tell anyone, but I love catching up on celebrity gossip in your blog!”

Um, okay. But I understand. Some people still think it’s unacceptable to enjoy reading about celebrity gossip. The naysayers say it’s not intellectually stimulating, it kills brain cells, it contributes to the giant cultural stain that is the celebrity gossip mill, blah, blah, blah. I disagree. Since starting this beautiful journey with you all, I’ve delighted in reaching out to you with my love for all things celebrity gossip.

I’ve learned to own it. I’ve learned not to apologize for it. Because I know it’s just a facet of what makes me a nice, intelligent person. I know I can easily pick up a copy of the New Yorker and read that (and I do), but I can also enjoy US Magazine. It’s okay to diversify. But if you are still in the closet with your celebrity gossip addiction, that is okay. Just knowing I’ve helped out one person makes this all worthwhile.

God does look out for me

I didn’t know things could get any better with the Real Housewives franchise until I read this juicy news. I guess a Real Housewives of Atlanta part deux may be in development, featuring MEN FOLK. That’s right…it’s a real “househusbands” of the ATL, tentatively called “Boys Club: ATL.” I giggled with anticipation when reading this. I love the Real Housewives of Atlanta (it’s my favorite out of them all, with the Housewives of New Jersey coming in second). It’s the perfect mix of hilarity and fashion and society and Jerry Springer-ish antics rolled into one, messy amazing ball of delight. Now we just have to wait for the new show to start featuring the men of Atlanta high society. You know you are excited as I am…don’t be ashamed. Own it.

Michael Lohan shouldn’t get the father of the year award

Lindsey Lohan’s father, Michael Lohan, is a public menace. You don’t have to look too far to see where the crazy comes from in that family (either parent would do). Michael decided that in order to truly help Lindsey, he should publish private voice mails from family members such as Dina Lohan (mom), and Lindsey’s assistant, about how Lindsey needs help. Papa Lohan, you are probably making it worse. And I’m pretty sure you yourself are a total fame addict and are looking for publicity more than you’re looking to help your daughter. I mean, you are working on a reality show about celebrity divorced dads with none other than Jon Gosselin. p.s. In one of the voice mails Dina claims Lindsey was seeing Heath Ledger when he died. I don’t know what to think about this…I’d love to think it’s not true, but he was also rumored to be dating one of the Olson twins, so what’s the difference? He was slumming either way. The truth hurts sometimes.

And you thought your ex was annoying

Jennifer Lopez has asked for a restraining order on her ex husband, Ojani Noa. Noa is mostly known as Jennifer’s first husband (back when she was a struggling backup dancer) who now tries to cash in on his failed relationship. He’s tried to publish a “tell-all” book about his marriage to Miss Jenny from the Block, but that was blocked by Jennifer’s peeps. Now he’s trying to distribute an 11-hour home video of times with Miss Jennifer, including footage from their honeymoon. He’s calling itThe J.Lo and Ojani Noa Story. Weird and disturbing. Get a life, and get a real job. Sounds like she’s going to have to beat this guy down with a stick, because he keeps rising up like the Phoenix. Good luck with that.

Emma Thompson gets heat for removing name from Polanski petition

It must be hard to be a celebrity, because you feel like you have to side with certain causes to kiss ass and whatnot. I’m just assuming that’s why Emma Thompson initially signed the Polanski petition to keep him out of jail. Now she has removed her name from the petition and is being attacked for “petition tourism.” Please. Show me some evidence that she’s a serial petition tourist and I might agree, but she probably just decided it didn’t look too good to be associated with the defense of a rapist. I’m not his biggest fan, can you tell?

Pam Anderson’s kids…a chip off the old Tommy Lee block

So, who knew Pam Anderson was slumming in a trailer park these days? Of course, she’s a celebrity, so it’s a fancy shmancy trailer park, and one where “trailers” run from over $300,000 to over a million dollars. But I guess by Hollywood standards that’s the lowest of the low. Rumor has it she’s just living there while her home is being renovated. Who knows, but her boys aren’t the most popular kids around there. I guess they’ve been described as trailer park terrors, running around, riding their bikes and TERRORIZING THE NEIGHBORS! But more disturbing than that is the fact that Pam herself said her oldest son, Brandon, tried to get into a fight with an 18 or 19-year old counseler from his school because the counselor said something bad about Pam (imagine that).

"My son got in trouble at school for beating somebody up. Well, not really beating somebody up. Just one of the counsellors, who's 18 or 19, made a rude comment about me to him. Brandon threw his Red Bull (drink) on him and then went after him and they had to peel him off him.

"Now I'm getting called into school. But I think when somebody says something bad about your mother, what are you supposed to do? It is hard when other kids are like, 'I've seen your mom with her clothes off!' I've tried to teach my kids I have no problem with nudity. Violence isn't good but Brandon was really upset, he was shaking and crying and looking in my eyes. It's so sad."

