Lawrence.com

Good week to you! Not a lot to post on this week, but with the Thanksgiving holiday coming up, surely there will be much more celebrity drama just around the corner. One can only hope and pray, anyway.

Mommas, don’t let your babies grow up to be Amy Winehouse

Long story short. Crackhead, er, British pop star/walking nightmare Amy Winehouse recently had her fun bags enhanced. Well, seems they have sprung a wee leek. And that’s according to her daddio. WOW. That’s all I can muster right now. Check in with me later to see if I’ve gathered enough energy to muster more on this subject.

Don’t mess with Martha…

So Martha Stewart’s inner hag has returned (I missed it). Her most recent target would be that highly annoying Rachael Ray. Martha says in a Nightline interview:

"Well, to me, she professed that she could — cannot bake. She just did a new cookbook which is just a re-edit of a lot of her old recipes. ...And that's not good enough for me.”

Martha goes on to say that RR is more of an "entertainer" rather than a teacher (unlike Oh Holy Mother of all Things Perfect). Martha should just get it over with and marry herself. Anyway, sure, RR is supremely cringe-worthy (yes, I have two of her cookbooks, but no, I cannot stand watching her screech her way through an episode of 30 Minute Meals). But she’s a decent enough cook, and I applaud her for just being herself. I think this is just Martha’s way…she can’t help but step on others while talking about herself. I think that just comes naturally to her. For what it’s worth, I also own a Martha Stewart cookbook, and I’ve never cooked a damn thing out of it. It’s “healthy meals” that are made for 80 lb. girls who never eat more than a carrot stick. I’d rather cozy up with my Paula Deen cookbooks any day of the week. Viva la butter.

This is what Playgirl spreads do to commoners…

Playgirl model Levi Johnston has a big head now. No…that’s NOT what I meant! Ahem. But seriously, Levi Johnston (according to Page Six spies) recently refused to stand in line with all the “regular people” waiting for an American Airlines flight. Even Jason Alexander (Seinfeld) stood in line quietly like a normal person (I mean, aren’t we all the same, people, at the end of the day?). I love this story, because it just makes it that much easier to make fun of this dolt.

“Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels”

Catchy, eh? Shocking, yes. Who loves this slogan/phrase? Take one, wild guess. Our favorite 55 lb. model and white powder enthusiast, Kate Moss. And she’s proud of it. I want to knock her out and force feed her some White Castle.

Twilight update

I’m not going to post much on the Twilight mania going on right now…but don’t get me wrong. I will see the New Moon movie. I realize I am not 12 years old. But *you* read those stupid things and tell me you aren’t captivated by the amazing writing and character development. But seriously, they are addictive. Kinda like when you start eating those mini Tootsie Rolls and just cannot stop popping them in your mouth. It’s like that. So, I’ll just leave you with this. Mr. Robert Pattinson. On Ellen this Friday. Set your DVRs, ladies and gents.