It is sad to see your kids upset for any reason. No, Pam, nudity isn’t bad. Of course not. But here’s the deal--Selling yourself and your fake ta-ta’s to the nudey mags for money isn’t the most honorable way to earn a buck, either. You what makes you happy…but don’t be surprised when your kids hear things at school. I mean, you ARE Pam Anderson-what do you expect?! I’m not justifying it at all. Just saying it shouldn’t come as a surprise when people say stupid stuff about you to your kids. The way you could deal with this would be to sit your boys down and tell them A) This is what Mommy does for a living B) So you might expect to hear snarky things from people now and again C) this is how you deal with said snarky comments…not using your fists but using your words! I know it’s super annoying to get parenting advice from anyone (trust me, I know), but I really think this is for your own good, Pam. Oh, and where is Tommy Lee during all of this? You know he would never put up with his sons beating the crap out of someone!! I kid, I kid.

It’s Crumbly Crumbs time!

Allegedly Angie Jolie is adopting yet another babe, this time one from Syria. The gossipers are saying Brad is not on board, as Angie is the only one who signed the papers for the baby. Yikes. Time will tell…

Aerosmith is NOT losing Steven Tyler (whew). First concert I saw without my parentals? That’s right, Aerosmith. And you are right if you suspect that I wore ripped jean shorts with black tights underneath and an Aerosmith concert t-shirt with black army boots. HAWT. Anyway, I guess the rumor mill was all abuzz with the news Steven had jumped ship. Even Joe Perry was claiming it to be true. So what gives? Well, Steven himself said the following: “I just want New York to know, I am not leaving Aerosmith," And Joe Perry, you are a man of many colors but I, motherfucker, am the rainbow!" And all was right in the world.

Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland is coming together, and here’s a new movie poster. I cannot wait for this to come out! Alice in Wonderland is already a strange tale, so Tim Burton is the perfect person to make it amazing. Amazingly strange, that is.

Shanna Moakler, best known for her volitale marriage to drummer Travis Barker (and for being a former Miss America), recently called Khloe Kardashian a donkey. Now that’s just not very nice. She sorta apologized for it, but Khloe’s not having any of that. And I’m pretty sure if Shanna and Khloe got into a rumble, Shanna might just get her teeth knocked out. Just a hunch.

Let’s officially kill all our brain cells by watching this sure-to-be-train-wreck reality show, starring our favorite reality fame whore, Omarosa (from the first season of the Apprentice, of course). I watched that season and wanted many times to push Omarosa into the path of a New York City cab. No, that isn’t very nice, and no, I would never, ever actually do that. But that’s how annoying and evil she was. And Trump couldn’t stand her, either, but now he’s working with her on a reality show. God help us all.

And in super sad news, I guess Celine Dion isn't pregnant. Remember, she announced she was pregnant awhile ago? She and husband René Angélil thought they had a successful second pregnancy from IVF, but it turns out the pregnancy didn't take. It's always tough to have to go through this, so I cannot imagine going through it in the public eye. I like to make fun Miss Celine, but deep down inside I like her. What's not to like? She and René have weathered the times together, and they seem like nice enough folks (albeit loons with way too much money). And she's just so kooky you cannot help but like her a little, even if you do cringe when she sings (because she makes the most embarrassing faces when singing...just Youtube it and you'll see what I mean). But that voice...it's amazing, no? So, back to the point. I feel bad for them. I hope their next attempt is a successful one.

To perk us all up a little, enjoy this 1980’s era video. This is before all the Youtube mania, so this lady was way ahead of her time. And I’m not so sure her bunny friend wants to play the piano. Mr. Bunny looks a little annoyed.

Comments

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  1. MyName (anonymous) says…

    Is it bad that I sort of read this blog so I don't have to read the celebrity mags.

  2. bananaloggirl (anonymous) says…

    E Curtis, I LOVE your blog. No shame here!

  3. shakefatty (anonymous) says…

    so much to comment on. OK, first: look at the crazy eyes J Lo's ex-man is wearing. Should've know then he was not gonna go down easy. Second: Am I the only one who wonders why a teenager is playing school counselor at Pam Anderson's school of choice? I know my publically funded school must be less posh, and I would throw a fit if this were the case. Just sayin. Third, when did the kick ass, hard rockin dudes from Aerosmith become such bitchy divas?! I'm so glad you brought this one up. I, also, am a big fan, but now I just think of them as little pissy whiners. So excited about Alice in Wonderland, but you didn't mention the delightful fact that Johnny Depp will be playing the mad hatter. I love me a Tim Burton movie, but one with Johnny is twice as nice...
    And last, the bunny video. WTF.,.. This is why sweet little bunnies have nightmares or dream of having hands to hold knives with so they can skin a human for once. Yikes.

  4. ecurtis (E. Curtis) says…

    MyName--absolutely not. I hope that helps. :)